December has got to be the fastest month in the history of the calendar. As soon as December 1st arrives, I get this rushing sensation like hanging onto the bar of a convertible jeep on the freeway. Yeah, it's that fast!
After the fast writing marathon of November, December is usually break month for a lot of writers and agents - a time to focus on family and the warmth-inspiring holidays.
To be honest, I've been taking a break from writing for a while now. I haven't really gotten back into it since my accident in June. I'm all better now from that, but the writing splendor I was enjoying daily prior just hasn't returned. Maybe it's because I needed some time to let my survival soak in. My husband told me the guys at the impound lot, or junk yard or wherever they take cars to die, took one look at the non-existent front of the car and asked wide-eyed what happened to the driver. I don't take my survival for granted. My kids and I are still here because of angels. So that's something that has taken a lot of processing.
Now I'm expecting my third child and taking care of two little munchkins who are growing up way too fast - like every day is December 1st. Sometimes there are things in life that just throw you for a loop, make you realize what matters the most. That's what this accident did for me. Lying in bed the next day, unable to move at all without tremendous pain, the concept of my mortality felt really close.
While there was a part of me that thought what a waste all my rough drafts would be if that had happened, it was a very small part. I LOVE writing. But not as much as I love being a wife, a mother, a sister, and a daughter.
I'm not giving up on writing by any means. Now that November is officially over (It's December 9th already!!!), I'm sure I'll get a swift kick in the rear from my awesome CPs and we'll start sharing again. I'm looking forward to that because writing is something that fulfills me, even if it's not THE THING that fulfills me or makes me ME.
To be honest, I'm kind of relieved to have discovered that. It's liberated me from this deep-rooted competitiveness within that made me feel less-than just because I'm nearly 30 and not published. Because of my accident, I'm staring down my high school reunion at the end of this month, just a few Christmas-y weeks away. And I'm excited.
Who cares what I've accomplished? I'm alive and I'm in love with my husband and my kids. I fall for them more every single day. That's who I am.
Writing is just the cherry on top.
***I happy were you are too!***
ReplyDeleteAwww, love this post :)
ReplyDeleteCongrats on another bundle of joy!
I'm glad everything's okay!
ReplyDeleteAlso, as for the age thing, I don't think it's ever too late to publish. (I personally take comfort in the fact that Jane Austen was 40 when her first book came out--and there are other authors who started even later!)
You sound very wise. I hope you have an enjoyable holiday season. And when you return to writing, you'll feel more relaxed and inspired. Take care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteHappy December! Love your post! I also try to remember every day to be grateful for my children and for our health. They do grow so fast! So thanks for reminding me yet again how important it is to be happy with where I am right now.
ReplyDeleteWow, I didn't know about the accident! SCARY!!! I'm so glad you and your kids survived! Funny how sometimes it takes something like that to put it all in perspective. Thank you for sharing so we can benefit from what you learned.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas!