So yesterday marked the day that my book will be coming out next year. A year from yesterday, I will be a published author. It seems so far away; however, I am already feeling nervous about the release. It's funny that, after all this time, instead of excitement, I feel so afraid.
Maybe afraid isn't the right word. I feel exposed. I've been working on publishing THE EMISSARY for years. I've stubbornly not given up on it. I've pushed and pushed and pushed. I've edited it countless times. And finally, when epic fantasy is turning around again, my book gets its time. You'd figure that I'd be jumping up and down. You'd figure that my dreams had finally come true. I'm not sure if rejection has made me skeptical, knowing that the bad reviews will come with the good. But I do know that this work, specifically, has so much of my passion, so much of my time and energy, that I feel as if I am ripping open my chest and exposing my heart to the world.
Do any of you have a book like that? One that, even though it may have failed, is the one that pulses though you to be seen? It's not that the story is about me or anything, but I've been so entwined with these characters, I've pushed until they could be seen.
And now that it is going to happen, I feel nervous. A year may seem like a long ways away, but I'm okay with it. I need that time to mentally prepare.
THE EMISSARY is up on goodreads now, for those of you who would like to wait with me. It doesn't have a cover yet, but that is coming along as well.