Thursday, February 10, 2022

Dear O'Abby - Should I critique my bestie's book?

 Dear O'Abby,

I am a published author with several books to my name, both traditionally and self-pubbed.  My husband has just completed his first novel and asked me to beta read for him. Rather foolishly, I agreed, and am now faced with a dilemma.  

The book is nowhere near ready for publication.  It's a fascinating idea, but the execution is such I can't see it being redeemed without basically starting again with the same core idea, but an entirely different approach.

My question is, do I tell my husband this? I don't want to ruin our relationship, but I feel like I'd be doing him a disservice if I didn't tell him the book isn't ready to send out.  The query trenches are tough enough when you do have a sale-able manuscript!

Do you have any advice for me?

Sincerely,

Divorce Pending

Dear Divorce Pending,

This is such a tough situation to be in and I feel your pain. I have been in a similar situation before, and I now refuse to critique manuscripts for anyone I know in real life.  It's just too hard when the book isn't good!  You've already agreed to read it, so it's too late to tell him you can't do it, so the way I see it, you have two choices.

You can tell him you read it and enjoyed it and give him feedback only on the things you liked about it.  It's not going to help him much, but it might keep your marriage intact.  Once he starts sending it out and inevitably gets rejections, he might be more receptive to hearing your thoughts. But then, he might also be angry that you weren't 100% honest with him to start with.

The other option is to be brutally honest and tell him exactly where the flaws are and what he needs to do to fix them.  You know him best, so are in the best position to understand how he might react to this type of critique.

If you do decide to go the second route, it's probably a good idea to start with the positives and to lead with telling him this is just your personal and professional opinion.  Let him know he doesn't have to take any of your advice if it doesn't feel right to him and that he should definitely get critiques from others as well so he can see if the same things come up for other readers.  You will know all this if you're a writer yourself.

At the end of the day, you need to be honest about your relationship and how your husband responds to criticism.  It's not worth destroying an important relationship over this, so make sure you tread carefully.  Your husband might surprise you.  No doubt he has seen and heard enough of the process through your experiences to know at least a little about it, and you might find he's far more open to your critique than you might imagine.

Good luck!  And do let us know how it goes...

X O'Abby

1 comment:

J Lenni Dorner said...

I'd say it also depends how you'll feel sitting on the sidelines watching your husband fall on his face, knowing you could have prevented it.
Maybe see if he'll get someone else (a paid person with no "feelings" involved) to also do a critique. Then, once that feedback, then offer yours as well. See if you and the other person agree.