And now, it's time for this week's synopsis critique! The author of DEFINING LOVE, a 67,000-word New Adult Paranormal Romance, submitted this synopsis. My in-line comments are [blue and in brackets], and I'll include a summary at the end. Feel free to comment below!
If you'd like a primer on how to write a synopsis, see my posts here and here. And if you want your synopsis critiqued on this website, fill out the form here, or email your 1-2 page synopsis to me at operationawesome6@gmail.com, and I'll post one critique per week (NOTE: I'll email my critique to the author as soon as I'm done, so the author won't have to wait to see his/her synopsis on the site). Thanks for participating!
Synopsis
LUCINDA risks her life by venturing into the Blood Moone pack territory to find her friend, MIA. [I'm assuming the Blood Moone pack is werewolves, but it's worth being specific about that up front] Instead she stumbles across DYLAN, her childhood best friend, turned mate, that rejected her and is the single reason she’s a lone wolf with no pack, aka a rogue. After her encounter with Dylan, Lucinda’s first reaction is to leave the territory immediately, abandoning her soul [sole] purpose for being there - seeking help to escape her psychotic ex-lover that is tracking her. [I thought her reason for being there was to find Mia? Or is she finding Mia to help her escape her psychotic ex-lover? In other words, this is a little confusing as written] However, she piques the interest of the pack Alpha, CAIDEN, and he takes her wolf on a run in the forest, where he convinces her to stay for a couple of days. [There are a lot of characters introduced in this paragraph. I'd suggest leaving out Mia's name, since she seems the least significant (barely appears again elsewhere in the synopsis). Instead, just refer to her as 'her friend' or 'her best friend' or whatever is accurate. Then we're only introduced to Lucinda, Dylan, and Caiden in this paragraph, and that's manageable]
FELIX, the nightmare of a man Lucinda is desperately trying to escape, cross[es] paths with Lucinda and Mia while shopping in a public and very crowded mall. [When does this happen? Give readers a little more to help orient them and connect the dots with the preceding paragraph: 'A few days after her run with Caiden...' or 'Weeks later...' or something like that] In a desperate attempt to protect the innocent from bloodshed, Lucinda reluctantly agrees to leave with Felix. Though the entire time she’s plotting her escape. [This is a sentence fragment. You can just add it after a comma to the preceding sentence, though I'd change the syntax to '...agrees to leave with Felix, though she's plotting her escape the entire time.'] After an eerie conversation with another captive, [where does Felix take her? How is she being held captive?] Lucinda hastens her escape. Dylan is sent to free Lucinda, however by the time he finds her, Felix has already whipped her over good. [Does that mean literally whipping, or is it a less-specific phrase that means physical abuse?] She agrees to return to the Blood Moone pack until she is fully healed.
Caiden is a broken man. Haunted by the dark secret of a raging beast that resides within him, and guilt-ridden over the death of his mate, whom he couldn’t protect. [Either combine the preceding two sentences (use a colon after 'broken man' and follow with 'he is haunted...') or combine the last sentence with this next one] Caiden puts distance between him and his pack. When he meets Lucinda, he sees a chance at redemption from his prior failures. He struggles with the choice of protecting his pack and shunning Lucinda, merely a rogue wolf whom [who] desperately needs his help; or putting his pack in danger by helping Lucinda, redeeming himself from self-imposed guilt and reclaiming his self-worth. [How would helping Lucinda put his pack in danger? Because of Felix? Be specific here]
Attitudes in the Blood Moone pack escalate [what does it mean to have attitudes escalating? Tempers could escalate, or tensions, or possibly bad attitudes, but just saying attitudes isn't descriptive enough] and certain people of power have their own agenda, which is not favorable to Caiden. Despite his resistance, Lucinda and Caiden have grown close. With Mia’s prodding, Lucinda reluctantly agrees to stay in the Blood Moone territory and help strengthen the pack by encouraging confidence in Caiden’s leadership. [Why is she reluctant to stay? It seems like she doesn't really have another option]
Felix returns and captures Caiden by surprise. He hopes to persuade Lucinda into a trade. [What is the trade? Caiden for Lucinda, or something else?] Caiden’s raging beast is released and the slaughter Felix planned is ruined, [who was he planning to slaughter?] but not before Lucinda is injured. Felix flees during the chaos. During Lucinda’s recovery, Felix proposes a peace treaty: Lucinda in exchange for the pack’s safety. Lucinda overhears a conversation between Dylan and Caiden, both men state they will not take Lucinda as a mate, but they can think of no other way to protect her from Felix. [Why are they resistant to taking Lucinda as a mate? Because she's a rogue? It seems like Caiden already likes her, so we need a short explanation here]
As an attempt to save Caiden and his pack from ultimate destruction, and to mend a broken heart, Lucinda leaves in the middle of the night. She goes to Felix and makes him promise he’ll leave the Blood Moone pack alone if she agrees to the mating ritual. But he is not to be trusted. He holds Lucinda captive and sends a raiding party with a single instruction: bring back Caiden’s head on a stake.
