What's your subconscious telling you?

I'll admit I don't listen to my subconscious as much as I should. Like many of us, I get caught up in the doldrums of day-to-day life, and to-do lists, especially when I have a lot on my plate.

But living this way means a lot gets ignored. As an example, all I've thought about lately is the six-week intensive literature class that's part of my MFA in Creative Writing. At the same time, I'm determined to keep up with the edits in my current WIP (I just passed 100 pages). Plus all the day-job blah-blah. I don't know how all of you with kids do it. Even without them, I'm working so hard to keep up that I'm too stressed to take time and relax. And my body is starting to make me pay for it.

Sometimes this happens to writers on deadline. Or with a book contract. And then a family crisis happens. Or something else life-related. And then we have to figure out our way through the muck before it pulls us under.

When I went to the Buildin' The Dream conference this past weekend, I was reminded how important relaxation time is, and why taking it is so important during stressful times (even though that's when it's hardest to do). Taking it doesn't mean I'll drop any of the balls I'm juggling. If anything, it means that I'll have time to catch them before they drop.

As writers, we don't leave ourselves a lot of brain space.  That, combined with our go-go-go society and so many women leaning in (and with subsequent rebuttals, including this genius middle ground solution from Creative Juicer), means our subconscious gets squished under a lot of things that might not matter. And then we end up snuffing out our own fires.

Mine was nearly snuffed out, but I was too busy to notice. During a session entitled, Writing From the Ashes, from the awesomely talented Amber Scott, I started to get it back again. And it brought on a flood of tears.

I couldn't stop crying. It was embarrassing. I realized how much I was holding in, and suppressing my subconscious. How sick I made myself as a result of all my self-induced stress. And even worse: that none of it was necessary.

Amber said our subconscious is an order taker--which means we can control the orders we give it. If we don't change the orders, we'll inevitably put that part of our brains--that beautiful, subtle subconsciousness, in chains. Then, not only will our writing suffer, but our health and well-being will too.

In my last post, I talked about how I came to realize that my subconscious is a smarter writer than I am. It hinted at secrets my protagonist's mother was hiding. On the next go through, I played them up, and the story improved immensely as a result.

For those of you (all of you?) juggling a million things--are you taking the time to give your brain the space it needs? Are you taking perhaps five, ten minutes a day to be present with your physical self, and drop your mental tasks for a moment so you can have the strength to pick them back up and carry them?

It's great to work toward goals. But also take time to breathe, even if it's for a few minutes a day. Listen to your body and tune in to what your subconscious is saying. What is it telling you? And more importantly--are you listening?

Writerly mascots: having team spirit

Our mascot here at
Operation Awesome

The dictionary defines a mascot as a person, animal, or object believed to bring good luck, especially one kept as a symbol of an organization such as a sports team. I personally don't believe in "luck". In fact, when my daughter had the opportunity to be the school mascot yesterday, luck was the furthest thing from my mind as I watched her interacting with fellow schoolmates. What I thought of, what I felt, was a whole lot of team spirit. Camaraderie. A group of people coming together to celebrate something, forgetting each others' failings and shortcomings, because the attention was focused on the mascot and celebrating the entire group as a whole.

Wikipedia's definition of mascot continues as, ... colloquially (informally) includes anything used to represent a group with a common public identity... and later, ... Costumed mascots are commonplace, and are regularly used as goodwill ambassadors in the community for their team, company, or organization...

Now, this is how I see mascots. As goodwill ambassadors in the community. Our writerly community is huge, and this group and so many more out there prove that just because we're not physically together, we can still celebrate who we are and what we do. We can be mascots for each other. Not as in luck; not as in, symbols of specific things; but by being honest, faithful, helpful representations for one another, pointing to one common goal: helping each other succeed. We can spur each other on, rejoice in achievements, and gather together in groups all over this great big "interweb" to lift each other up. The solitary business of sitting behind a computer and writing doesn't have to be solitary. Be a mascot. Celebrate someone who is one to you. And above all, remember that our differences is what makes us such an awesome community.

Goooo writers! I am honored and proud to be on your team!

What Writers' Husbands Understand

1. When I say, "Just give me ten-twenty minutes. I'll be right in," it really means, "I'll be writing for the next several hours because I can't fight the muse and I'll probably need you to drag me to bed at some point."

2. When I say, "I just got feedback from my critique partners," he hears, "You know that movie we were going to watch tonight? Umm, can we postpone it for an hour so I can read what my critique partners thought about that last chapter?"

3. When I say, "I feel so close to the end. I just want to work on it until I can type THE END," he knows he'll come out later and find me playing The Sims3.

4. When I say, "One more round of revisions, and I think I'll be set," he knows I really mean, "I'm down to the last five rounds of revisions, but I may decide to rewrite it completely at the end of the month."

5. When I say, "I'm gonna start querying next week," he hears, "Buckle up, Buster!" and gets ready to join me on yet another writerly roller-coaster.

Here's a shout out to all the spouses of writers out there who continue to be supportive (for the most part) and help us maintain balance when we're crazy. And especially thanks to my husband, without whom I wouldn't even be giving my writing a shot. 

Thanks, Bill, for all the weekends you let me sleep in because you knew I had a writing hangover. Our kids appreciate it, too. :)

We all have our muses, but who are the people in your life who balance that out and keep you grounded in the joys of reality? Feel free to give them a shout-out in the comments!