|Disneyland First 50|
Reminder: Be nice, but be honest. [Comments that are not polite/respectful will be deleted.] What would YOU like to know if this was YOUR first 50 words? Do you think it's a good opening line for the category/genre? Does it have a hook? Does it pull you into the story? Do you want to read more? Why or why not? Be specific, so your critique helps the person who wrote the entry.
Here's this week's entry.
First 50 Words – MG Entry #4
When landing inside a Christmas tree, stay away from pointed pine needles. Despite being smaller than a snowflake, Halo was painfully aware of that fact.
Luckily, this year she materialized halfway from the tip.
Evergreen scents tickled her nose, and she glanced through the white pine. Ornaments as familiar as the fingers on her hands hung on every branch.