Week #43 – The Hound of the Baskervilles by Arthur Conan Doyle

Last year on Mondays we had fun with books. This year, we'll look at most of the same books but also some new ones, and see if the first line [or first paragraph] met the goal of a first line which is ==> to hook the reader's attention.

Here are some tips on writing a first line

https://www.masterclass.com/articles/tips-for-writing-the-opening-line-of-your-novel

Week #43 –   The Hound of the Baskervilles by Arthur Conan Doyle

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Hound_of_the_Baskervilles

https://www.gutenberg.org/files/2852/2852-h/2852-h.htm

First published:  March 25, 1902

Here's what the story is about: In London, Dr James Mortimer asks for the aid of Sherlock Holmes. He recounts the legend of a curse that has run in the Baskerville family since the time of the English Civil War, when Sir Hugo Baskerville kidnapped a farmer's daughter. When the girl escaped, Hugo made a deal with the devil and pursued her. Hugo's companions found the girl dead of fear and Hugo killed by a demonic hound, which has haunted Dartmoor ever since, causing the premature death of many Baskerville heirs. 

First line/paragraph:

Mr. Sherlock Holmes, who was usually very late in the mornings, save upon those not infrequent occasions when he was up all night, was seated at the breakfast table. I stood upon the hearth-rug and picked up the stick which our visitor had left behind him the night before. It was a fine, thick piece of wood, bulbous-headed, of the sort which is known as a “Penang lawyer.” Just under the head was a broad silver band nearly an inch across. “To James Mortimer, M.R.C.S., from his friends of the C.C.H.,” was engraved upon it, with the date “1884.” It was just such a stick as the old-fashioned family practitioner used to carry—dignified, solid, and reassuring. 

“Well, Watson, what do you make of it?” 

Holmes was sitting with his back to me, and I had given him no sign of my occupation.

This story starts in first person POV, with the narrator introduced as “Watson”. The setting is Holmes sitting at the breakfast table, which is unusual because he's usually a late riser,  with Watson standing on a hearth rug and inspecting a walking stick left by a visitor. The story starts in media res. Holmes asks Watson what he can learn by examining the walking stick, which introduces that this most likely is a detective story. I'm a fan of detective stories and this presents a puzzle in the first paragraph. What does Watson [and Holmes] learn simply by examining a walking stick? I'm sufficiently curious to read the first chapter.

Does this first line/paragraph hook your attention? If you had never heard of this story, would you buy this book in 2024? Knowing the story, would you change the first line? Tell us in the comments!

Dear O'Abby: How do I write good dialogue? - From the archives

Variations of this question have come up a few times in the last couple of weeks, so O'Abby trawled through the archives and found a previous column that answers them.

Dear O'Abby,

My critique group recently told me they feel like the dialogue in my stories is letting my writing down.  They say it's stilted and doesn't feel realistic.  Do you have any tips on how to write dialogue that feels natural and smooth?

Sincerely,

Scriptless

Dear Scriptless,

I think the best tool for writing natural sounding dialogue is to read your scenes aloud.  You'll hear when it doesn't ring true.  People are often sloppy when they speak and use a lot of contractions and slang terms, so if you write dialogue using formal written English, it won't feel realistic.

Using too many dialogue tags, especially things other than "said" can also make your dialogue feel unrealistic and stilted.  Save expressive tags like "yelled", "whispered", "howled" or anything else for moments when they are really needed.  The rest of the time, "said" is fine.

And don't even use "said" too often.  A lot of the time you can indicate who is speaking in a scene through action instead of using a tag.

"I'm going now," Jim said.

Sally didn't look at him. "So go, then."

When there are only two people speaking in a scene, there is no need to break up the flow of dialogue with any tags - they can just converse.  I suggest throwing a bit of action in every few lines to keep the reader grounded in who is talking and to keep the scene from reading like a script.  

And remember.  Dialogue shouldn't be used to provide exposition.  It should drive the story forward, always, give valuable character insights and needs to fit the character speaking it.  Everyone has slightly different ways of talking, and one way to make your characters distinct is through their dialogue.  Maybe one of your characters has a favourite word they use often or incorrectly.  Maybe one doesn't ever swear and has silly phrases she uses instead of profanity.

Dialogue is fun and incredibly important to make your characters sing off the page.  So have fun with it!

X O'Abby

Week #42 – Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift

Last year on Mondays we had fun with books. This year, we'll look at most of the same books but also some new ones, and see if the first line [or first paragraph] met the goal of a first line which is ==> to hook the reader's attention.

