Dear O'Abby: How do I transition from kids' books to books for adults?

 Dear O'Abby,

I am a kid-lit author with several published MG and picture books to my name.  I have also published a couple of YA  novels for younger YA readers.  I love writing for young people, but the new book I am working on is very different and will definitely be for adults.  

I'm wondering if you know anything about how to transition to this new audience without having to use a pseudonym.  With such an extensive publishing history, I don't want to lose the name recognition even though I'm targeting a different audience.

Yours truly,

Transitory

Dear Transitory,

Darn it!  You've already eliminated the most obvious answer here - to use a pseudonym.  But I understand your reasons for not doing this and respect them.

Firstly, I would ask if you currently have an agent representing your kidlit projects?  If so, do they also represent adult books?  If they do, they will be in a far better position to guide you through this transition than I.  But given you've asked here, I suspect you either don't have an agent or your agent does not represent adult books.

So...  If it's the latter, you need to talk to your current agent.  Let them know that your new book doesn't fit in the wheelhouse of your previous work. Depending on your working relationship, she may be willing to explore new avenues on your behalf.  Or there may be another agent at the agency who could represent your new project and the two agents could work together on your career.

If you don't already have an agent, or your current agent doesn't have any leads for you, you will probably want to query your new book when it is ready.  Research widely for agents best suited to your new work. Make sure that when you query you let the agents know that you have a body of work and (if it is the case) and agent already representing this facet of your career.  This will give you a leg up on authors that don't already have a track record of publishing and working with an agent.

Obviously the whole querying thing is a lot of work and if you feel like this book is a one-off and you probably won't write another adult book, you may not want to do this.  It may also be harder to get an agent for the project because agents tend to like working with writers' careers, rather than single books.  If this sounds like you, there is always self-publishing or even working with a small press that doesn't require an agent to submit.

There are so many variables!

Hopefully this is helpful.

Best of luck with finishing the new book.

X O'Abby

May 2019 Pass or Pages Entry Form

We are now accepting entries for Pass Or Pages! Before you enter, be sure to check out the rules. This month's round of Pass Or Pages is for Adult Historical Fiction. Any entry not falling under that umbrella will be deleted. The entry window closes on Friday, May 17 at 6 p.m. Eastern.

The form will not allow you to show italics or other formatting, but if your entry is chosen you'll have time to let us know of any formatting you need fixed.

Remember, with great power comes great responsibility!

May Pass or Pages Agent Panel

Meet the agents who are going to critique your Adult Historical Fiction entries!

Katelyn Uplinger

D4EO Literary Agency

After several years of editorial work and positions at multiple literary agencies including Folio Literary Management and Inklings Literary, Katelyn joined D4EO Literary as an agent in 2018. Katelyn enjoys books with unforgettable stories and characters. She searches for books that can transport her to another time or place or teach her something new.  Katelyn loves when a book can grip her emotions enough to make her laugh or cry. While she enjoy happy endings, she doesn’t shy away from dark stories or tragic romances.

Ann Leslie Tuttle

Dystel, Goderich & Bourret

Ann Leslie Tuttle joined DG&B in 2017 after working for 20 years at Harlequin Books where she worked on an extensive and varied list of bestselling and award-winning titles in romance and women’s fiction. She received her B.A. degree from the College of William and Mary and an M.A. from the University of Virginia. Helping to grow the careers of established and debut writers has always been Ann Leslie’s passion. Ann Leslie is especially seeking women’s fiction (e.g. relationships, family sagas, historical fiction and psychological thrillers) romance (e.g. romantic comedies, medical romance and contemporaries) and Southern Gothics on the adult fiction side as well as Middle Grade fiction and narrative nonfiction. Ann Leslie lives in New York City with her husband and young daughter, who is just discovering the magic of books and writing.

Category/Genre: Adult Historical Fiction

Details for May 2019 Pass or Pages:

Entry starts: Monday, May 13 at 6 a.m. Eastern
Ends: Friday, May 17 at 6 p.m. Eastern
Category/Genre: Adult Historical Fiction
How To Enter: Fill out the entry form on the contest post when it goes live
What Is Required: Your query (NO BIO or personalization for agents), your first 250 words, a complete and polished MS

You can also read more about the rules here.

