Dear O'Abby: Is it my query or my pages?

Dear O'Abby,

I've been querying for several months now without much success.  In fact, I've had no success.  Not a single request for more pages.  It's terribly disheartening because I've had my MS thoroughly edited by a professional editor (which cost quite a bit) and spent several months honing my query.  

Without any feedback from the agents I'm querying - other than the occasional form letter - I'm not sure if it's the query that isn't compelling enough or the pages.

Do you have any advice on how I could find out?

Best,

Discouraged

Dear Discouraged,

I feel your pain.  Querying is soul destroying, especially when you're not getting any helpful feedback.  It's hard to know if it's the query or the pages that aren't working, or if you're writing in a genre or category that agents know is on the way out.

The best way to figure it out in the first instance is to change up your query and see if that makes a difference.  If you suddenly see an upswing in the number of requests you get, you'll know it's the query making the difference.

If you change the query and still get no change in the number of requests, it's time to take a good look at your manuscript.  One of the things I find frequently in the manuscripts I critique is that the book starts in the wrong place.  The writing might be lovely, but unless the plot kicks off within the first few pages, you're probably starting in the wrong place.  Agents usually only give a book a few pages to wow them, so if you're opening isn't compelling, you're not going to get any requests.

There are a number of places you can get help with your query package, and it's well worth taking advantage of any assistance you can get.  When you're as close to your book as you have to be to write it, it's often difficult to see where your query or opening pages are letting you down.  If you have a critique group, get them to look over your query materials and give you feedback.  Authors and agents sometimes offer critiques of these as contest prizes or auction them off for charity.  Enter these and you might get something very valuable in return.

There are also forums you can join where other writers will critique your query. The SCBWI boards is one place. And I believe there is a socializing section on Query Tracker that allows you to trade queries with others.  I haven't used this in a few years though...  And then there are networking opportunities through online conferences like Write On Con where fellow writers will comment and critique your query.

For the very brave, there's also the infamous Query Shark, where agent Janet Reid will set you straight about what works and what doesn't work in your query.  Even if you're not willing to let her shred your work, you will learn an enormous amount by just reading through all the queries she has already eviscerated and helped to re-build.

Hopefully this will help you hone that query package, and start getting requests.

X  O'Abby

Dear O'Abby - Can I send more pages than requested with my query?

Dear O'Abby,

I'm querying, and most agents seem to want either five or ten pages with the query, if they want pages at all.  My chapters are pretty short - only around 1500 words each, and all end with a hook leading into the next chapter.  1500 words is around six pages....

So my question is, if an agent asks for five pages, is it okay if I send the whole first chapter, even if it is over the five pages?  Or the first two chapters if they ask for ten? I feel like leaving the chapters a few hundred words shy of the end of each chapter doesn't showcase my work in the best light because  the hooks at the end of each chapter are almost always the best parts.

What would you suggest?

Yours,

One Page Too Long

Dear One Page Too Long,

Most agents ask that you past these pages into the body of an email along with your query, so they're not actually going to know exactly how many pages you've sent unless they count the words.  If you send the entire novel, or two or three times as much as they've asked for, they'll notice, but if it's only a couple of hundred extra words, they probably won't. And I don't believe any agent is pedantic enough (or has enough time) to count your words and reject you because you sent a page or two more than what was requested.

The purpose of sending pages is to show the agent what your writing voice is, your style, and that you can actually string sentences together in a coherent fashion.  Rather than focusing on the length of your sample, make sure it's the best possible example of your work.  Check for typos, grammar errors or spelling mistakes.  Make sure you've tightened the language so every word has a purpose and reason to be there.  Ensure the opening of your book is compelling enough to make readers want to read on.

You want the agent to be frustrated when they reach the end of your sample, wanting to read on enough that they will reach out and ask for the rest of your book to be delivered to their in-box immediately so they can keep reading.

If your pages don't do that, it doesn't matter if you send five, ten or twenty.

XX O'Abby

The October Mystery Agent contest is coming! Is your first 250 ready?

TGIF, Operation Awesome! In case you missed it, our October Mystery Agent lottery is open until next Thursday, September 25th. Our awesome MA is seeking MG, YA (any & all genres!), women's fiction, historical fiction, and romance (historical, contemporary, and new adult).

Our MA will be considering not only your Twitter-length pitches, but also the first 250 words of your manuscript, as well. When I was a querying writer, those contests were my favorite - a pitch could go either way, but when actual pages entered the equation, I knew that my entry would truly represent my manuscript, for better or worse.

So what makes a strong opening? Well... unfortunately, that is as subjective as the rest of this process. One reader may find your opening slow or confusing, and another may be hooked from the word 'go.'

But no matter what kind of opening I'm reading, there's one thing I can't go without: grounding. Sometimes, in an effort to avoid the dreaded infodump, the writer will catapult the readers into a dynamic, dramatic scene, hoping to grab their attention that way. And some writers can pull off an in media res opening beautifully! But without grounding - an idea of who these people are, and the rules of the world they live in - the stakes just aren't there for me.

If I don't know the main character yet, I'm just not going to be invested in their success. But that doesn't mean I have to understand absolutely everything within that first page! It really only takes a few well-placed, specific details to get readers interested in what you have to offer. A hook doesn't have to be an explosion. It can be an intriguing setting, a relationship dynamic, or just a character I instantly like. That's what will keep me begging for the next page.

What do you look for in an opening?

Reasons for Rejection: "As you know, Bob" Dialogue

Happy Sunday everyone! And welcome to my first official non-intro post on Operation Awesome!

As mentioned in my introduction post two weeks ago, I am an intern at a literary agency and one of my responsibilities involves reading the slush pile. The agency asks for a query, synopsis and the first fifty pages with submissions, but usually, I can tell if something is for me in the first ten pages.

Within the first ten pages, I either fall in love with the voice or I don't. There a lot of different things that make me fall and love and a lot of things that make me reject but today we are going to talk about a reason for rejection I call "As you know, Bob" dialogue.

This is a way of exposition dumping that seems clever because it is done through dialogue but comes off sounding very unnatural because... well... the characters have no reason to bring it up. Consider this scene.

"I can't wait to visit the rain forest this summer." Bob said.

"Are you sure? As you know, Bob, your parents were killed by a vicious tiger in the rain forest leaving you an orphan when you were very young." John replied.

This is a slightly exaggerated example, but the issue should be obvious. John is telling Bob something he already knows. Why bring it up? Its not as if Bob spontaneously forgot this life scarring trauma. This dialogue is here solely for the benefit of the reader and it comes off as awkward.

Exposition is hard. We have to find lots of clever ways to hide it. Sometimes we stick it dialogue but if not executed right, it will stand out like a sore thumb and the agent will be quick to throw the pages in the rejection pile, as natural dialogue is one of the most important elements of any novel. So what's a simple way to fix 'As you know, Bob' dialogue?

Simple: Put someone in the conversation who DOESN'T know.

JK Rowling is a genius in many ways but the best thing she ever did for the Harry Potter books was to make the main character Harry Potter, a boy who knows nothing about the wizarding world. He has to learn as he goes along, just as the audience does. In this way, Harry is an effective narrator. If he was a wizard like Ron it would be much harder to explain the world to the audience without some exposition riddled dialogue.

Exposition in dialogue is fine. But make sure that it makes sense. Put a confused outsider in the mix and you are on your way to a much more natural conversation. And that's another reason for rejection you can cross off your list!