What's your subconscious telling you?

I'll admit I don't listen to my subconscious as much as I should. Like many of us, I get caught up in the doldrums of day-to-day life, and to-do lists, especially when I have a lot on my plate.

But living this way means a lot gets ignored. As an example, all I've thought about lately is the six-week intensive literature class that's part of my MFA in Creative Writing. At the same time, I'm determined to keep up with the edits in my current WIP (I just passed 100 pages). Plus all the day-job blah-blah. I don't know how all of you with kids do it. Even without them, I'm working so hard to keep up that I'm too stressed to take time and relax. And my body is starting to make me pay for it.

Sometimes this happens to writers on deadline. Or with a book contract. And then a family crisis happens. Or something else life-related. And then we have to figure out our way through the muck before it pulls us under.

When I went to the Buildin' The Dream conference this past weekend, I was reminded how important relaxation time is, and why taking it is so important during stressful times (even though that's when it's hardest to do). Taking it doesn't mean I'll drop any of the balls I'm juggling. If anything, it means that I'll have time to catch them before they drop.

As writers, we don't leave ourselves a lot of brain space.  That, combined with our go-go-go society and so many women leaning in (and with subsequent rebuttals, including this genius middle ground solution from Creative Juicer), means our subconscious gets squished under a lot of things that might not matter. And then we end up snuffing out our own fires.

Mine was nearly snuffed out, but I was too busy to notice. During a session entitled, Writing From the Ashes, from the awesomely talented Amber Scott, I started to get it back again. And it brought on a flood of tears.

I couldn't stop crying. It was embarrassing. I realized how much I was holding in, and suppressing my subconscious. How sick I made myself as a result of all my self-induced stress. And even worse: that none of it was necessary.

Amber said our subconscious is an order taker--which means we can control the orders we give it. If we don't change the orders, we'll inevitably put that part of our brains--that beautiful, subtle subconsciousness, in chains. Then, not only will our writing suffer, but our health and well-being will too.

In my last post, I talked about how I came to realize that my subconscious is a smarter writer than I am. It hinted at secrets my protagonist's mother was hiding. On the next go through, I played them up, and the story improved immensely as a result.

For those of you (all of you?) juggling a million things--are you taking the time to give your brain the space it needs? Are you taking perhaps five, ten minutes a day to be present with your physical self, and drop your mental tasks for a moment so you can have the strength to pick them back up and carry them?

It's great to work toward goals. But also take time to breathe, even if it's for a few minutes a day. Listen to your body and tune in to what your subconscious is saying. What is it telling you? And more importantly--are you listening?

The "Over-Many-Nights" Success

I read a 2007 post by Rick Riordan, about when people ask what it feels like to be “an overnight success.” It took him nearly ten years to reach his “overnight success.” His story parallels that of so many writers I know or have read about. I don’t think people realize oftentimes just how hard these overnight successes had to struggle before they “made it.”

Since my book deal was announced, I’ve had people ask me about my journey. When people hear that Treasured Lies was the first book I ever wrote, I think they sometimes assume I didn’t have to struggle much. After all, I sold my first novel!

However… :D

The very first draft of Treasured Lies was finished about five years ago. Since then, it has been completely rewritten at least three times, and I mean COMPLETLEY, with countless revisions of those rewrites in between. And I wrote other books between those TL rewrites. I queried that poor baby over 200 times (and then I stopped counting). I got many requests, some revise/resubs, and lots of “I love it, buts" :)

I’ve started other projects that I’ve abandoned. But this one I just couldn’t leave alone. I believed in it too much. So every so often, I’d pull it out of its virtual drawer and start all over again. So while it might technically be the first book I wrote, if you count up all the rewrites and books in between, it’s at least book number 5 or 6 :)

I’m glad I had a hard road of it, because now I can truly appreciate the success I've earned. And I know, and accept, that there is another hard road ahead. More importantly, I know I can handle the speed bumps that are going to come my way. Getting published is just one more step up. It's a good step, a very very good step that makes me smile whenever I think of it :) But I know there are still some rough times ahead, and probably always will be. And it's good to know that I can deal with all the ups and downs that will come with the journey to true success.

Rick Riordan says all this so much better than I am doing here :) Be sure to read his article. It’s inspiring – and wonderful to know that even the big names out there had to go through the same things I am :)