Week #47 – One for the Money by Janet Evanovich

Last year on Mondays we had fun with books. This year, we'll look at most of the same books but also some new ones, and see if the first line [or first paragraph] met the goal of a first line which is ==> to hook the reader's attention.

Here are some tips on writing a first line

https://www.masterclass.com/articles/tips-for-writing-the-opening-line-of-your-novel

Week #47 – One for the Money by Janet Evanovich

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One_for_the_Money_(novel)

https://evanovich.com/one-for-the-money/

First published:  August 26, 1994

Here's what the story is about: Stephanie Plum lost her job, her car, her marriage, and almost her apartment. She needs fast cash so asks her cousin Vinnie for a file clerk job at his bail bonds company. That job is filled but he needs a bail bonds agent, no experience necessary. Her first assignment is to find her former boyfriend, now a police detective, wanted for murder.  

First line/paragraph:

There are some men who enter a woman’s life and screw it up forever. Joseph Morelli did this to me—not forever, but periodically.

This story starts in first person POV. We learn the narrator is female and she introduces us to Joseph Morelli, a man who apparently entered her life and screwed it up, “not forever, but periodically.” The tone of voice is friendly, sassy, and revealing. She's about to tell us the story of how Morelli screwed up her life. This is one of my favorite book series, and this opening line definitely has enough intrigue to keep me turning pages.

Does this first line/paragraph hook your attention? If you had never heard of this story, would you buy this book in 2024? Knowing the story, would you change the first line? Tell us in the comments!

Dear O'Abby: Can I use Chat GPT to write a book?

 Dear O'Abby,

I've seen a bunch of stuff recently from authors who claim to have written multiple books in a year using AI and that they are making very good money from them.

As a writer who has spent several years painstakingly writing and editing and polishing my own books, and making about enough to buy one cup of coffee per quarter, I'm wondering if using Chat GPT might be a way to both speed up my output and increase my income.

Are there any issues with using Chat GPT to write a book?  I feel like there are probably pitfalls I haven't considered here...

Kind regards,

No Robot

Dear No Robot,

Technically, yes, you can use Chat GPT to write a book.  It might even turn out okay if you keep refining the prompts you give.  The machine learns from consuming an enormous amount of data from all kinds of sources and if you give it the right prompts and information to start with, it can spit something out that looks and feels like a book.

The problem comes when you try to sell that book.

Because the AI takes material from the internet to "learn" it is likely using intellectual property that belongs to someone else.  Which means you may have issues when it comes to copyrighting your AI generated book.  

There are also rules popping up all over the place about being upfront about what is and isn't AI generated.  When self-publishing through Amazon, you need to indicate whether you used AI to write the book.  I've noticed that this is also something many agents are now asking when you fill out their Query Manager forms too.

But there is a distinction between AI generated content and AI assisted content and I think there are places in the writing process where using a tool like Chat GPT could be useful.  I would never ask it to write the book for me, but it can be helpful with things like suggesting a title or character names.  It can also be helpful with research and even with outlining if you're willing to put in a lot of time and effort.

I've never tried it for editing,  but I believe it can help with that too - at least as a first pass.  It will catch grammar and syntax errors, but a set of real human eyes is still important.  The AI will likely correct things that are not grammatically correct, but are part of your own authorial voice or the voices of your characters.

One place I've found AI to be useful, is in cutting down my synopsis to the various different lengths required for different agents.  My basic synopsis for the novel I'm currently querying is close to three pages long, but some agents only want a one page synopsis, while others are happy with two and another group might want less than 500 words.  The AI generated synopses aren't perfect, but with a few tweaks and polishes, they do the job.

At the end of the day though, writing is an art and machine-generated art is never going to have the heart or the soul or the unique point of view that you write from.  Personally, I write because I love to write.  I love the process of spinning a story from my imagination onto the page and getting under the skin of my characters and discovering who they are alongside them.  It may be more time consuming than plugging a few prompts into a chat-bot and seeing what gets spat out, but it's also way more rewarding and enjoyable.

So, while I might use the odd AI tool to help me along the way, I would certainly never use Chat GPT to write for me.  Why would I deny myself the very real joys of writing?  Even when some days are painful and hard and getting royalty reports can be soul destroying. At the end of the day, writing is something I love to do and even when it's hard, I wouldn't hand my characters to a machine to deal with.  Would you hand your kids to a robot to raise?  No.  I thought not...

Week #46 – The Accidental Tourist by Anne Tyler

Last year on Mondays we had fun with books. This year, we'll look at most of the same books but also some new ones, and see if the first line [or first paragraph] met the goal of a first line which is ==> to hook the reader's attention.

