I've been querying agents and publishers off and on for over five years now. I've written three novels in this period and so far, no bites. I've had a few full requests, but none of them have come to anything. I'm feeling quite discouraged, to be honest. I know these people aren't rejecting me personally, but given the amount of time and effort and how much of myself spills over onto the pages of my books, it feels personal.
Do you have any tips on how to remain positive in the face of all this rejection? I don't want to be a depressed, neurotic person, but sometimes it's really difficult not to feel this way.
Kind regards,
Despondent.
Dear Despondent,
I'm glad you recognise that a rejection for your book is not a rejection of you, personally. And I know how hard it is not to take it that way, but good on you for trying!
I think getting used to rejection is the hardest thing about being a writer, except maybe the writing itself. But every writer has to get used to it. That doesn't mean you have to just shrug it off. I think it's really helpful to take a moment to feel that hurt and disappointment. Acknowledge it, but don't dwell on it. If you give it too much space, it will take over and make it really difficult to keep going.
And don't read too much into each rejection. Most of them are form letters, so everyone is getting the same thing. If you obsess over whatever the agent says, you're never going to be able to move on. If you are lucky enough to get some personalised feedback, believe what the agent says. If she says your voice is strong, take that as a compliment and trust that she means it. Don't make things harder for yourself by trying to read deeper meaning into whatever scrap of feedback you might get. That's just going to make you feel worse.
I know a lot of writers send queries out in batches and each time they get a rejection, they send out a new one. Doing something proactive can help you deal with the rejection. If you've done this several times and are still not getting any requests, maybe you need to re-work your query. This can also help you get over the rejection as you're doing something creative(ish) that could make a difference.
And move on. Write something new while you're querying. Fall in love with a new set of characters and revel in making their lives hell. Having something you're working on and excited about can take the sting out of rejection. There's always that spark of hope that even if that one isn't getting requests, maybe this new one will be the ONE.
If you're finding it really hard, there's no reason you can't stop for a while. If you find querying is really getting you down, stop for a while. Do something else, something that really fills you up. You can always go back to it when you are feeling more resillient.
Hope that helps. Best of luck with the querying.
X O'Abby
No comments:
Post a Comment