Here are some tips on writing a first line

https://www.masterclass.com/articles/tips-for-writing-the-opening-line-of-your-novel

Week #42 –  Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gulliver%27s_Travels

https://www.gutenberg.org/files/829/829-h/829-h.htm

First published:  October 28, 1726

Here's what the story is about: Gulliver's Travels, or Travels into Several Remote Nations of the World. In Four Parts. By Lemuel Gulliver, First a Surgeon, and then a Captain of Several Ships is a satire, a parody of the popular travel novel. It mocks English customs and the politics of the day. Gulliver has four adventures, (1) he travels to Lilliput where the inhabitants are only 6” tall, (2) he travels to Brobdingnag where the inhabitants are giants, (3) he travels to Laputa where the inhabitants have great learning but no practical application, and (4) he travels to the land of the Houyhnhnms, a race of intelligent horses who are more rational and communal than the humanoid race called Yahoos.

First line/paragraph:

THE PUBLISHER TO THE READER.
The author of these Travels, Mr. Lemuel Gulliver, is my ancient and intimate friend; there is likewise some relation between us on the mother’s side. About three years ago, Mr. Gulliver growing weary of the concourse of curious people coming to him at his house in Redriff, made a small purchase of land, with a convenient house, near Newark, in Nottinghamshire, his native country; where he now lives retired, yet in good esteem among his neighbours.

This story starts with a letter from publisher to reader, and a letter from Captain Gulliver to his cousin. The story then starts. These introductory parts are not common in modern stories. Here, the reader is introduced to the main character by his “ancient and intimate friend”. The book is in first person POV, but that first person in the first two parts is different from the main character's first person which begins in the third part. The tone is friendly and familiar, with a brief introduction to the initial setting, and would convince me to skim through the first two parts and give the beginning of the main story a chance.

Does this first line/paragraph hook your attention? If you had never heard of this story, would you buy this book in 2024? Knowing the story, would you change the first line? Tell us in the comments!

Dear O'Abby: What's a hook and do I need them?

 Dear O'Abby,

My crit group keeps saying the same thing about my chapters: there's no hook.  

I'm not sure what they mean by this or why they seem to think I need one in every single chapter.

Is this something you know anything about?  I'd be grateful for any clarification.

Kind regards,

Hookless

Dear Hookless,

A hook is a device in a book that makes the reader want to keep reading.  The first line should act as a hook, drawing the reader in and making them want to read more.

But in the context you've given, around each chapter needing a hook, I'm thinking your crit group is talking about having a good hook at the end of each chapter to make the reader want to keep going.  Think about it like a cliff hanger.  You want to end each chapter with a tantalising reveal about something, a piece of action that leaves your character(s) in peril or a piece of information that changes things for the characters.

Obviously your book isn't going to be pitched at a consistent level of tension throughout, so the hooks at the end of each chapter don't need to be huge every time. It would be too exhausting if every chapter ended on the same kind of note!  There just needs to be a reason for the reader to want to turn the page and keep reading rather than putting the book down.

Hopefully that helps?

XXX O'Abby

Week #42 – Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad

Last year on Mondays we had fun with books. This year, we'll look at most of the same books but also some new ones, and see if the first line [or first paragraph] met the goal of a first line which is ==> to hook the reader's attention.

Here are some tips on writing a first line

https://www.masterclass.com/articles/tips-for-writing-the-opening-line-of-your-novel

Week #42 –  Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heart_of_Darkness

https://www.gutenberg.org/files/219/219-h/219-h.htm

First published:  As a serial 1899, as a book in 1902

Here's what the story is about: Sailor Charles Marlow, captain of a river steamboat for a Belgian ivory trade company, journeys up the Congo River to meet Kurtz, an ivory trader. Marlow encounters inefficiency and brutality in the Company’s stations. The native Africans have been forced into the Company’s service and exploited.

First line/paragraph:

The Nellie, a cruising yawl, swung to her anchor without a flutter of the sails, and was at rest. The flood had made, the wind was nearly calm, and being bound down the river, the only thing for it was to come to and wait for the turn of the tide.

This paragraph does not give us a hint of POV, but by the second paragraph it is clearly in first person POV. The setting is on a boat and apparently on a river. We don't know anything about the narrator/character at this point, except that he/she is on a boat stopped on a river. There is the hint of a plot based on travel along a river. I'd probably give this a few pages to see if it grabbed my interest.

Does this first line/paragraph hook your attention? If you had never heard of this story, would you buy this book in 2024? Knowing the story, would you change the first line? Tell us in the comments!

O'Abby's October writing prompt

One of things I try to do in my writing is to make sure that anything that is described in a scene is there for a purpose, either because it's going to be important to the plot or because it gives you information about the characters.

So for this month's prompt, I'd like you to write a description of a room which helps us to understand more about the person who lives in it.  To make it more challenging, don't tell us who the character is - let the description do that work for you.