Lucinda frees herself and attacks Felix. Successfully knocking him out in a fit of rage but before she can finish him off, Felix’s disgraceful band of followers turn on her. [I would change these sentences around a bit. Combine the first sentence with the first part of the second ('...attacks Felix, successfully knocking him out in a fit of rage.') and then use the second part of the second sentence as its own sentence ('But before she can finish him off...')] Having survived the earlier ambush, Caiden and Dylan head to Felix’s camp and arrive in time to save Lucinda. They bring her back to the Blood Moone pack with an order to rest and heal.
In the midst of a heated argument between Lucinda and Caiden, he [Caiden] breaks pack tradition and declares his love to her. Pleading with Lucinda to stay, Caiden asks her to be his mate. Caught in a moment of passion, Caiden marks Lucinda, claiming her as his mate. [And then what happens? Felix is still around, right? Does their mating make the pack safe? Is Lucinda okay with Caiden claiming her? And if Dylan is the reason she's a rogue in the first place, is there any resolution to that part of the story? This paragraph ends a little abruptly, so a little more detail here would be useful]
DEFINING LOVE is the first book in a planned trilogy. [You don't need this detail for a synopsis. It's enough to include it in the query, while also specifying that this book stands alone, as written.]
Summary
You've got a clear beginning and middle here, but the synopsis doesn't provide a thorough ending. I was left wondering what happened with several of the characters and whether any events transpired after Caiden claimed Lucinda. Even though this is the first book in a series, you'll need to make sure all the plot loops specific to this book are closed. It would be enough to note, say, that Felix flees into the forest, that Lucinda runs away to another part of town to get away from Caiden and his pack, because she didn't want Caiden to claim her, etc. (note I have no idea what actually happens in the book, but these are suggestions of ways to assure an agent, in the synopsis, that this book ends in a satisfying way. Tailor it to your actual plot.).
Also, since this is paranormal, you've got a bit of world-building here, but I think you can add a bit more. I was curious about how the mating ritual works, in terms of protecting the rest of the pack, and why, once Lucinda was rejected and deemed a rogue wolf, she wouldn't have been welcome among the pack. These may be things that are very obvious to someone reading the manuscript, but for purposes of the synopsis, assume the reader doesn't know anything about how werewolf worlds work, and add a little explanation.
Nice job, and good luck with this manuscript!
Showing posts with label NA. Show all posts
Showing posts with label NA. Show all posts
Thursday, May 11, 2017
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
Wednesday Debut Interview: The Rearranged Life by Annika Sharma
Happy Wednesday! This month's final Wednesday Debut Interview features Annika Sharma, author of THE REARRANGED LIFE, a NA contemporary romance novel that debuted May 15th.
First off, tell us a bit about yourself!
Thank you for having me! My name is Annika. I’m in my twenties. I’m an avid lover of Starbucks, online shopping, Once Upon a Time, pizza and thunderstorms. I’m still scared of the Wicked Witch of the West. I know all the words to A Little Princess, which is one of my all-time favorite movies. And every one of my celebrity crushes is British (including the girl crushes).
How would you describe THE REARRANGED LIFE in one sentence?
A mix of east meets west, where a first generation Indian girl in the United States has to make a big choice between her past and her future when she falls in love with a handsome American.
How long as this process taken for you, from the time that you began the first draft of this book until the date of its publication?
Two years, ten months and two weeks to the day. I wrote the book in six weeks—then sat on it for a year in graduate school! I spent three months revising. It took nine months to get an agent, three months to get a book deal, and another five months to my publication date. Phew!