Here are some tips on writing a first line

https://www.masterclass.com/articles/tips-for-writing-the-opening-line-of-your-novel

Week #46 –   The Accidental Tourist by Anne Tyler

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Accidental_Tourist

First published:  August 12, 1985

Here's what the story is about: Travel writer Macon Leary hates travel. He loses his son and his marriage, and becomes increasingly solitary. Then he meets Muriel, an eccentric dog trainer, who upends his life.

First line/paragraph:

They were supposed to stay at the beach a week, but neither of them had the heart for it and they decided to come back early. Macon drove. Sarah sat next to him, leaning her head against the side window. Chips of cloudy sky showed through her tangled brown curls.

This story starts in the third person POV of Macon, who we assume is the protagonist. He and Sarah, possibly his wife, are returning early from a beach trip because “neither of them had the heart for it.” We are in the middle of the plot, and we are already introduced to some intrigue because we are curious why neither had the heart to continue with a beach trip. I would definitely give this story at least a chapter to see if it hooked me.

Does this first line/paragraph hook your attention? If you had never heard of this story, would you buy this book in 2024? Knowing the story, would you change the first line? Tell us in the comments!

O'Abby's November writing prompt

It's that time of year where the seasons are changing and the weather can be unpredictable, even savage.  And weather has a huge effect on us both in terms of our moods and emotions as well as the activities we might do.

This month's prompt is to write a scene that happens outdoors and to then re-write the same scene, but set in a different season with completely different weather.  Think about how the weather conditions change the character's outlook on the events happening around them, and how their actions might be dictated by the weather.

For example, in one of my books there is a scene where my POV character goes out in a blizzard to get wood for the fire and winds up nearly freezing to death when he slips on ice and sprains an ankle and can't get anyone's attention because of the noise of the wind.

If I was to rewrite the same scene, but set in the summer, it would be either a very different scene entirely, or I'd need to find a new way to create danger for my MC so he has the same level of fear for his life - and the people depending on him -  that he has in the existing scene.

Post your scenes in the comments so we can all see them.

I'll be looking forward to seeing what you come up with.

Happy writing!

X O'Abby

Week #44 – The Stand by Stephen King

Last year on Mondays we had fun with books. This year, we'll look at most of the same books but also some new ones, and see if the first line [or first paragraph] met the goal of a first line which is ==> to hook the reader's attention.

Here are some tips on writing a first line

https://www.masterclass.com/articles/tips-for-writing-the-opening-line-of-your-novel

Week #44 –   The Stand by Stephen King

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Stand

First published:  October 3, 1978

Here's what the story is about: Stephen King's longest novel at close to 500,000 words. A post-apocalyptic story. The Department of Defense develops an extremely contagious and lethal strain of influenza, resistant to medications and vaccines, as a biological weapon. It is accidentally released, killing most of the world's population. The book follows people struggling to survive and reestablish a society. 

First line/paragraph:

“Sally.”
A mutter.
“Wake up now, Sally”
A louder mutter: leeme lone.
He shook her harder.
“Wake up. You got to wake up!”
Charlie.
Charlie’s voice. Calling her. For how long?
Sally swam up out of sleep.
First she glanced at the clock on the night table and saw it was quarter past two in the morning. Charlie shouldn’t even be here; he should be on shift. Then she got her first good look at him and something leaped up inside her, some deadly intuition.

This story starts in what appears to be the third person POV of Charlie but then looks like the third person POV of Sally. The story starts in media res, with Sally shaken awake by Charlie. We learn it's 2:15am, Charlie should be at work, he's telling her she HAS to wake up, and something about the way he looks makes her deathly afraid. At this point we don't know if either one of these characters is the protagonist, but we know they are in the middle of something scary. Well, it's Stephen King so that last observation is obvious. I'm NOT a fan of Stephen King [I'm a wimp] so I might be enticed to read the first chapter but probably not more than that. However, if I was a fan of horror stories and/or Stephen King, I'd definitely want to read more. This is a great opening page.

Does this first line/paragraph hook your attention? If you had never heard of this story, would you buy this book in 2024? Knowing the story, would you change the first line? Tell us in the comments!

Dear O'Abby - from the archives: Is Blogging still something I need to do?

I thought I'd bring back this post from almost two years ago because it seems very relevant at this moment.  I have been writing this column here for a number of years now, and have watched the number of people engaging with each post dwindle month by month.

In light of this, and the fact I feel very much like I've covered almost every topic I'm qualified to offer advice on, I'm planning to make November 2024 my final month as O'Abby.  So if you have any burning questions, get them in quick...

Dear O'Abby,

I'm a writer and have been blogging pretty regularly for over 10 years now.  I started because it was THE thing all writers seemed to do and as a baby writer, it felt like I had to if I wanted to be a real writer.  Now, blogs seem so much less prevalent and I'm noticing the number of comments and traffic seems to be slowing to my own blog.  I'm wondering if in 2023 blogging is still necessary for writers? 