Post your writing in the comments so we can all see it.

I'll look forward to seeing what you come up with.  Happy writing!

X O'Abby

Week #41 – War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy

Last year on Mondays we had fun with books. This year, we'll look at most of the same books but also some new ones, and see if the first line [or first paragraph] met the goal of a first line which is ==> to hook the reader's attention.

Here are some tips on writing a first line

https://www.masterclass.com/articles/tips-for-writing-the-opening-line-of-your-novel

Week #41 – War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_and_Peace

https://www.gutenberg.org/files/2600/2600-h/2600-h.htm

First published:  As a serial 1865-1867, as a book in 1869

Here's what the story is about: Set in Russia during the Napoleonic Wars beginning in 1812, the book mixes fiction with chapters discussing history and philosophy. It details the French invasion of Russia and its aftermath through narratives following five Russian aristocratic families. It is 587,287 words.

First line/paragraph:

“Well, Prince, so Genoa and Lucca are now just family estates of the Buonapartes. But I warn you, if you don’t tell me that this means war, if you still try to defend the infamies and horrors perpetrated by that Antichrist—I really believe he is Antichrist—I will have nothing more to do with you and you are no longer my friend, no longer my ‘faithful slave,’ as you call yourself! But how do you do? I see I have frightened you—sit down and tell me all the news.”

It was in July, 1805, and the speaker was the well-known Anna Pávlovna Schérer, maid of honor and favorite of the Empress Márya Fëdorovna. With these words she greeted Prince Vasíli Kurágin, a man of high rank and importance, who was the first to arrive at her reception. Anna Pávlovna had had a cough for some days. She was, as she said, suffering from la grippe; grippe being then a new word in St. Petersburg, used only by the elite.

This appears to be omniscient POV. The story begins with dialogue, but the reader is only introduced to who is speaking in the second paragraph. To me, this is a good example of why not to start with an entire paragraph of dialogue. As a reader, I have no idea who this is, or where they are, or what's going on, or much of anything. I'm dangling, even past the second paragraph when I get some introduction. Nothing grabs me and keeps my interest. Unless I had a reason to continue reading [like it was a school assignment lol], I would not continue.

Does this first line/paragraph hook your attention? If you had never heard of this story, would you buy this book in 2024? Knowing the story, would you change the first line? Tell us in the comments!

Dear O'Abby: Tell me more about book bans

 Dear O'Abby,

I see that it was recently banned book week and I'm a little confused.  My local bookstore had a whole shelf-load of banned books on display, but surely, if they're banned, they shouldn't be available?  And most of the books on that shelf are things I've read!

So what's the deal with banned books?  Can you explain it to me?

Best wishes,

Confused Reader

Dear Confused Reader,

You are correct that last week was Banned Book Week.  Banned books are not necessarily banned everywhere, but have been removed from school and other libraries in certain places.  Running since 1982, the week is designed to highlight titles that have been banned or challenged.

The titles on the list have shifted and changed over the years, especially in recent years where the majority of books on the list are titles that deal with LGBTQIA+ content.  In the past, profanity, sex and drugs were the main reason books were banned or challenged.

Florida seems to be the place where book banning seems to be the most intense at the moment, with titles like The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, The Diary of Anne Frank and books by Judy Blume, Stephen King and many others being removed from libraries.  This has been made possible by a State law that means books have to be immediately removed if anyone suggests they are harmful and the process to get them back on shelves is arduous.  This has made it possible for a small number of parents to have an outsized influence on the books available to readers.  Including making some absolute classic pieces of literature unavailable to readers.

Book bans are incredibly harmful in that limiting access to books narrows the range of voices and experiences readers, and particularly young readers, have access to. For many young people, reading about people whose experiences and feelings match their own can play a huge part in understanding and accepting themselves and finding their place in the world.  

Publishers of these books will fight for them, but with the law in favor of those calling them out as inappropriate, and the measures to get them reinstated being both difficult and expensive, many of these titles will remain off shelves in some school and public libraries into the future.  Which in my opinion, is incredibly wrong.

You can find a list of the top 10 most challenge books of the year here. 

X O'Abby

Week #40 – The Time Machine by HG Wells

Last year on Mondays we had fun with books. This year, we'll look at most of the same books but also some new ones, and see if the first line [or first paragraph] met the goal of a first line which is ==> to hook the reader's attention.

Here are some tips on writing a first line

https://www.masterclass.com/articles/tips-for-writing-the-opening-line-of-your-novel

Week #40 –  The Time Machine by HG Wells

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Time_Machine

https://www.gutenberg.org/cache/epub/35/pg35-images.html

First published: May 7, 1895

Here's what the story is about: A scientist builds a time machine and travels to the year 802,701. He finds that humanity has evolved into two races: the childlike Eloi and the savage Morlocks. His machine disappears, so he explores the future world to find it.  

