Week #40 – The Time Machine by HG Wells

Last year on Mondays we had fun with books. This year, we'll look at most of the same books but also some new ones, and see if the first line [or first paragraph] met the goal of a first line which is ==> to hook the reader's attention.

Here are some tips on writing a first line

https://www.masterclass.com/articles/tips-for-writing-the-opening-line-of-your-novel

Week #40 –  The Time Machine by HG Wells

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Time_Machine

https://www.gutenberg.org/cache/epub/35/pg35-images.html

First published: May 7, 1895

Here's what the story is about: A scientist builds a time machine and travels to the year 802,701. He finds that humanity has evolved into two races: the childlike Eloi and the savage Morlocks. His machine disappears, so he explores the future world to find it.  

First line/paragraph:

The Time Traveller (for so it will be convenient to speak of him) was expounding a recondite matter to us. His pale grey eyes shone and twinkled, and his usually pale face was flushed and animated. The fire burnt brightly, and the soft radiance of the incandescent lights in the lilies of silver caught the bubbles that flashed and passed in our glasses. Our chairs, being his patents, embraced and caressed us rather than submitted to be sat upon, and there was that luxurious after-dinner atmosphere, when thought runs gracefully free of the trammels of precision. And he put it to us in this way—marking the points with a lean forefinger—as we sat and lazily admired his earnestness over this new paradox (as we thought it) and his fecundity.

This appears to be omniscient POV. The story begins with a description of The Time Traveller, presumably the main character, and the setting. This was apparently a common beginning to books written in this time period. A first paragraph of entirely description without even a hint of plot usually won't capture my attention, but since I know the basic premise of the story and I know it was written so long ago, I would probably give it a chapter or so, to see if it caught my interest.

Does this first line/paragraph hook your attention? If you had never heard of this story, would you buy this book in 2024? Knowing the story, would you change the first line? Tell us in the comments!

Dear O'Abby: What is hybrid publishing? (from the archives)

I've been seeing a few questions cycling through my in box that I've already answered in the past, so if you're reading and think you may have seen this before, you're not wrong! But if I answered a question more than two years ago, and someone asks the same thing again, I feel like it's okay to re-post something from the archives if the advice has remained largely the same...

Dear O'Abby,

I've completed a novel I'm pretty happy with.  My readers seem to like it and I feel like it's in a pretty good place to begin the publishing journey.  I've written other books in the past, queried them (unsuccessfully) and even ventured into self-publishing.  

Since I was last considering publication, there seems to be a new thing called "hybrid" publishing around and I'm not entirely sure what this is.  Can you illuminate me? Is this just a new name for vanity publishing? 

Thanks so much!

Truly,

OldSkool

Dear OldSkool,

Good question!  Hybrid publishing is a relatively recent model which sits somewhere between self-publishing and traditional publishing.  

Under this model the author will still cover the majority of costs for the publication of the book, much like self-publishing.  The advantages are that a hybrid publisher will have distribution networks a self-published author probably doesn't have and will be able to get the book into bookstores.

The publisher will likely have their own imprints and your book would be published under one of these and receive its ISBN from the publisher.  

To offset the investment you put into the publishing of your book, royalty rates with hybrid publishers tend to be higher than traditional publishing.  But the publisher will still take a cut that would not be taken out if you self-published.

Be aware that even though you may be willing to pay a hybrid publisher, they may not accept your book.  Like all businesses, hybrid publishers need to focus on books that will make money and enhance their reputation, so they are likely to focus their time and energy on authors whose work is likely to sell. 

Just like with small presses, I suggest you do through research before submitting to a hybrid publisher.  If they don't have access to better distribution tools than you would have as a self-published author, there is little point. There may be some editorial work done on your book, but as a self-publisher you probably already have an editor you work with, or could find one whose fees fit your budget.

You also need to consider if you can afford to pay for the print run.  As a hybrid author your books will likely be sent to bookstores on consignment, and if they don't sell, you may be saddled with a print run that costs thousands of dollars that doesn't return much to you.  You may also lose control of some decision making about your book like pricing, where it is sold and even editorial matters.

At the end of the day, the decision is yours.  While it may be exciting to have your book accepted by a publisher and to have your name next to theirs on the cover, you will still be paying to produce the book.  Unless the publisher has a strong track record of success in publishing and distributing its books, the value of giving up a percentage of royalties may be limited.

Hope that helps and good luck with your publishing journey!  

X O'Abby

Week #39 – The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson

Last year on Mondays we had fun with books. This year, we'll look at most of the same books but also some new ones, and see if the first line [or first paragraph] met the goal of a first line which is ==> to hook the reader's attention.