Maybe I should spend my time somewhere else?

Kind regards,

Blogged-Out

Dear Blogged-Out,

I hear exactly what you're saying.  Back in the 2010s, every writer seemed to have a blog and there were multiple blogs offering writing advice, competitions, publishing tips and anything else in between. There also seemed to be a far larger number of passionate readers with blogs specifically for book reviews and talking about books than there are now.

Like everything else you do as a writer, blogging is a personal choice.  If you don't enjoy it and struggle to find content, maybe it is time to quit.  But if it is something you enjoy, why stop?  You may not be getting the comments you used to, but I bet you have a handful of loyal followers who enjoy what you post.  You may even consider some of these people friends.

The key to a good blog is consistency, both in when you post and what you post.  If you blog about something you're truly passionate about and write about it in a way only you can, it's far more likely to be successful than if you post stuff because you feel you have to.  

If you're feeling burned out with blogging and struggle to think up content to post, but don't really want to give up entirely, switch up your schedule.  Maybe you post three times a week now - can you drop down to one post per week?  Would your readers care?  Just signal your intentions.  Write a post explaining that in 2023 you're only going to post on Fridays or Tuesdays or whichever day.  

And if you want to change the focus of your blog, signal that too.  Maybe you want to keep up the three posts a week, but rather than being three posts on a single topic, you want to switch one to something else you are interested in.  You may find new people discover your blog when you shift the focus a little, even if it is for just one post a week.

I hope that helps!  Never feel obliged to do something you don't enjoy just because other people are doing it.

X O'Abby

Week #43 – The Hound of the Baskervilles by Arthur Conan Doyle

Last year on Mondays we had fun with books. This year, we'll look at most of the same books but also some new ones, and see if the first line [or first paragraph] met the goal of a first line which is ==> to hook the reader's attention.

Here are some tips on writing a first line

https://www.masterclass.com/articles/tips-for-writing-the-opening-line-of-your-novel

Week #43 –   The Hound of the Baskervilles by Arthur Conan Doyle

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Hound_of_the_Baskervilles

https://www.gutenberg.org/files/2852/2852-h/2852-h.htm

First published:  March 25, 1902

Here's what the story is about: In London, Dr James Mortimer asks for the aid of Sherlock Holmes. He recounts the legend of a curse that has run in the Baskerville family since the time of the English Civil War, when Sir Hugo Baskerville kidnapped a farmer's daughter. When the girl escaped, Hugo made a deal with the devil and pursued her. Hugo's companions found the girl dead of fear and Hugo killed by a demonic hound, which has haunted Dartmoor ever since, causing the premature death of many Baskerville heirs. 

First line/paragraph:

Mr. Sherlock Holmes, who was usually very late in the mornings, save upon those not infrequent occasions when he was up all night, was seated at the breakfast table. I stood upon the hearth-rug and picked up the stick which our visitor had left behind him the night before. It was a fine, thick piece of wood, bulbous-headed, of the sort which is known as a “Penang lawyer.” Just under the head was a broad silver band nearly an inch across. “To James Mortimer, M.R.C.S., from his friends of the C.C.H.,” was engraved upon it, with the date “1884.” It was just such a stick as the old-fashioned family practitioner used to carry—dignified, solid, and reassuring. 

“Well, Watson, what do you make of it?” 

Holmes was sitting with his back to me, and I had given him no sign of my occupation.

This story starts in first person POV, with the narrator introduced as “Watson”. The setting is Holmes sitting at the breakfast table, which is unusual because he's usually a late riser,  with Watson standing on a hearth rug and inspecting a walking stick left by a visitor. The story starts in media res. Holmes asks Watson what he can learn by examining the walking stick, which introduces that this most likely is a detective story. I'm a fan of detective stories and this presents a puzzle in the first paragraph. What does Watson [and Holmes] learn simply by examining a walking stick? I'm sufficiently curious to read the first chapter.

Does this first line/paragraph hook your attention? If you had never heard of this story, would you buy this book in 2024? Knowing the story, would you change the first line? Tell us in the comments!

Dear O'Abby: How do I write good dialogue? - From the archives

Variations of this question have come up a few times in the last couple of weeks, so O'Abby trawled through the archives and found a previous column that answers them.

Dear O'Abby,

My critique group recently told me they feel like the dialogue in my stories is letting my writing down.  They say it's stilted and doesn't feel realistic.  Do you have any tips on how to write dialogue that feels natural and smooth?

Sincerely,

Scriptless

Dear Scriptless,

I think the best tool for writing natural sounding dialogue is to read your scenes aloud.  You'll hear when it doesn't ring true.  People are often sloppy when they speak and use a lot of contractions and slang terms, so if you write dialogue using formal written English, it won't feel realistic.