First line/paragraph:

The Time Traveller (for so it will be convenient to speak of him) was expounding a recondite matter to us. His pale grey eyes shone and twinkled, and his usually pale face was flushed and animated. The fire burnt brightly, and the soft radiance of the incandescent lights in the lilies of silver caught the bubbles that flashed and passed in our glasses. Our chairs, being his patents, embraced and caressed us rather than submitted to be sat upon, and there was that luxurious after-dinner atmosphere, when thought runs gracefully free of the trammels of precision. And he put it to us in this way—marking the points with a lean forefinger—as we sat and lazily admired his earnestness over this new paradox (as we thought it) and his fecundity.

This appears to be omniscient POV. The story begins with a description of The Time Traveller, presumably the main character, and the setting. This was apparently a common beginning to books written in this time period. A first paragraph of entirely description without even a hint of plot usually won't capture my attention, but since I know the basic premise of the story and I know it was written so long ago, I would probably give it a chapter or so, to see if it caught my interest.

Does this first line/paragraph hook your attention? If you had never heard of this story, would you buy this book in 2024? Knowing the story, would you change the first line? Tell us in the comments!

Dear O'Abby: What is hybrid publishing? (from the archives)

I've been seeing a few questions cycling through my in box that I've already answered in the past, so if you're reading and think you may have seen this before, you're not wrong! But if I answered a question more than two years ago, and someone asks the same thing again, I feel like it's okay to re-post something from the archives if the advice has remained largely the same...

Dear O'Abby,

I've completed a novel I'm pretty happy with.  My readers seem to like it and I feel like it's in a pretty good place to begin the publishing journey.  I've written other books in the past, queried them (unsuccessfully) and even ventured into self-publishing.  

Since I was last considering publication, there seems to be a new thing called "hybrid" publishing around and I'm not entirely sure what this is.  Can you illuminate me? Is this just a new name for vanity publishing? 

Thanks so much!

Truly,

OldSkool

Dear OldSkool,

Good question!  Hybrid publishing is a relatively recent model which sits somewhere between self-publishing and traditional publishing.  

Under this model the author will still cover the majority of costs for the publication of the book, much like self-publishing.  The advantages are that a hybrid publisher will have distribution networks a self-published author probably doesn't have and will be able to get the book into bookstores.

The publisher will likely have their own imprints and your book would be published under one of these and receive its ISBN from the publisher.  

To offset the investment you put into the publishing of your book, royalty rates with hybrid publishers tend to be higher than traditional publishing.  But the publisher will still take a cut that would not be taken out if you self-published.

Be aware that even though you may be willing to pay a hybrid publisher, they may not accept your book.  Like all businesses, hybrid publishers need to focus on books that will make money and enhance their reputation, so they are likely to focus their time and energy on authors whose work is likely to sell. 

Just like with small presses, I suggest you do through research before submitting to a hybrid publisher.  If they don't have access to better distribution tools than you would have as a self-published author, there is little point. There may be some editorial work done on your book, but as a self-publisher you probably already have an editor you work with, or could find one whose fees fit your budget.

You also need to consider if you can afford to pay for the print run.  As a hybrid author your books will likely be sent to bookstores on consignment, and if they don't sell, you may be saddled with a print run that costs thousands of dollars that doesn't return much to you.  You may also lose control of some decision making about your book like pricing, where it is sold and even editorial matters.

At the end of the day, the decision is yours.  While it may be exciting to have your book accepted by a publisher and to have your name next to theirs on the cover, you will still be paying to produce the book.  Unless the publisher has a strong track record of success in publishing and distributing its books, the value of giving up a percentage of royalties may be limited.

Hope that helps and good luck with your publishing journey!  

X O'Abby

Week #39 – The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson

Last year on Mondays we had fun with books. This year, we'll look at most of the same books but also some new ones, and see if the first line [or first paragraph] met the goal of a first line which is ==> to hook the reader's attention.

Here are some tips on writing a first line

https://www.masterclass.com/articles/tips-for-writing-the-opening-line-of-your-novel

Week #39 –    The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strange_Case_of_Dr_Jekyll_and_Mr_Hyde

https://www.gutenberg.org/files/43/43-h/43-h.htm

First published: January 5, 1886

Here's what the story is about: Dr Jekyll is a kind, well-respected, and intelligent scientist who experiments with the darker side of science. He transforms himself into Mr Hyde - his evil alter ego. 

