Friday, June 26, 2020

June 2020 Pass or Pages Entry #4

It's time for the Pass or Pages feedback reveal!  We're so thankful for our awesome agents Rebecca Podos of Rees Literary and Tia Rose Mele of Talcott Notch Literary Services for taking the time to critique these entries.  And a shout out to the brave authors whose work will be on the blog this week.  You are awesome!

Entry 4: Flipping


Query


I am seeking representation for FLIPPING, an adult paranormal rom-com. Think The Money Pit, but with a gay ghost and a psychic house flipper duking it out over a haunted house with an agenda of its own. Complete at 95,000 words, this enemies-to-lovers romance is told from the ghost’s point of view[RP1].

Charley Dalton did his time as a homeless man. He’s not about to be a homeless ghost.

When Charley died in 1975 in Savannah, Georgia, he got his second chance on life—the afterlife. Becoming a ghost was the best decision he ever made. He’s got a home now—a derelict haunted mansion—and he lives there with four ghostly companions, his chosen family. It’s idyllic with only one great threat: if the house is renovated or demolished, all he haunts for will come crashing down.

Austin Sparks can see ghosts. He hates them. They’ve been ruining his life since he was a kid. But he’s a house flipper now, and trying to get his life back on track. When good fortune arrives in the shape of a house left to him by his grandmother, he and his partner plan to fix it up and sell it, capitalizing on the rich history of ghosts in Savannah as a major selling point. Over Charley’s dead body.

Charley and Austin go at it hard, each one determined to get rid of the other. But when Charley seriously injures Austin, he puts the house at risk of being sold to a real-estate developer and torn down. Charley has to change tactics. He has to make Austin care about the house enough to never sell it. He has to make Austin love ghosts. Love him.

Probably shouldn’t have pushed him off the roof first[RP2][TRM1].
~~~
Rebecca's comments:
[RP1] Alright, this drew me right in.
[RP2] This query had all of the necessary information, humor, and an exceptionally weird premise for a romance…and I’m in.

Tia's comments:
[TRM1]  This query is really well written and has a great voice!

First 250 Words


It’s a common misconception that ghosts haunt because they have unfinished business with living. Not true. When I died near the train tracks in Savannah, Georgia, in 1975, I was done with all of living. I stayed because heaven was boring and they hadn’t finished the fence around hell yet.

That’s my answer when they ask me—the four other ghosts I live with. They believe it. It’s as good as any of their answers. Charley Dalton doesn’t need a better one than anyone else.

The truth is far less interesting. It’s quite simple to become a ghost, really. Picture that you’ve just died, literally with your pants down in a sordid alley somewhere, shit running down your legs, and when you come to yourself after all the misery you’ve suffered, you see a door open in the air in front of you. You can’t see what’s beyond. It’s as dark as the place you’re coming from. Do you go through to the other side, or do you stay with the person you’ve known all your life—your corpse? When a man dies, he can go into the unknown or stay on the side he understands, even if it’s not a side he was particularly fond of in life. I stayed. That’s all there is to it. We all stayed for one reason or another originally, but the house is why we stay now.

People call it that eyesore at 633 Acorn Street. We haunt to keep it that way[RP3][TRM2].
~~~
Rebecca's comments:
[RP3] I’d keep reading!

Tia's comments:
[TRM2]  This is really well written and a great opening that intrigued the reader. I'd love to see this as a submission!


Rebecca - Pages!
Tia - Pages!

Please email us at operationawesome6 [at] gmail [dot] com for submission information. Congrats!




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