Sunday, October 13, 2013

Giving Up

The other day I had a writing setback. Not a huge one, but the timing of it made me add up all my rejections for the past few years, and... well, it was a big number.

Amid them, I've had a handful of acceptances, but so far, it's all come to ... well, nothing.

One thought brought me comfort: the thought of giving up.

I could just give up! I didn't have to do this any longer. I didn't have to work toward publishing my fiction. I didn't even have to write fiction.

Give up.

It was possible. I could stop for a little while, or forever.

I could give up.

Why was the comforting? Because it's a choice. As long as I can give up, I am free. The corollary is that as long as I pursue this path, it means that I am choosing it.

So I'm choosing it for now.

Here's a little theme song for those of us who need the option to quit so that we keep going. There's no glory in compulsion -- I choose this of my own free will.


Susan Flett Swiderski said...

Good choice! After all, your blog is called "Operation Awesome"... not "Operation Throw in the Towel."

JeffO said...

"It's not really failure if you're not even trying." Brilliant! I'm a gonna make that my new theme song!

IN all seriousness, giving up is the short-term, easy way. The thing about giving up is that it tends to lead to regret further down the road, and that can be even harder to deal with than failure in the now. Hang in there, Kelly!

Kathleea said...

I think every one of us who writes has those moments. I know I do. I tell my kids, "That's it, I'm done. I'm giving up writing." When they were younger they'd talk me out of it now they say, "Okay" because they know I won't give up. There's always another story to write and for me, writing is part of my DNA. I could no more give it up then give up breathing. Yes, it's nice to have choices but giving up isn't one of mine. I choose to write so I do. Thanks for reminding me of that.