First line/paragraph:

Mr. Utterson the lawyer was a man of a rugged countenance that was never lighted by a smile; cold, scanty and embarrassed in discourse; backward in sentiment; lean, long, dusty, dreary and yet somehow lovable. At friendly meetings, and when the wine was to his taste, something eminently human beaconed from his eye; something indeed which never found its way into his talk, but which spoke not only in these silent symbols of the after-dinner face, but more often and loudly in the acts of his life. He was austere with himself; drank gin when he was alone, to mortify a taste for vintages; and though he enjoyed the theatre, had not crossed the doors of one for twenty years. But he had an approved tolerance for others; sometimes wondering, almost with envy, at the high pressure of spirits involved in their misdeeds; and in any extremity inclined to help rather than to reprove. “I incline to Cain’s heresy,” he used to say quaintly: “I let my brother go to the devil in his own way.” In this character, it was frequently his fortune to be the last reputable acquaintance and the last good influence in the lives of downgoing men. And to such as these, so long as they came about his chambers, he never marked a shade of change in his demeanour.

This appears to be omniscient POV. The story begins with a description of Mr. Utterson, a lawyer. The description is rather bleak but also includes “yet somehow lovable” which sets up a contrast which may entice me to read a few paragraphs. Overall though, this first paragraph is entirely description without even a hint of plot so I probably would not be inclined to read more.

Does this first line/paragraph hook your attention? If you had never heard of this story, would you buy this book in 2024? Knowing the story, would you change the first line? Tell us in the comments!

Dear O'Abby: Should I discount my books

 Dear O'Abby,

Lots of people have told me that the reason I'm not selling more books is because I don't discount them, but it seems counter-intuitive to discount something when you want to make money from them.  As it is, I'm selling my novels at $3.99, which seems incredibly cheap to me.  Do I really need to discount them further to sell more?

Best wishes,

Discountless

Dear Discountless,

I understand that when you're selling books at an already low rate, the idea of discounting further is kind of appalling.  But there are reasons to do it.  

Given the price-point you've mentioned, I'm assuming you're referring to e-books here, not print, so I'll focus on e-book discounts in this newsletter. If you're interested in print discounts, let me know in the comments and I'll cover that in a future post.  I'm also assuming from your email that you have more than one book published.

When you have a new book out, especially if it's the second, third or subsequent book in a series, it is often a good idea to discount the earlier books just ahead of publication to encourage people to start reading the series.  If it's compelling enough, they'll be gagging for the next installment and more than willing to pay full price for the new one just to find out what happens next.

If you don't write series, offering a discount on your new title can help sell that new book and generate reviews which are so, so valuable in getting your work discovered by readers.  None of these discounts need to be long-term - you can discount for a period, then bump the price back up to normal.

It can also be great for sales to offer a discount when you're doing a campaign.  If people see your ads, but don't know you as an author, they are more likely to take a punt on a book if it's .99c than $3.99.  Then, if they like it, they're likely not to balk at the full price for other books in your catalogue. 

Other times it might be worth offering a discounted price is if you have a book that takes place during a particular time - say, Christmas.  Offering a discount over that period can help generate sales.  Or if your book is set against the high octane world behind the scenes of an election campaign, it is probably worth offering a discount over the election period to capitalise on the current event.  I would be cautious about this when it comes to some topics though...  Be sensitive.  Just because a school shooting or horrific natural disaster is in the news, doesn't mean it's the time to try and sell your book about that subject.  You could look ghoulish or risk traumatising people.

On the whole, discounting is just one of the many tools you have to sell books, and it might take time to figure out exactly when works best of you to use it to its best advantage.  Don't be afraid to experiment.  even if discounting only results in a handful more sales, if those readers love our work, they're likely to become loyal to you and may tell others about your books.  It all helps...

X O'Abby

Week #38 – The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

Last year on Mondays we had fun with books. This year, we'll look at most of the same books but also some new ones, and see if the first line [or first paragraph] met the goal of a first line which is ==> to hook the reader's attention.

Here are some tips on writing a first line

https://www.masterclass.com/articles/tips-for-writing-the-opening-line-of-your-novel

Week #38 – The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Book_Thief

First published: September 1, 2005

Here's what the story is about: Liesel Meminger is a 9-year-old German girl living with foster parents who conceal a Jewish man during World War II. Her foster father helps Liesel learn to read and write, and she begins to steal books that the politicians are seeking to destroy. The story is narrated by Death.

First line/paragraph:

DEATH AND CHOCOLATE

First the colors.
Then the humans.
That's usually how I see things.
Or at least, how I try.

