#AtoZChallenge Q: (How to Write a) Query Letter

As the host of Query Friday here on OA, allow me to share my query letter for the YA novel that I ended up pulling from the query trenches so that we can rip it apart together! :) As a side note, this is the query that was refined in Query Kombat 2018, made it to the quarterfinals and ended up snagging two full manuscript requests and one partial:

Dear [Name of Agent],

Fourteen-year-old Sai is one of the highest-ranked gamers on the Shadows of Shinobi circuit…but he can't go out in public without having a meltdown. [I wanted to do two main things with this hook: Establish the main character and get the reader to sympathize with whatever he’s struggling with. I also revealed that this novel has something to do with video games.] 

As a teenager with Autism, Sai battles overwhelming anxiety and underdeveloped social skills. [This gives us context for why he’s having such a hard time, as mentioned in the hook. This strengthens what was laid out beforehand.] But when Team Komodo asks him to become the reserve player on their semi-professional eSports team, those social skills are put to the test as he turns online acquaintances into real-life friends. [Now, we’ve got out inciting incident: A semi-pro eSports team recruits him.]

Thankfully, each member of Team Komodo is just as much of a fringe-dweller as Sai. It is comprised of a transgender jack-of-all-trades, a dating sim addict, a hyperactive community college dropout, a fake psychic and a thorny military reject. [Introducing the members of the team serves a few purposes: They are no longer a nebulous entity, but now a cast of quirky misfits who give the novel a distinct slice-of-life tone. It would be reasonable to assume that a cast like this would be up to some comedic shenanigans.] To earn his keep, Sai begins analyzing the team’s competition to increase their chances of winning. But as the team climbs to higher divisions, they’ll have to face stronger opponents. [Now, we’ve got the introduction of our stakes. Just like with any tournament, the competition gets harder the farther you climb.]

As Team Komodo enters a grueling series of tournaments, every member of the team knows that they can't afford to let their internal struggles get in the way of victory. There’s no time to think about the world they don’t fit into or why they became obsessed with videogames in the first place. If they win, Sai and his teammates inch closer to breaking into the pro scene. If they lose, it’s back to social isolation and working dead end jobs. [The “If X, this will happen, but if Y, that will happen,” Formula is standard for query letters. It’s a simple way of making your stakes even more serious for the characters.] The six members of Team Komodo have two hurdles to jump: their opponents and their own neuroses. They’ll have to beat both if they have a chance at becoming what every nerd in the world aspires to be: pros. [At the end of the plot summary, the reader will know who the characters are, what their ultimate goal is, why it means a lot to them and what will happen if they don’t get it. All of this is essential to writing queries.]

EXP is a Contemporary YA novel complete at 52,000 words. This “found family story in an eSports setting” features neurodiverse characters, LGBTQ+ characters, as well as characters of color and is #OwnVoices for all three categories. [Metadata for all queries has to include your novel’s title, category, genre and word count. Some extras that I included here is that the novel is #OwnVoices, which would have only helped me in the YA category in the current market.]

I am an Autistic transgender person of color wishing to cultivate accurate representation of my neurotype in fiction. I have experience as a high school English teacher and I have worked closely with my target audience. I am also a member of the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators. [I disclosed my identities to reassure the agent that I know what I’m talking about when writing characters who fall into these categories. I also mentioned that I had close contact with my target audience and that I was a member of a reputable literary organization. Had I written this query after Query Kombat, I would have also mentioned my involvement and how far I got in the competition.]

I believe this project may interest you because… [Here, I list reasons relevant to each agent’s personal experience and interests.]

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely yours,

Nathaniel Glanzman

This is not a perfect query letter by any means, and I’m open to feedback in the comments below if you have any suggestions for improvement. I just hope that this post provided you with some ideas of where to begin writing your query letter. Starting this May, be on the lookout for new Query Friday posts so that you can enter your letter for a critique! :)