Using too many dialogue tags, especially things other than "said" can also make your dialogue feel unrealistic and stilted.  Save expressive tags like "yelled", "whispered", "howled" or anything else for moments when they are really needed.  The rest of the time, "said" is fine.

And don't even use "said" too often.  A lot of the time you can indicate who is speaking in a scene through action instead of using a tag.

"I'm going now," Jim said.

Sally didn't look at him. "So go, then."

When there are only two people speaking in a scene, there is no need to break up the flow of dialogue with any tags - they can just converse.  I suggest throwing a bit of action in every few lines to keep the reader grounded in who is talking and to keep the scene from reading like a script.  

And remember.  Dialogue shouldn't be used to provide exposition.  It should drive the story forward, always, give valuable character insights and needs to fit the character speaking it.  Everyone has slightly different ways of talking, and one way to make your characters distinct is through their dialogue.  Maybe one of your characters has a favourite word they use often or incorrectly.  Maybe one doesn't ever swear and has silly phrases she uses instead of profanity.

Dialogue is fun and incredibly important to make your characters sing off the page.  So have fun with it!

X O'Abby

Week #42 – Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift

Last year on Mondays we had fun with books. This year, we'll look at most of the same books but also some new ones, and see if the first line [or first paragraph] met the goal of a first line which is ==> to hook the reader's attention.

Here are some tips on writing a first line

https://www.masterclass.com/articles/tips-for-writing-the-opening-line-of-your-novel

Week #42 –  Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gulliver%27s_Travels

https://www.gutenberg.org/files/829/829-h/829-h.htm

First published:  October 28, 1726

Here's what the story is about: Gulliver's Travels, or Travels into Several Remote Nations of the World. In Four Parts. By Lemuel Gulliver, First a Surgeon, and then a Captain of Several Ships is a satire, a parody of the popular travel novel. It mocks English customs and the politics of the day. Gulliver has four adventures, (1) he travels to Lilliput where the inhabitants are only 6” tall, (2) he travels to Brobdingnag where the inhabitants are giants, (3) he travels to Laputa where the inhabitants have great learning but no practical application, and (4) he travels to the land of the Houyhnhnms, a race of intelligent horses who are more rational and communal than the humanoid race called Yahoos.

First line/paragraph:

THE PUBLISHER TO THE READER.
The author of these Travels, Mr. Lemuel Gulliver, is my ancient and intimate friend; there is likewise some relation between us on the mother’s side. About three years ago, Mr. Gulliver growing weary of the concourse of curious people coming to him at his house in Redriff, made a small purchase of land, with a convenient house, near Newark, in Nottinghamshire, his native country; where he now lives retired, yet in good esteem among his neighbours.

This story starts with a letter from publisher to reader, and a letter from Captain Gulliver to his cousin. The story then starts. These introductory parts are not common in modern stories. Here, the reader is introduced to the main character by his “ancient and intimate friend”. The book is in first person POV, but that first person in the first two parts is different from the main character's first person which begins in the third part. The tone is friendly and familiar, with a brief introduction to the initial setting, and would convince me to skim through the first two parts and give the beginning of the main story a chance.

Does this first line/paragraph hook your attention? If you had never heard of this story, would you buy this book in 2024? Knowing the story, would you change the first line? Tell us in the comments!

Dear O'Abby: What's a hook and do I need them?

 Dear O'Abby,

My crit group keeps saying the same thing about my chapters: there's no hook.  

I'm not sure what they mean by this or why they seem to think I need one in every single chapter.

Is this something you know anything about?  I'd be grateful for any clarification.

Kind regards,

Hookless

Dear Hookless,

A hook is a device in a book that makes the reader want to keep reading.  The first line should act as a hook, drawing the reader in and making them want to read more.

But in the context you've given, around each chapter needing a hook, I'm thinking your crit group is talking about having a good hook at the end of each chapter to make the reader want to keep going.  Think about it like a cliff hanger.  You want to end each chapter with a tantalising reveal about something, a piece of action that leaves your character(s) in peril or a piece of information that changes things for the characters.

Obviously your book isn't going to be pitched at a consistent level of tension throughout, so the hooks at the end of each chapter don't need to be huge every time. It would be too exhausting if every chapter ended on the same kind of note!  There just needs to be a reason for the reader to want to turn the page and keep reading rather than putting the book down.

Hopefully that helps?

XXX O'Abby

Week #42 – Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad

Last year on Mondays we had fun with books. This year, we'll look at most of the same books but also some new ones, and see if the first line [or first paragraph] met the goal of a first line which is ==> to hook the reader's attention.

