I feel like the last person in the world who should be writing this post. It's the night (well, really, just a few hours) before I need to post it, and I'm writing it on my phone on the subway to work, I’m finishing it on a work computer on my break and hoping I have enough time to get it done.
Because I didn't balance my life well, up till now. I let it knock me down, around, totally out.
I tried, I guess. But I’m overwhelmed. I can’t seem to make it work, between a full-time job on this weird schedule I love, that I don’t mind and almost, one might say...like?
Tack on a social life, though, and things are harder. I have to plan seeing my friends days in advance, because between my work schedule and when I need to sleep and how much I need to sleep and commuting to meet them I just...there’s never enough time.
What about writing, for my blog, for other sites, for this blog? What about my books?
And then. The reason I break, the thing that knocks me out totally in the end.
I don’t know how to keep going. Every day, it seems, there’s a new reason to just stop. Just when I think — hey, things might be better! — there’s a new reason to break. To crack. To be destroyed.
It comes unexpectedly. There’s no warning. There’s no premonition. One second I’m laughing because I’m fine, really, truly, that’s not a lie, I’m fine and maybe a little more than fine.
And the next second I’m crumpled. Like a dirtied napkin or a deflated beach ball. No good to myself, extremely no good to anyone else.
Which is what I’m trying to be, more than anything else here. Good to anyone else. Good to the world. Helpful. Someone people can count on. For work, for friendship, for extra-curricular activities.
But the more I sign up for, the more impossible it is to do it all period, much less to do it all well.
I don’t know how to end this post because how do I, who haven't figured out the balance of hustle and rest, tell you about it?
I'll end it like this: do your best. Protect your health. Protect your relationships. Protect your creativity.
And believe in yourself.
8 comments:
Interesting. I found that instead of trying to balance everything, it's easier to make "hard choices" and limit things to do. I prioritized things, so survival (day job and chores) goes first, then there's writing, then "everything else" - so reading, video games and arts and crafts. I gave up socializing and dancing and many other things, but I feel it's worth it. I'm not overwhelmed (except for when I do sign up for more things than I should - but it happens rarely nowadays), and even if I'm still behind with things, clear priorities help me to not stress about it too much, but try to catch up. :)
I wrote more about it, if you're interested: http://melfka.com/archives/3521
Nicely said.
John @ The Sound Of One Hand Typing
This is so true. I'm sitting here with friends right now getting caught up on A to Z stuff while my best friend sorts my mail for me and later I have to do taxes. Time is insane.
Great post - I try and be supportive of so many things that at times I forget about looking after my health and relationships - sound advice there
Very relatable post! Every word of it spoke to me, because I struggle with the same things each day. Trying to balance each thing we signed up for is very exhausting! The last lines were especially amazing!
You post the struggles that many have, especially over A to Z. I'm retired and still find it a tough challenge and needing to discard things to keep up.
I totally agree with the ending of the post.
Nice piece. Though I try for balance, when April came I realised that I've only texted my friends since December... Yeah, I'm definitely not on the list for "best friend" this year. I've been so focused on work and my health, that it hasn't left much time for anything else. Sigh. Maybe next month I'll do better?
Ronel visiting from the A-Z Challenge with Music and Writing: Home-Grown
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