***HERE IS A SMALL FACT***
You are going to die.

I am in all truthfulness attempting to be cheerful about this whole topic, though most people find themselves hindered in believing me, no matter my protestations. Please, trust me. I most definitely can be cheerful. I can be amiable. Agreeable. Affable. And that's only the A's. Just don't ask me to be nice. Nice has nothing to do with me.

This is first person POV but the narrator is unusual. He references “the humans” so we know he is apparently not human. Then he goes abruptly into “you are going to die” and is attempting to be cheerful about the topic [but not nice]. He's also humorous, saying he can be cheerful, amiable, agreeable, affable, “and that's only the A's”. But we soon learn the narrator is Death. Nothing about the characters or plot yet, but I'm sufficiently interested in this unusual narrator that I would give it a few pages to see if it hooked me.

Does this first line/paragraph hook your attention? If you had never heard of this story, would you buy this book in 2024? Knowing the story, would you change the first line? Tell us in the comments!

Dear O'Abby: How do I get my self-published book into bookstores?

 Dear O'Abby,

I have self-published a series of fantasy novels and have had pretty good online sales across a variety of online retailers.  But it has always been my dream to have a book on shelves at a bricks-and-mortar bookstore, and I'm not sure how to make this happen.

Do you have any insight how I could do this, even on a small scale?

Thanks so much!

Best,

Unshelved

Dear Unshelved,

I think being on library and bookstore shelves is every writer's dream, so I completely understand.  Unfortunately, it isn't necessarily the easiest thing in the world, and can end up being very uneconomic.  In my case, I end up losing around $10 on every physical book I sell in a physical bookstore, meaning it's not economically sustainable for me to do. But then, I live in New Zealand so the freight costs to get books to me are substantially more than they might be if you live closer to the place your books are printed.  But something to bear in mind.

The other thing to think about is the fact a bookstore needs to make a profit, so they are likely to take a percentage of the sale price (usually 25%-35%).  Which means that to just break even on the cost of producing the book, you're going to need to mark up the price you sell it to booksellers. As they will probably mark it up again to get the profit margin they need to get, you need to think about the customer facing price and whether it's realistic for consumers.  Again, in my case, to make any money out of a bookstore sale, my books would need to sell at around NZ$35-$40.  Which is more than a typical YA paperback would sell for at a local bookstore.

Once you've done your budgeting and figured out whether selling at stores is actually worth it, the easiest first step is to go to bookstores in your local area (or phone first and make an appointment with the owner/book buyer) to pitch your book.  I suggest approaching a store that specializes in your genre first, if there is one in your local area.  It will be easier to get a romance novel into a store that focuses on romance than to get a romance into a more general bookstore.

Bookstores usually take books from self-pubbed authors on consignment, meaning you will only get paid for the book once it has been sold.  If the book doesn't sell the copies you give the store in a certain time period, it's likely the store will return them to you.

Another option is to use a book distributor like IngramSpark which is a print-on-demand company and means you don't need to invest in a massive print run up front. It's important to allow returns when setting up distribution through a system like this - stores are unlikely to buy copies if they can't return them if they don't sell.

And like all things, the more publicity and marketing you put behind your book, the more likely it is to get picked up by stores.  Like all businesses, bookstores need to make money, and they don't make money by having books sitting on their shelves - they need to fly out the door.  So create demand for the book.  If people are asking for it, booksellers are more likely to stock it.  And if the copies they have fly off the shelves, then they're more likely to re-order.

Hope that's helpful!

X O'Abby

Week #37 – Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell

Last year on Mondays we had fun with books. This year, we'll look at most of the same books but also some new ones, and see if the first line [or first paragraph] met the goal of a first line which is ==> to hook the reader's attention.

Here are some tips on writing a first line

https://www.masterclass.com/articles/tips-for-writing-the-opening-line-of-your-novel

Week #37 –   Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gone_with_the_Wind_(novel)

https://gutenberg.net.au/ebooks02/0200161h.html

First published: June 30, 1936

Here's what the story is about: Scarlett O’Hara is the spoiled daughter of a wealthy plantation owner. The story begins when she is 16 and ends when she is 28. The novel is set in Georgia during the Civil War and Reconstruction period. The book won the Pulitzer Prize and is one of the best-selling books of all time. 

First line/paragraph:

Scarlett O'Hara was not beautiful, but men seldom realized it when caught by her charm as the Tarleton twins were. In her face were too sharply blended the delicate features of her mother, a Coast aristocrat of French descent, and the heavy ones of her florid Irish father. But it was an arresting face, pointed of chin, square of jaw. Her eyes were pale green without a touch of hazel, starred with bristly black lashes and slightly tilted at the ends. Above them, her thick black brows slanted upward, cutting a startling oblique line in her magnolia-white skin—that skin so prized by Southern women and so carefully guarded with bonnets, veils and mittens against hot Georgia suns.