Here are some tips on writing a first line

https://www.masterclass.com/articles/tips-for-writing-the-opening-line-of-your-novel

Week #42 –  Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heart_of_Darkness

https://www.gutenberg.org/files/219/219-h/219-h.htm

First published:  As a serial 1899, as a book in 1902

Here's what the story is about: Sailor Charles Marlow, captain of a river steamboat for a Belgian ivory trade company, journeys up the Congo River to meet Kurtz, an ivory trader. Marlow encounters inefficiency and brutality in the Company’s stations. The native Africans have been forced into the Company’s service and exploited.

First line/paragraph:

The Nellie, a cruising yawl, swung to her anchor without a flutter of the sails, and was at rest. The flood had made, the wind was nearly calm, and being bound down the river, the only thing for it was to come to and wait for the turn of the tide.

This paragraph does not give us a hint of POV, but by the second paragraph it is clearly in first person POV. The setting is on a boat and apparently on a river. We don't know anything about the narrator/character at this point, except that he/she is on a boat stopped on a river. There is the hint of a plot based on travel along a river. I'd probably give this a few pages to see if it grabbed my interest.

Does this first line/paragraph hook your attention? If you had never heard of this story, would you buy this book in 2024? Knowing the story, would you change the first line? Tell us in the comments!

O'Abby's October writing prompt

One of things I try to do in my writing is to make sure that anything that is described in a scene is there for a purpose, either because it's going to be important to the plot or because it gives you information about the characters.

So for this month's prompt, I'd like you to write a description of a room which helps us to understand more about the person who lives in it.  To make it more challenging, don't tell us who the character is - let the description do that work for you.

Post your writing in the comments so we can all see it.

I'll look forward to seeing what you come up with.  Happy writing!

X O'Abby

Week #41 – War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy

Last year on Mondays we had fun with books. This year, we'll look at most of the same books but also some new ones, and see if the first line [or first paragraph] met the goal of a first line which is ==> to hook the reader's attention.

Here are some tips on writing a first line

https://www.masterclass.com/articles/tips-for-writing-the-opening-line-of-your-novel

Week #41 – War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_and_Peace

https://www.gutenberg.org/files/2600/2600-h/2600-h.htm

First published:  As a serial 1865-1867, as a book in 1869

Here's what the story is about: Set in Russia during the Napoleonic Wars beginning in 1812, the book mixes fiction with chapters discussing history and philosophy. It details the French invasion of Russia and its aftermath through narratives following five Russian aristocratic families. It is 587,287 words.

First line/paragraph:

“Well, Prince, so Genoa and Lucca are now just family estates of the Buonapartes. But I warn you, if you don’t tell me that this means war, if you still try to defend the infamies and horrors perpetrated by that Antichrist—I really believe he is Antichrist—I will have nothing more to do with you and you are no longer my friend, no longer my ‘faithful slave,’ as you call yourself! But how do you do? I see I have frightened you—sit down and tell me all the news.”

It was in July, 1805, and the speaker was the well-known Anna Pávlovna Schérer, maid of honor and favorite of the Empress Márya Fëdorovna. With these words she greeted Prince Vasíli Kurágin, a man of high rank and importance, who was the first to arrive at her reception. Anna Pávlovna had had a cough for some days. She was, as she said, suffering from la grippe; grippe being then a new word in St. Petersburg, used only by the elite.

This appears to be omniscient POV. The story begins with dialogue, but the reader is only introduced to who is speaking in the second paragraph. To me, this is a good example of why not to start with an entire paragraph of dialogue. As a reader, I have no idea who this is, or where they are, or what's going on, or much of anything. I'm dangling, even past the second paragraph when I get some introduction. Nothing grabs me and keeps my interest. Unless I had a reason to continue reading [like it was a school assignment lol], I would not continue.

Does this first line/paragraph hook your attention? If you had never heard of this story, would you buy this book in 2024? Knowing the story, would you change the first line? Tell us in the comments!

Dear O'Abby: Tell me more about book bans

 Dear O'Abby,

I see that it was recently banned book week and I'm a little confused.  My local bookstore had a whole shelf-load of banned books on display, but surely, if they're banned, they shouldn't be available?  And most of the books on that shelf are things I've read!

So what's the deal with banned books?  Can you explain it to me?

Best wishes,

Confused Reader

Dear Confused Reader,

You are correct that last week was Banned Book Week.  Banned books are not necessarily banned everywhere, but have been removed from school and other libraries in certain places.  Running since 1982, the week is designed to highlight titles that have been banned or challenged.

The titles on the list have shifted and changed over the years, especially in recent years where the majority of books on the list are titles that deal with LGBTQIA+ content.  In the past, profanity, sex and drugs were the main reason books were banned or challenged.