How have your own experiences as an Indian-American influenced those of Nithya, your protagonist?
Indian culture is absolutely beautiful—the customs, rituals and magic is thousands of years old and I come from a traditional family so I’ve been lucky to embrace it. But being first-generation comes with its own struggle: sometimes the culture we are raised in, American, and Indian can tie together seamlessly. Other times, they clash so spectacularly; there are choices to be made about which direction to go in. Things like marriage and dating are an ideological clash, and it was interesting to watch friends (and myself) go through things that made us choose one over the other. Those definitely shaped the way I wrote the story.
What part of this book did you most enjoy writing?
I loooved writing the scenes where Nithya spends time with her love interests. It’s always fun to write banter between two people who are interested in each other because it’s relatively universal how they react to each other. But between Nishanth and James, I got to weave some cultural differences in the way they speak and it was so fun to simultaneously write a flirty, similar relationship and differentiate the two with the nuances.
Every writer experiences some rejection and setbacks along the way. How did you learn to cope with them and move on?
It can be so hard to drown out the voices! I don’t know if I’ve ever completely gotten over it—some comments definitely stick harder than others. An agent once said she wasn’t interested in knowing what happened to the characters, which hurts after you’ve spent months creating them. You have to learn to filter the criticism that helps, like, “Your pace isn’t steady,” versus “You suck,” and see what you can use to make your future work better.
How did you find your publisher? What makes them a good fit for you and your book?
My agent, Stacey Donaghy, had experience with CQ and said they really catered to authors. For a first timer, they were gentle (ha) and really showed me the ropes gradually. I felt so taken care of and they tried so hard to a) allow me in on every process and b) make me happy. The editing process between Lisa, my editor, and I felt so collaborative. I loved my experience with CQ.
Tell us about your cover. Who designed it? How much say did you have in it? What do you want it to tell your readers about your story?
Eugene Teplitsky of CQ designed this cover. We must have gone through forty drafts!
Marketing, Eugene, my editor, agent and I all had to agree—and I had a lot of say. This cover was so hard because we wanted to capture the “Indianness” of the story—but Nithya grew up in the United States so she blends into American culture. We also had to capture the American side—but we couldn’t go too far in that direction either. Add a relationship, college, and fun/flirtiness with a serious twist to it…there were a LOT of elements to sort through! Ultimately I think we got it.
I think so! It's lovely!
Tell us about your title. Was this the original title you'd had in mind?
It was the original title, believe it or not. I briefly toyed with Threads that Bind or something, but I wanted to play on arranged marriages, how Nithya’s life takes a different direction than expected and how it wasn’t broken—just set up differently.
What's next for you after this book debuts? Have you started working on another book?
I turned in my second manuscript to my agent and am currently with toying with ideas for a third! I’m so excited to hopefully have more books out there soon.
How does it feel to finally have your book out in the hands of readers? Do you have any events planned you want people to know about?
I’m currently alternating between being so excited I can’t speak and breathing into a paper bag.
So far, reviews have been largely positive so I’m taking that to heart and reminding myself to look at those when the inevitable negative one comes through. On May 26th, I’ll be a part of a mult-author New Adult Debut Party on Facebook and I’ll be at RWA in July!
Is there any other advice you'd like to pass on to others pursuing publication? Anything you would have done differently?
I went to this leadership conference in college and their tenet was, “Have a healthy disregard for the impossible.” I loved that. The odds are always against you but it’s up to you how much credibility you give them. Work hard. Wanting to give up is natural. Keep going anyway, especially if you feel passionate about it. If I could have done something differently…I might have done more research into storytelling tactics, so I could pinpoint what I love about certain stories. But overall, I like to think things happen for a reason, so the story and the process happened the way it should.
And, just for fun, which book in your own library do you think would be your main character Nithya's favorite?
All of my college textbooks… And Michael Crichton, Robin Cook, Jhumpa Lahiri, Abraham Varghese...literary fiction and fiction with a medical edge.
Thanks for joining us and congrats on your debut!
Thank you for having me! My name is Annika. I’m in my twenties. I’m an avid lover of Starbucks, online shopping, Once Upon a Time, pizza and thunderstorms. I’m still scared of the Wicked Witch of the West. I know all the words to A Little Princess, which is one of my all-time favorite movies. And every one of my celebrity crushes is British (including the girl crushes).