Here are some tips on writing a first line

https://www.masterclass.com/articles/tips-for-writing-the-opening-line-of-your-novel

Week #39 –    The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strange_Case_of_Dr_Jekyll_and_Mr_Hyde

https://www.gutenberg.org/files/43/43-h/43-h.htm

First published: January 5, 1886

Here's what the story is about: Dr Jekyll is a kind, well-respected, and intelligent scientist who experiments with the darker side of science. He transforms himself into Mr Hyde - his evil alter ego. 

First line/paragraph:

Mr. Utterson the lawyer was a man of a rugged countenance that was never lighted by a smile; cold, scanty and embarrassed in discourse; backward in sentiment; lean, long, dusty, dreary and yet somehow lovable. At friendly meetings, and when the wine was to his taste, something eminently human beaconed from his eye; something indeed which never found its way into his talk, but which spoke not only in these silent symbols of the after-dinner face, but more often and loudly in the acts of his life. He was austere with himself; drank gin when he was alone, to mortify a taste for vintages; and though he enjoyed the theatre, had not crossed the doors of one for twenty years. But he had an approved tolerance for others; sometimes wondering, almost with envy, at the high pressure of spirits involved in their misdeeds; and in any extremity inclined to help rather than to reprove. “I incline to Cain’s heresy,” he used to say quaintly: “I let my brother go to the devil in his own way.” In this character, it was frequently his fortune to be the last reputable acquaintance and the last good influence in the lives of downgoing men. And to such as these, so long as they came about his chambers, he never marked a shade of change in his demeanour.

This appears to be omniscient POV. The story begins with a description of Mr. Utterson, a lawyer. The description is rather bleak but also includes “yet somehow lovable” which sets up a contrast which may entice me to read a few paragraphs. Overall though, this first paragraph is entirely description without even a hint of plot so I probably would not be inclined to read more.

Does this first line/paragraph hook your attention? If you had never heard of this story, would you buy this book in 2024? Knowing the story, would you change the first line? Tell us in the comments!

Dear O'Abby: Should I discount my books

 Dear O'Abby,

Lots of people have told me that the reason I'm not selling more books is because I don't discount them, but it seems counter-intuitive to discount something when you want to make money from them.  As it is, I'm selling my novels at $3.99, which seems incredibly cheap to me.  Do I really need to discount them further to sell more?

Best wishes,

Discountless

Dear Discountless,

I understand that when you're selling books at an already low rate, the idea of discounting further is kind of appalling.  But there are reasons to do it.  

Given the price-point you've mentioned, I'm assuming you're referring to e-books here, not print, so I'll focus on e-book discounts in this newsletter. If you're interested in print discounts, let me know in the comments and I'll cover that in a future post.  I'm also assuming from your email that you have more than one book published.

When you have a new book out, especially if it's the second, third or subsequent book in a series, it is often a good idea to discount the earlier books just ahead of publication to encourage people to start reading the series.  If it's compelling enough, they'll be gagging for the next installment and more than willing to pay full price for the new one just to find out what happens next.

If you don't write series, offering a discount on your new title can help sell that new book and generate reviews which are so, so valuable in getting your work discovered by readers.  None of these discounts need to be long-term - you can discount for a period, then bump the price back up to normal.

It can also be great for sales to offer a discount when you're doing a campaign.  If people see your ads, but don't know you as an author, they are more likely to take a punt on a book if it's .99c than $3.99.  Then, if they like it, they're likely not to balk at the full price for other books in your catalogue. 

Other times it might be worth offering a discounted price is if you have a book that takes place during a particular time - say, Christmas.  Offering a discount over that period can help generate sales.  Or if your book is set against the high octane world behind the scenes of an election campaign, it is probably worth offering a discount over the election period to capitalise on the current event.  I would be cautious about this when it comes to some topics though...  Be sensitive.  Just because a school shooting or horrific natural disaster is in the news, doesn't mean it's the time to try and sell your book about that subject.  You could look ghoulish or risk traumatising people.

On the whole, discounting is just one of the many tools you have to sell books, and it might take time to figure out exactly when works best of you to use it to its best advantage.  Don't be afraid to experiment.  even if discounting only results in a handful more sales, if those readers love our work, they're likely to become loyal to you and may tell others about your books.  It all helps...

X O'Abby

Week #38 – The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

Last year on Mondays we had fun with books. This year, we'll look at most of the same books but also some new ones, and see if the first line [or first paragraph] met the goal of a first line which is ==> to hook the reader's attention.