Florida seems to be the place where book banning seems to be the most intense at the moment, with titles like The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, The Diary of Anne Frank and books by Judy Blume, Stephen King and many others being removed from libraries.  This has been made possible by a State law that means books have to be immediately removed if anyone suggests they are harmful and the process to get them back on shelves is arduous.  This has made it possible for a small number of parents to have an outsized influence on the books available to readers.  Including making some absolute classic pieces of literature unavailable to readers.

Book bans are incredibly harmful in that limiting access to books narrows the range of voices and experiences readers, and particularly young readers, have access to. For many young people, reading about people whose experiences and feelings match their own can play a huge part in understanding and accepting themselves and finding their place in the world.  

Publishers of these books will fight for them, but with the law in favor of those calling them out as inappropriate, and the measures to get them reinstated being both difficult and expensive, many of these titles will remain off shelves in some school and public libraries into the future.  Which in my opinion, is incredibly wrong.

You can find a list of the top 10 most challenge books of the year here. 

X O'Abby

Week #40 – The Time Machine by HG Wells

Last year on Mondays we had fun with books. This year, we'll look at most of the same books but also some new ones, and see if the first line [or first paragraph] met the goal of a first line which is ==> to hook the reader's attention.

Here are some tips on writing a first line

https://www.masterclass.com/articles/tips-for-writing-the-opening-line-of-your-novel

Week #40 –  The Time Machine by HG Wells

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Time_Machine

https://www.gutenberg.org/cache/epub/35/pg35-images.html

First published: May 7, 1895

Here's what the story is about: A scientist builds a time machine and travels to the year 802,701. He finds that humanity has evolved into two races: the childlike Eloi and the savage Morlocks. His machine disappears, so he explores the future world to find it.  

First line/paragraph:

The Time Traveller (for so it will be convenient to speak of him) was expounding a recondite matter to us. His pale grey eyes shone and twinkled, and his usually pale face was flushed and animated. The fire burnt brightly, and the soft radiance of the incandescent lights in the lilies of silver caught the bubbles that flashed and passed in our glasses. Our chairs, being his patents, embraced and caressed us rather than submitted to be sat upon, and there was that luxurious after-dinner atmosphere, when thought runs gracefully free of the trammels of precision. And he put it to us in this way—marking the points with a lean forefinger—as we sat and lazily admired his earnestness over this new paradox (as we thought it) and his fecundity.

This appears to be omniscient POV. The story begins with a description of The Time Traveller, presumably the main character, and the setting. This was apparently a common beginning to books written in this time period. A first paragraph of entirely description without even a hint of plot usually won't capture my attention, but since I know the basic premise of the story and I know it was written so long ago, I would probably give it a chapter or so, to see if it caught my interest.

Does this first line/paragraph hook your attention? If you had never heard of this story, would you buy this book in 2024? Knowing the story, would you change the first line? Tell us in the comments!

Dear O'Abby: What is hybrid publishing? (from the archives)

I've been seeing a few questions cycling through my in box that I've already answered in the past, so if you're reading and think you may have seen this before, you're not wrong! But if I answered a question more than two years ago, and someone asks the same thing again, I feel like it's okay to re-post something from the archives if the advice has remained largely the same...

Dear O'Abby,

I've completed a novel I'm pretty happy with.  My readers seem to like it and I feel like it's in a pretty good place to begin the publishing journey.  I've written other books in the past, queried them (unsuccessfully) and even ventured into self-publishing.  

Since I was last considering publication, there seems to be a new thing called "hybrid" publishing around and I'm not entirely sure what this is.  Can you illuminate me? Is this just a new name for vanity publishing? 

Thanks so much!

Truly,

OldSkool

Dear OldSkool,

Good question!  Hybrid publishing is a relatively recent model which sits somewhere between self-publishing and traditional publishing.  

Under this model the author will still cover the majority of costs for the publication of the book, much like self-publishing.  The advantages are that a hybrid publisher will have distribution networks a self-published author probably doesn't have and will be able to get the book into bookstores.

The publisher will likely have their own imprints and your book would be published under one of these and receive its ISBN from the publisher.  

To offset the investment you put into the publishing of your book, royalty rates with hybrid publishers tend to be higher than traditional publishing.  But the publisher will still take a cut that would not be taken out if you self-published.

Be aware that even though you may be willing to pay a hybrid publisher, they may not accept your book.  Like all businesses, hybrid publishers need to focus on books that will make money and enhance their reputation, so they are likely to focus their time and energy on authors whose work is likely to sell. 

Just like with small presses, I suggest you do through research before submitting to a hybrid publisher.  If they don't have access to better distribution tools than you would have as a self-published author, there is little point. There may be some editorial work done on your book, but as a self-publisher you probably already have an editor you work with, or could find one whose fees fit your budget.