How would you describe THE REARRANGED LIFE in one sentence?
A mix of east meets west, where a first generation Indian girl in the United States has to make a big choice between her past and her future when she falls in love with a handsome American.
How long as this process taken for you, from the time that you began the first draft of this book until the date of its publication?
Two years, ten months and two weeks to the day. I wrote the book in six weeks—then sat on it for a year in graduate school! I spent three months revising. It took nine months to get an agent, three months to get a book deal, and another five months to my publication date. Phew!
How have your own experiences as an Indian-American influenced those of Nithya, your protagonist?
Indian culture is absolutely beautiful—the customs, rituals and magic is thousands of years old and I come from a traditional family so I’ve been lucky to embrace it. But being first-generation comes with its own struggle: sometimes the culture we are raised in, American, and Indian can tie together seamlessly. Other times, they clash so spectacularly; there are choices to be made about which direction to go in. Things like marriage and dating are an ideological clash, and it was interesting to watch friends (and myself) go through things that made us choose one over the other. Those definitely shaped the way I wrote the story.
What part of this book did you most enjoy writing?
I loooved writing the scenes where Nithya spends time with her love interests. It’s always fun to write banter between two people who are interested in each other because it’s relatively universal how they react to each other. But between Nishanth and James, I got to weave some cultural differences in the way they speak and it was so fun to simultaneously write a flirty, similar relationship and differentiate the two with the nuances.
Every writer experiences some rejection and setbacks along the way. How did you learn to cope with them and move on?
It can be so hard to drown out the voices! I don’t know if I’ve ever completely gotten over it—some comments definitely stick harder than others. An agent once said she wasn’t interested in knowing what happened to the characters, which hurts after you’ve spent months creating them. You have to learn to filter the criticism that helps, like, “Your pace isn’t steady,” versus “You suck,” and see what you can use to make your future work better.
How did you find your publisher? What makes them a good fit for you and your book?
My agent, Stacey Donaghy, had experience with CQ and said they really catered to authors. For a first timer, they were gentle (ha) and really showed me the ropes gradually. I felt so taken care of and they tried so hard to a) allow me in on every process and b) make me happy. The editing process between Lisa, my editor, and I felt so collaborative. I loved my experience with CQ.
Tell us about your cover. Who designed it? How much say did you have in it? What do you want it to tell your readers about your story?
Eugene Teplitsky of CQ designed this cover. We must have gone through forty drafts!
Marketing, Eugene, my editor, agent and I all had to agree—and I had a lot of say. This cover was so hard because we wanted to capture the “Indianness” of the story—but Nithya grew up in the United States so she blends into American culture. We also had to capture the American side—but we couldn’t go too far in that direction either. Add a relationship, college, and fun/flirtiness with a serious twist to it…there were a LOT of elements to sort through! Ultimately I think we got it.
I think so! It's lovely!
Tell us about your title. Was this the original title you'd had in mind?
It was the original title, believe it or not. I briefly toyed with Threads that Bind or something, but I wanted to play on arranged marriages, how Nithya’s life takes a different direction than expected and how it wasn’t broken—just set up differently.
What's next for you after this book debuts? Have you started working on another book?
I turned in my second manuscript to my agent and am currently with toying with ideas for a third! I’m so excited to hopefully have more books out there soon.
How does it feel to finally have your book out in the hands of readers? Do you have any events planned you want people to know about?
I’m currently alternating between being so excited I can’t speak and breathing into a paper bag.
So far, reviews have been largely positive so I’m taking that to heart and reminding myself to look at those when the inevitable negative one comes through. On May 26th, I’ll be a part of a mult-author New Adult Debut Party on Facebook and I’ll be at RWA in July!
Is there any other advice you'd like to pass on to others pursuing publication? Anything you would have done differently?
I went to this leadership conference in college and their tenet was, “Have a healthy disregard for the impossible.” I loved that. The odds are always against you but it’s up to you how much credibility you give them. Work hard. Wanting to give up is natural. Keep going anyway, especially if you feel passionate about it. If I could have done something differently…I might have done more research into storytelling tactics, so I could pinpoint what I love about certain stories. But overall, I like to think things happen for a reason, so the story and the process happened the way it should.