Here are some tips on writing a first line

https://www.masterclass.com/articles/tips-for-writing-the-opening-line-of-your-novel

Week #38 – The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Book_Thief

First published: September 1, 2005

Here's what the story is about: Liesel Meminger is a 9-year-old German girl living with foster parents who conceal a Jewish man during World War II. Her foster father helps Liesel learn to read and write, and she begins to steal books that the politicians are seeking to destroy. The story is narrated by Death.

First line/paragraph:

DEATH AND CHOCOLATE

First the colors.
Then the humans.
That's usually how I see things.
Or at least, how I try.

***HERE IS A SMALL FACT***
You are going to die.

I am in all truthfulness attempting to be cheerful about this whole topic, though most people find themselves hindered in believing me, no matter my protestations. Please, trust me. I most definitely can be cheerful. I can be amiable. Agreeable. Affable. And that's only the A's. Just don't ask me to be nice. Nice has nothing to do with me.

This is first person POV but the narrator is unusual. He references “the humans” so we know he is apparently not human. Then he goes abruptly into “you are going to die” and is attempting to be cheerful about the topic [but not nice]. He's also humorous, saying he can be cheerful, amiable, agreeable, affable, “and that's only the A's”. But we soon learn the narrator is Death. Nothing about the characters or plot yet, but I'm sufficiently interested in this unusual narrator that I would give it a few pages to see if it hooked me.

Does this first line/paragraph hook your attention? If you had never heard of this story, would you buy this book in 2024? Knowing the story, would you change the first line? Tell us in the comments!

Dear O'Abby: How do I get my self-published book into bookstores?

 Dear O'Abby,

I have self-published a series of fantasy novels and have had pretty good online sales across a variety of online retailers.  But it has always been my dream to have a book on shelves at a bricks-and-mortar bookstore, and I'm not sure how to make this happen.

Do you have any insight how I could do this, even on a small scale?

Thanks so much!

Best,

Unshelved

Dear Unshelved,

I think being on library and bookstore shelves is every writer's dream, so I completely understand.  Unfortunately, it isn't necessarily the easiest thing in the world, and can end up being very uneconomic.  In my case, I end up losing around $10 on every physical book I sell in a physical bookstore, meaning it's not economically sustainable for me to do. But then, I live in New Zealand so the freight costs to get books to me are substantially more than they might be if you live closer to the place your books are printed.  But something to bear in mind.

The other thing to think about is the fact a bookstore needs to make a profit, so they are likely to take a percentage of the sale price (usually 25%-35%).  Which means that to just break even on the cost of producing the book, you're going to need to mark up the price you sell it to booksellers. As they will probably mark it up again to get the profit margin they need to get, you need to think about the customer facing price and whether it's realistic for consumers.  Again, in my case, to make any money out of a bookstore sale, my books would need to sell at around NZ$35-$40.  Which is more than a typical YA paperback would sell for at a local bookstore.

Once you've done your budgeting and figured out whether selling at stores is actually worth it, the easiest first step is to go to bookstores in your local area (or phone first and make an appointment with the owner/book buyer) to pitch your book.  I suggest approaching a store that specializes in your genre first, if there is one in your local area.  It will be easier to get a romance novel into a store that focuses on romance than to get a romance into a more general bookstore.

Bookstores usually take books from self-pubbed authors on consignment, meaning you will only get paid for the book once it has been sold.  If the book doesn't sell the copies you give the store in a certain time period, it's likely the store will return them to you.

Another option is to use a book distributor like IngramSpark which is a print-on-demand company and means you don't need to invest in a massive print run up front. It's important to allow returns when setting up distribution through a system like this - stores are unlikely to buy copies if they can't return them if they don't sell.

And like all things, the more publicity and marketing you put behind your book, the more likely it is to get picked up by stores.  Like all businesses, bookstores need to make money, and they don't make money by having books sitting on their shelves - they need to fly out the door.  So create demand for the book.  If people are asking for it, booksellers are more likely to stock it.  And if the copies they have fly off the shelves, then they're more likely to re-order.

Hope that's helpful!

X O'Abby

Week #37 – Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell

Last year on Mondays we had fun with books. This year, we'll look at most of the same books but also some new ones, and see if the first line [or first paragraph] met the goal of a first line which is ==> to hook the reader's attention.