You also need to consider if you can afford to pay for the print run.  As a hybrid author your books will likely be sent to bookstores on consignment, and if they don't sell, you may be saddled with a print run that costs thousands of dollars that doesn't return much to you.  You may also lose control of some decision making about your book like pricing, where it is sold and even editorial matters.

At the end of the day, the decision is yours.  While it may be exciting to have your book accepted by a publisher and to have your name next to theirs on the cover, you will still be paying to produce the book.  Unless the publisher has a strong track record of success in publishing and distributing its books, the value of giving up a percentage of royalties may be limited.

Hope that helps and good luck with your publishing journey!  

X O'Abby

Week #39 – The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson

Last year on Mondays we had fun with books. This year, we'll look at most of the same books but also some new ones, and see if the first line [or first paragraph] met the goal of a first line which is ==> to hook the reader's attention.

Here are some tips on writing a first line

https://www.masterclass.com/articles/tips-for-writing-the-opening-line-of-your-novel

Week #39 –    The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strange_Case_of_Dr_Jekyll_and_Mr_Hyde

https://www.gutenberg.org/files/43/43-h/43-h.htm

First published: January 5, 1886

Here's what the story is about: Dr Jekyll is a kind, well-respected, and intelligent scientist who experiments with the darker side of science. He transforms himself into Mr Hyde - his evil alter ego. 

First line/paragraph:

Mr. Utterson the lawyer was a man of a rugged countenance that was never lighted by a smile; cold, scanty and embarrassed in discourse; backward in sentiment; lean, long, dusty, dreary and yet somehow lovable. At friendly meetings, and when the wine was to his taste, something eminently human beaconed from his eye; something indeed which never found its way into his talk, but which spoke not only in these silent symbols of the after-dinner face, but more often and loudly in the acts of his life. He was austere with himself; drank gin when he was alone, to mortify a taste for vintages; and though he enjoyed the theatre, had not crossed the doors of one for twenty years. But he had an approved tolerance for others; sometimes wondering, almost with envy, at the high pressure of spirits involved in their misdeeds; and in any extremity inclined to help rather than to reprove. “I incline to Cain’s heresy,” he used to say quaintly: “I let my brother go to the devil in his own way.” In this character, it was frequently his fortune to be the last reputable acquaintance and the last good influence in the lives of downgoing men. And to such as these, so long as they came about his chambers, he never marked a shade of change in his demeanour.

This appears to be omniscient POV. The story begins with a description of Mr. Utterson, a lawyer. The description is rather bleak but also includes “yet somehow lovable” which sets up a contrast which may entice me to read a few paragraphs. Overall though, this first paragraph is entirely description without even a hint of plot so I probably would not be inclined to read more.

Does this first line/paragraph hook your attention? If you had never heard of this story, would you buy this book in 2024? Knowing the story, would you change the first line? Tell us in the comments!

Dear O'Abby: Should I discount my books

 Dear O'Abby,

Lots of people have told me that the reason I'm not selling more books is because I don't discount them, but it seems counter-intuitive to discount something when you want to make money from them.  As it is, I'm selling my novels at $3.99, which seems incredibly cheap to me.  Do I really need to discount them further to sell more?

Best wishes,

Discountless

Dear Discountless,

I understand that when you're selling books at an already low rate, the idea of discounting further is kind of appalling.  But there are reasons to do it.  

Given the price-point you've mentioned, I'm assuming you're referring to e-books here, not print, so I'll focus on e-book discounts in this newsletter. If you're interested in print discounts, let me know in the comments and I'll cover that in a future post.  I'm also assuming from your email that you have more than one book published.

When you have a new book out, especially if it's the second, third or subsequent book in a series, it is often a good idea to discount the earlier books just ahead of publication to encourage people to start reading the series.  If it's compelling enough, they'll be gagging for the next installment and more than willing to pay full price for the new one just to find out what happens next.

If you don't write series, offering a discount on your new title can help sell that new book and generate reviews which are so, so valuable in getting your work discovered by readers.  None of these discounts need to be long-term - you can discount for a period, then bump the price back up to normal.

It can also be great for sales to offer a discount when you're doing a campaign.  If people see your ads, but don't know you as an author, they are more likely to take a punt on a book if it's .99c than $3.99.  Then, if they like it, they're likely not to balk at the full price for other books in your catalogue. 

Other times it might be worth offering a discounted price is if you have a book that takes place during a particular time - say, Christmas.  Offering a discount over that period can help generate sales.  Or if your book is set against the high octane world behind the scenes of an election campaign, it is probably worth offering a discount over the election period to capitalise on the current event.  I would be cautious about this when it comes to some topics though...  Be sensitive.  Just because a school shooting or horrific natural disaster is in the news, doesn't mean it's the time to try and sell your book about that subject.  You could look ghoulish or risk traumatising people.