And, just for fun, which book in your own library do you think would be your main character Nithya's favorite?
All of my college textbooks… And Michael Crichton, Robin Cook, Jhumpa Lahiri, Abraham Varghese...literary fiction and fiction with a medical edge.
Thanks for joining us and congrats on your debut!
BUY THE REARRANGED LIFE HERE!
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
Wednesday Debut Interview: Run Away by Laura Salters
It's Wednesday again, which means we have yet another Wednesday Debut Interview for you! Today Laura Salters is telling us all about her New Adult Suspense novel, RUN AWAY, which debuted yesterday!
First off, tell us a bit about yourself!
Okay! I’m a 24-year-old chatterbox with a coffee addiction. I come from the northernmost town in England, so I’m a proper northern girl. I’m a trained journalist and worked at a lifestyle magazine for two years after graduating. Addicted to Netflix, running and all things chocolate.
How would you describe RUN AWAY in one sentence? Where did the idea for this mystery come from?
First off, tell us a bit about yourself!
Okay! I’m a 24-year-old chatterbox with a coffee addiction. I come from the northernmost town in England, so I’m a proper northern girl. I’m a trained journalist and worked at a lifestyle magazine for two years after graduating. Addicted to Netflix, running and all things chocolate.
How would you describe RUN AWAY in one sentence? Where did the idea for this mystery come from?
One sentence?? That’s mean! How about this: When the love of Kayla’s life vanishes in Thailand, she returns to England with the niggling feeling that his disappearance is linked to another recent tragedy in her life—and with the help of her shrink and an ambitious detective, she’s determined to get to the bottom of the mystery.
The idea for the story was inspired by a few things. I was intrigued by the up-and-coming New Adult genre (college age characters and mature themes) but most of what I was reading was contemporary romance. Which is awesome, but I wanted something a little different. So I thought, what if we could combine this sexy romance with something darker and more suspenseful?
How long as this process taken for you, from the time that you began the first draft of this book until the date of its publication?
The idea for the story was inspired by a few things. I was intrigued by the up-and-coming New Adult genre (college age characters and mature themes) but most of what I was reading was contemporary romance. Which is awesome, but I wanted something a little different. So I thought, what if we could combine this sexy romance with something darker and more suspenseful?
How long as this process taken for you, from the time that you began the first draft of this book until the date of its publication?
I started the first draft of RUN AWAY in July 2013 and finished eight weeks later in September. I signed with Suzie Townsend in April 2014, went through a lot of edits then sold my manuscript to Emily Krump at HarperCollins in September 2014. So I guess it was pretty fast!!
This book takes place in Thailand and England. Do you have any personal connection to these places? How did you research these settings?
This book takes place in Thailand and England. Do you have any personal connection to these places? How did you research these settings?
The England portions of the novel are set in Northumberland, which is where I’ve lived since I was born, so I didn’t have to do much research for those scenes. However, I’ve never been to Thailand so that required a lot more thought. I used Lonely Planet a lot, but my favourite thing to do was to search for pictures of the locations on Pinterest or Instagram, then describe what I saw in my own words! It was so fun to do. I think I’ll always use exotic settings in my work.
What part of this book did you most enjoy writing?
What part of this book did you most enjoy writing?
Without a doubt the fun scenes when Kayla is in Thailand with her new group of friends. I loved writing the witty dialogue, romantic moments and drunken antics.
Every writer experiences some rejection and setbacks along the way. How did you learn to cope with them and move on?
Every writer experiences some rejection and setbacks along the way. How did you learn to cope with them and move on?
I think you have to accept that it’s always going to be a part of the journey. I know a romcom author who’s had an incredibly successful career, publishing over 15 books, but she;s having a huge dry spell and hasn’t sold a project for years. It’s heartbreaking, but it’s part of the journey—it’ll always be an inherently subjective industry. I mainly get through it by drinking wine, cuddling my dog and visiting my best friend and lovely goddaughter.
How did you find your publisher? What makes them a good fit for you and your book?
How did you find your publisher? What makes them a good fit for you and your book?