This appears to be omniscient voice. The reader is introduced to Scarlett O'Hara, who we assume is the protagonist, with a description of her that focuses on her physical appearance but also gives us some insight as to her personality [charm], the setting [Georgia], and a little of the culture [white skin prized by Southern women]. The voice is good and the description is intriguing. This will hook me for a page or two, but something of the plot must occur in the next few paragraphs or I'd soon lose interest. The next paragraph gives the year 1861 and Scarlett's age of 16. We get more of the setting and a hint of the plot. I'd give the story a few more pages to see if it hooked me.

Does this first line/paragraph hook your attention? If you had never heard of this story, would you buy this book in 2024? Knowing the story, would you change the first line? Tell us in the comments!

O'Abby's September writing prompt

 I have been reading a book that uses metaphor really effectively and beautifully and it made me think a lot about how powerful a metaphor can be in writing.  Especially if it's one that is extended beyond a single sentence and can be brought back throughout a story.

So this month, I'd like you to use a metaphor in a piece of short fiction and to make this metaphor a central part of the story you are creating.

If you're unsure what a metaphor is, here's the dictionary definition:

A metaphor is a figure of speech that implicitly compares two unrelated things, typically by stating that one thing is another (e.g., “that chef is a magician”). Metaphors can be used to create vivid imagery, exaggerate a characteristic or action, or express a complex idea.

Post your story in the comments so we can all see it.

I'll look forward to seeing what you come up with.  Happy writing!

X O'Abby

Week #36 – The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by CS Lewis

Last year on Mondays we had fun with books. This year, we'll look at most of the same books but also some new ones, and see if the first line [or first paragraph] met the goal of a first line which is ==> to hook the reader's attention.

Here are some tips on writing a first line

https://www.masterclass.com/articles/tips-for-writing-the-opening-line-of-your-novel

Week #36 – The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by CS Lewis

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lion,_the_Witch_and_the_Wardrobe

https://gutenberg.ca/ebooks/lewiscs-thelionthewitchandthewardrobe/lewiscs-thelionthewitchandthewardrobe-00-h.html

First published: October 16, 1950

Here's what the story is about: The first book in the Chronicles of Narnia. Siblings Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy, step through a wardrobe door and into Narnia, a land frozen in eternal winter and enslaved by the White Witch. Aslan the Great Lion gives his life to save one of the children and later rises from the dead, an allegory of Jesus Christ. Aslan and the children work to free Narnia from the White Witch.

First line/paragraph:

Once there were four children whose names were Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy. This story is about something that happened to them when they were sent away from London during the war because of the air-raids. They were sent to the house of an old Professor who lived in the heart of the country, ten miles from the nearest railway station and two miles from the nearest post office. He had no wife and he lived in a very large house with a housekeeper called Mrs. Macready and three servants. (Their names were Ivy, Margaret and Betty, but they do not come into the story much.) He himself was a very old man with shaggy white hair, which grew over most of his face as well as on his head, and they liked him almost at once; but on the first evening when he came out to meet them at the front door he was so odd-looking that Lucy (who was the youngest) was a little afraid of him, and Edmund (who was the next youngest) wanted to laugh and had to keep on pretending he was blowing his nose to hide it. 

This story has an obvious storyteller and is in omniscient POV. The first paragraph is an introduction and gives background, The reader is introduced to four children and various other characters, and we are told the children were evacuated from London because of war. We don't have anything of the plot yet, just this background. I'm not hooked yet but I'll probably give it a page or two to see if something happens.

Does this first line/paragraph hook your attention? If you had never heard of this story, would you buy this book in 2024? Knowing the story, would you change the first line? Tell us in the comments!

Dear O'Abby: How do i make my ending more satisfying?

 Dear O'Abby,

I've recently finished my first novel and I took it to a local writing group to get some feedback on it.  I had six different people read it, and they all said they enjoyed it, but found the ending unsatisfying. None of them could put their finger on exactly why it wasn't satisfying, so I'm curious how one makes and ending feel right.

Do you have any kind of basic information that could help me re-shape the ending of my book?

Best wishes,

 Unfinished

Dear Unfinished,

That's the worst kind of feedback, isn't it?  That everyone feels the same thing about the ending, but no one can quite give you a specific reason why it's not working for them.

My suggestion would be to look closely at your characters.  Often when something feels unsatisfying it's because a character acts in a way that isn't typical of the way they've acted through the rest of the book.  That can be jarring, especially if they change out of the blue to facilitate the ending you want without there being much growth beforehand.  If you think this might be the case, go back through and see if there are places you can show your character growing or changing to become the person they need to be to make the ending satisfying.