On the whole, discounting is just one of the many tools you have to sell books, and it might take time to figure out exactly when works best of you to use it to its best advantage.  Don't be afraid to experiment.  even if discounting only results in a handful more sales, if those readers love our work, they're likely to become loyal to you and may tell others about your books.  It all helps...

X O'Abby

Week #38 – The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

Last year on Mondays we had fun with books. This year, we'll look at most of the same books but also some new ones, and see if the first line [or first paragraph] met the goal of a first line which is ==> to hook the reader's attention.

Here are some tips on writing a first line

https://www.masterclass.com/articles/tips-for-writing-the-opening-line-of-your-novel

Week #38 – The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Book_Thief

First published: September 1, 2005

Here's what the story is about: Liesel Meminger is a 9-year-old German girl living with foster parents who conceal a Jewish man during World War II. Her foster father helps Liesel learn to read and write, and she begins to steal books that the politicians are seeking to destroy. The story is narrated by Death.

First line/paragraph:

DEATH AND CHOCOLATE

First the colors.
Then the humans.
That's usually how I see things.
Or at least, how I try.

***HERE IS A SMALL FACT***
You are going to die.

I am in all truthfulness attempting to be cheerful about this whole topic, though most people find themselves hindered in believing me, no matter my protestations. Please, trust me. I most definitely can be cheerful. I can be amiable. Agreeable. Affable. And that's only the A's. Just don't ask me to be nice. Nice has nothing to do with me.

This is first person POV but the narrator is unusual. He references “the humans” so we know he is apparently not human. Then he goes abruptly into “you are going to die” and is attempting to be cheerful about the topic [but not nice]. He's also humorous, saying he can be cheerful, amiable, agreeable, affable, “and that's only the A's”. But we soon learn the narrator is Death. Nothing about the characters or plot yet, but I'm sufficiently interested in this unusual narrator that I would give it a few pages to see if it hooked me.

Does this first line/paragraph hook your attention? If you had never heard of this story, would you buy this book in 2024? Knowing the story, would you change the first line? Tell us in the comments!

Dear O'Abby: How do I get my self-published book into bookstores?

 Dear O'Abby,

I have self-published a series of fantasy novels and have had pretty good online sales across a variety of online retailers.  But it has always been my dream to have a book on shelves at a bricks-and-mortar bookstore, and I'm not sure how to make this happen.

Do you have any insight how I could do this, even on a small scale?

Thanks so much!

Best,

Unshelved

Dear Unshelved,

I think being on library and bookstore shelves is every writer's dream, so I completely understand.  Unfortunately, it isn't necessarily the easiest thing in the world, and can end up being very uneconomic.  In my case, I end up losing around $10 on every physical book I sell in a physical bookstore, meaning it's not economically sustainable for me to do. But then, I live in New Zealand so the freight costs to get books to me are substantially more than they might be if you live closer to the place your books are printed.  But something to bear in mind.

The other thing to think about is the fact a bookstore needs to make a profit, so they are likely to take a percentage of the sale price (usually 25%-35%).  Which means that to just break even on the cost of producing the book, you're going to need to mark up the price you sell it to booksellers. As they will probably mark it up again to get the profit margin they need to get, you need to think about the customer facing price and whether it's realistic for consumers.  Again, in my case, to make any money out of a bookstore sale, my books would need to sell at around NZ$35-$40.  Which is more than a typical YA paperback would sell for at a local bookstore.

Once you've done your budgeting and figured out whether selling at stores is actually worth it, the easiest first step is to go to bookstores in your local area (or phone first and make an appointment with the owner/book buyer) to pitch your book.  I suggest approaching a store that specializes in your genre first, if there is one in your local area.  It will be easier to get a romance novel into a store that focuses on romance than to get a romance into a more general bookstore.

Bookstores usually take books from self-pubbed authors on consignment, meaning you will only get paid for the book once it has been sold.  If the book doesn't sell the copies you give the store in a certain time period, it's likely the store will return them to you.

Another option is to use a book distributor like IngramSpark which is a print-on-demand company and means you don't need to invest in a massive print run up front. It's important to allow returns when setting up distribution through a system like this - stores are unlikely to buy copies if they can't return them if they don't sell.

And like all things, the more publicity and marketing you put behind your book, the more likely it is to get picked up by stores.  Like all businesses, bookstores need to make money, and they don't make money by having books sitting on their shelves - they need to fly out the door.  So create demand for the book.  If people are asking for it, booksellers are more likely to stock it.  And if the copies they have fly off the shelves, then they're more likely to re-order.

Hope that's helpful!

X O'Abby