Through my wonderful agent! She pitched it to Emily Krump, who works for HarperCollins imprints William Morrow and Witness Impulse, and thankfully she loved the book as much as we do. From day one she’s been so enthusiastic, calling RUN AWAY “highly addictive” and “pure entertainment”—so by the time I spoke to her on the phone for the first time (she’s based in New York), I already knew it was going to be a great fit. I was right!
Your book cover is very striking. Who designed it? How much say did you have in it?
Your book cover is very striking. Who designed it? How much say did you have in it?
Thank you! The wonderful design department at HarperCollins produced it. I had a lot of say, which was so awesome—I sent them a selection of covers I really loved, one of which was Beautiful Disaster. In the end, that hugely inspired our finished cover, but we used black, white and red to give it more of a suspenseful vibe. I adore it!
Tell us about your title. Was this the original title you'd had in mind? If not, what made you change it?
Tell us about your title. Was this the original title you'd had in mind? If not, what made you change it?
Oh, titles. My Achilles heel. I can’t quite emphasise enough how awful I am at thinking of titles. I think RUN AWAY was the sixth or seventh working title? It changed three times as I was writing until I settled on THE WING CLIPPER. When I signed with Suzie it became SPREAD YOUR WINGS AND FALL, then just AND FALL. It’s been a lot of different things! We wanted something punchy and gripping.
Can you tell us about some of the things you been working on between signing a contract for RUN AWAY and its release?
Can you tell us about some of the things you been working on between signing a contract for RUN AWAY and its release?
Sure! I’ve been working on another suspense novel called JUMP, which is set at a music festival in Serbia, plus I’ve been throwing myself into a YA fantasy series. I like to have lots of different things on the go at once. Currently fighting the urge to try my hand at screenwriting after I attended an amazing workshop through New Writing North!
How does it feel to finally have your book out in the hands of readers?
How does it feel to finally have your book out in the hands of readers?
Terrifying. Surreal. Exciting. Nervewracking. Exhilarating.
Is there any other advice you'd like to pass on to others pursuing publication? Anything you would have done differently?
Is there any other advice you'd like to pass on to others pursuing publication? Anything you would have done differently?
Just finish your manuscript. You wouldn’t get halfway through a marathon and think, “Well, I’ve got this far, but I think I could have done it better, so I’ll go back and do the first half again.” It’s the same with writing—don’t get halfway through a project and be tempted to go back and edit the first half. Reach the end. Once you have a first draft, then you can think about editing, restructuring and polishing. And don’t get disheartened! You’ve all heard the lines. “You can’t break into publishing unless you know someone.” “You’ll never make a living from writing.” “It’s not a real career.” Ignore them. Be positive. Be ruthlessly optimistic. Throw yourself into your passion.
And, just for fun, which book in your own library do you think would be your main character Kayla's favorite?
And, just for fun, which book in your own library do you think would be your main character Kayla's favorite?
What a fun question!! I think she loves THE HUMANS by Matt Haig.
Thanks for the interview, Laura, and congrats on your debut!!
Buy RUN AWAY here!
Monday, September 16, 2013
Query Critique Call Sept 2013
Once again I'm calling for brave souls who would like to get their query critiqued by me (Angelica), and other OAers who will chime in
as their schedule allows. Plus, the public can add their thoughts and
encouragement in the comments.
The Rafflecopter will be open through September 23rd, and the critiqued query will go up on September 30. We need a contact in your entry, but it's okay to disguise your email from bots by formatting it like youremail (at) gmail (dotcom).
So if you're up for joining us in this experiment, you must sign up below and then leave a comment telling us what age/genre your book is. This last bit has no bearing on whether you are selected since Rafflecopter does the choosing for us, but it's always interesting to see what you're working on. We will be emailing the winner and announcing their name on Twitter and Facebook on September 24, so it's worth your while to follow those accounts!
a Rafflecopter giveaway
The Rafflecopter will be open through September 23rd, and the critiqued query will go up on September 30. We need a contact in your entry, but it's okay to disguise your email from bots by formatting it like youremail (at) gmail (dotcom).
So if you're up for joining us in this experiment, you must sign up below and then leave a comment telling us what age/genre your book is. This last bit has no bearing on whether you are selected since Rafflecopter does the choosing for us, but it's always interesting to see what you're working on. We will be emailing the winner and announcing their name on Twitter and Facebook on September 24, so it's worth your while to follow those accounts!
a Rafflecopter giveaway
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