Alternatively, it could be that the characters haven't earned the ending you've given them.  To be a satisfying ending, your characters need to have been through hell to get there.  If everything has just fallen into their laps and they've tiptoed through the tulips to get to the end, you may need to go back and throw some obstacles in their way.  It should feel impossible that these people can ever get whatever it is that they want or need, that there is no way they can possibly overcome everything thrown in their way.  Then, when they do attain that ending, it feels like they deserve whatever it is they earn from getting through.

Or it could very well be a combination of both these things.  I suggest you go through your MS with a finetoothed comb, focusing on both these things separately.  I can almost guarantee you will find ways in which to challenge your characters more, and in turn, show their growth as people who deserve the ending you've given them.

Hope that helps!

X O'Abby

Week #35 – Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

Last year on Mondays we had fun with books. This year, we'll look at most of the same books but also some new ones, and see if the first line [or first paragraph] met the goal of a first line which is ==> to hook the reader's attention.

Here are some tips on writing a first line

https://www.masterclass.com/articles/tips-for-writing-the-opening-line-of-your-novel

Week #35 –   Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gone_Girl_(novel)

First published: May 24, 2012

Here's what the story is about: The narrative alternates between Nick and Amy Dunne. Nick's narration begins shortly after arriving home on his fifth wedding anniversary to find Amy is missing and there are signs of a struggle. Nick is the prime suspect. Both Nick and Amy are revealed to be unreliable narrators.

First line/paragraph:

When I think of my wife, I always think of her head. The shape of it, to begin with. The very first time I saw her, it was the back of the head I saw, and there was something lovely about it, the angles of it. Like a shiny, hard corn kernel or a riverbed fossil. She had what the Victorians would call finely shaped head. You could imagine the skull quite easily. 

First person POV. A man musing about how he thinks about his wife. Very strange that he always thinks of her head. Not her smile or anything else about her. Always her head. We don't have anything of the plot, just this thought. I'm somewhat intrigued about a man who thinks of his wife's head before anything else about her. And in the next paragraph he thinks about unspooling her brain. A bit creepy but I'm intrigued enough to keep reading.

Does this first line/paragraph hook your attention? If you had never heard of this story, would you buy this book in 2024? Knowing the story, would you change the first line? Tell us in the comments!

Dear O'Abby: Is self-publishing becoming more acceptable?

Dear O'Abby,

I've been writing a long time now - well over 20 years - and when I started, self-publishing had a real stigma about it.  It was like people thought you only self-published as a last resort, if you'd been rejected by agents and traditional publishers time and time again.  So it's not something I've ever thought very seriously about.

Now it seems like self-publishing is a very legitimate way to publish, and self-pubbed books can have as much success as traditionally published books or even more.  

Is this actually true?  I've been publishing with a small press for several years, but they put very little into marketing or even properly editing my stuff for the 45% of sales they take, so I'm wondering if I'd be better of self-pubbing.  I just want to make sure my books won't become second-class citizens, so to speak, as a result.

Kind regards,

Uncertain

Dear Uncertain,

There are lots of things to consider when thinking about self-publishing, but you're correct in your assessment that it has become much more acceptable in recent years. I mean, the Pulitzer Prize is now open to self-published authors and there isn't much that's more prestigious than that!  

And self-published books are selling well too.  Around 30-35% of ebooks sold are self-published and there is an increasing number of self-pubbed authors earning over $100K a year.

On the downside, with this surge in popularity, the number of self-puubed books out there is growing year on year, meaning there is an increasing number to compete with in the market.  While the number of authors earning a good living from their books is growing, on average 90% of sell-pubbed books sell 100 copies or less.  So it's important to keep your expectations realistic.

The self-pubbed authors who do the best are writers who can write and publish quickly.  Once an author's work is popular, readers want more and unless the writer can provide more on a regular basis, they're quickly going to fall out of favour.  The most successful self-pubbed authors have at least 10 books for sale, usually series.

And genre is important too.  The majority of successful self-pubbed books are fantasy, romance or crime thrillers.  If you're writing outside these genres, it may be harder to break through as a self-pubbed author.

Of course, the other thing about self-publishing is that everything is on you, from sourcing cover art, to editing, to formatting the actual book to marketing and publicity.  And all of that stuff takes time (and money if you're going to do it professionally).  You need to have that time and money available to you to make a success out of self-pubbing and that often means taking time away from writing.  Which in turn, means you may not be able to publish new books as frequently as you might like to.

So while there isn't the same kind of stigma around self-publishing as there was 20 years ago, there are still a number of things you should consider before choosing to go this route.

Hope that helps!

X O'Abby.