Here are some tips on writing a first line

https://www.masterclass.com/articles/tips-for-writing-the-opening-line-of-your-novel

Week #37 –   Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gone_with_the_Wind_(novel)

https://gutenberg.net.au/ebooks02/0200161h.html

First published: June 30, 1936

Here's what the story is about: Scarlett O’Hara is the spoiled daughter of a wealthy plantation owner. The story begins when she is 16 and ends when she is 28. The novel is set in Georgia during the Civil War and Reconstruction period. The book won the Pulitzer Prize and is one of the best-selling books of all time. 

First line/paragraph:

Scarlett O'Hara was not beautiful, but men seldom realized it when caught by her charm as the Tarleton twins were. In her face were too sharply blended the delicate features of her mother, a Coast aristocrat of French descent, and the heavy ones of her florid Irish father. But it was an arresting face, pointed of chin, square of jaw. Her eyes were pale green without a touch of hazel, starred with bristly black lashes and slightly tilted at the ends. Above them, her thick black brows slanted upward, cutting a startling oblique line in her magnolia-white skin—that skin so prized by Southern women and so carefully guarded with bonnets, veils and mittens against hot Georgia suns.

This appears to be omniscient voice. The reader is introduced to Scarlett O'Hara, who we assume is the protagonist, with a description of her that focuses on her physical appearance but also gives us some insight as to her personality [charm], the setting [Georgia], and a little of the culture [white skin prized by Southern women]. The voice is good and the description is intriguing. This will hook me for a page or two, but something of the plot must occur in the next few paragraphs or I'd soon lose interest. The next paragraph gives the year 1861 and Scarlett's age of 16. We get more of the setting and a hint of the plot. I'd give the story a few more pages to see if it hooked me.

Does this first line/paragraph hook your attention? If you had never heard of this story, would you buy this book in 2024? Knowing the story, would you change the first line? Tell us in the comments!

O'Abby's September writing prompt

 I have been reading a book that uses metaphor really effectively and beautifully and it made me think a lot about how powerful a metaphor can be in writing.  Especially if it's one that is extended beyond a single sentence and can be brought back throughout a story.

So this month, I'd like you to use a metaphor in a piece of short fiction and to make this metaphor a central part of the story you are creating.

If you're unsure what a metaphor is, here's the dictionary definition:

A metaphor is a figure of speech that implicitly compares two unrelated things, typically by stating that one thing is another (e.g., “that chef is a magician”). Metaphors can be used to create vivid imagery, exaggerate a characteristic or action, or express a complex idea.

Post your story in the comments so we can all see it.

I'll look forward to seeing what you come up with.  Happy writing!

X O'Abby

Week #36 – The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by CS Lewis

Last year on Mondays we had fun with books. This year, we'll look at most of the same books but also some new ones, and see if the first line [or first paragraph] met the goal of a first line which is ==> to hook the reader's attention.

Here are some tips on writing a first line

https://www.masterclass.com/articles/tips-for-writing-the-opening-line-of-your-novel

Week #36 – The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by CS Lewis

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lion,_the_Witch_and_the_Wardrobe

https://gutenberg.ca/ebooks/lewiscs-thelionthewitchandthewardrobe/lewiscs-thelionthewitchandthewardrobe-00-h.html

First published: October 16, 1950

Here's what the story is about: The first book in the Chronicles of Narnia. Siblings Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy, step through a wardrobe door and into Narnia, a land frozen in eternal winter and enslaved by the White Witch. Aslan the Great Lion gives his life to save one of the children and later rises from the dead, an allegory of Jesus Christ. Aslan and the children work to free Narnia from the White Witch.

First line/paragraph:

Once there were four children whose names were Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy. This story is about something that happened to them when they were sent away from London during the war because of the air-raids. They were sent to the house of an old Professor who lived in the heart of the country, ten miles from the nearest railway station and two miles from the nearest post office. He had no wife and he lived in a very large house with a housekeeper called Mrs. Macready and three servants. (Their names were Ivy, Margaret and Betty, but they do not come into the story much.) He himself was a very old man with shaggy white hair, which grew over most of his face as well as on his head, and they liked him almost at once; but on the first evening when he came out to meet them at the front door he was so odd-looking that Lucy (who was the youngest) was a little afraid of him, and Edmund (who was the next youngest) wanted to laugh and had to keep on pretending he was blowing his nose to hide it. 

This story has an obvious storyteller and is in omniscient POV. The first paragraph is an introduction and gives background, The reader is introduced to four children and various other characters, and we are told the children were evacuated from London because of war. We don't have anything of the plot yet, just this background. I'm not hooked yet but I'll probably give it a page or two to see if something happens.

Does this first line/paragraph hook your attention? If you had never heard of this story, would you buy this book in 2024? Knowing the story, would you change the first line? Tell us in the comments!