The winning entries with agent commentary will be posted on Operation Awesome the week of May 27, one entry each day. If you aren't comfortable with having your entry (which will be anonymous) shared on the blog, please don't enter Pass or Pages!

If you have any questions, please ask in the comments or tweet @OpAwesome6. Also, feel free to chat about the contest with fellow participants on the hashtag #PassOrPages.

Synopsis Critique #11: Adult Fiction

And now, it's time for this week's synopsis critique! The author of CHASING NIGHT, a 79,600-word Adult Fiction, submitted this synopsis. My in-line comments are [blue and in brackets], and I'll include a summary at the end. Feel free to comment below!

If you'd like a primer on how to write a synopsis, see my posts here and here. And if you want your synopsis critiqued on this website, fill out the form here, or email your 1-2 page synopsis to me at operationawesome6@gmail.com, and I'll post one critique per week (NOTE: I'll email my critique to the author as soon as I'm done, so the author won't have to wait to see his/her synopsis on the site). Thanks for participating!

Synopsis

JONATHAN MCCULLOCH is the sole heir to his family's fortune and a curse that has haunted his male ancestors for generations. When Jonathan is thirteen, his mother tells him the truth of his family history: that all McCulloch men, while gifted with charm and good looks are also selfish and self-destructive. But if he's fated to make a mess of his life, Jonathan decides, he's going to have fun doing it. So he spends his nights knee-deep in debauchery, a stark contrast to summer days devoted to indulging his love of reading in the public library. [Is Jonathan still thirteen when he makes this decision and begins his debaucherous lifestyle? If not, you should clarify that he's older by the end of the paragraph] One day, Jonathan arrives at the library and discovers a shy girl named ALY has taken his favorite chair. The two share a love of reading and soon become unlikely friends. After graduation, Jonathan abandons the East Coast for college at Stanford, only to return home to Virginia when his mother passes away. There, he renews his friendship with Aly and makes an impulsive decision to seduce her. [So here, Jonathan is a college freshman? Eighteen/nineteen is awfully young to 'seduce' someone. He might hit on her, ask her out, etc., but, to me, seduction implies an older, experienced person who knows how to be suave and charming. 18/19-year-old guys are generally a bit more bumbling than that. If Jonathan has racked up this kind of experience by that age, it's worth pointing out.] Although Aly loves Jonathan, she repeatedly resists his attempts at seduction, citing a purity pledge she made as a teen. [Isn't she still a teen?] Nevertheless, Jonathan continues his pursuit, satisfying his darker urges with a nightly stream of wild parties and willing women. Jonathan nearly succeeds in convincing Aly to surrender her virginity on a trip to Italy following his graduation from law school. [So it's been at least seven years since they met, right? Why is Jonathan so focused on winning Aly? You've noted that she loves him, but why does he stay with her?] She stops him at the last minute, and Jonathan retreats to the hotel's bar where he comes to the drunken conclusion that his only remaining option is to marry Aly. [So far, Jonathan is not coming off as a particularly likeable main character. That's okay (I love writing unlikeable characters!), but consider giving him a redeeming characteristic or two and dropping them in throughout the synopsis] Back in Virginia, Jonathan finds a longed-for distraction in KAT, the cunning [what does 'cunning' mean in this context? Not sure this is the right adjective to use unless you're going to tell us how he knows Kat is cunning this early on] trophy wife of one of his firm's senior partners. But Jonathan can't keep Aly out of his mind, even when he's with Kat, so he proposes to Aly, and they marry several months later. Although he and Aly are happy together, Jonathan continues his affair with Kat, believing he's unable to remain faithful to only one woman. [Why does he believe this? Just based on what his mother told him? Did he ever tell Aly about this?] On the night of their second wedding anniversary, Aly bravely performs a strip tease while reciting Elizabeth Barrett Browning's "How Do I Love Thee." [This is a really colorful detail] Jonathan realizes he's in love with his wife, although he's afraid to say the words aloud. [What is he afraid of?] A few weeks later, Aly discovers she's expecting a baby. Newly-reformed Jonathan remains faithful to Aly throughout her pregnancy. He cuts off contact with Kat, believing his ex-mistress will simply let him go. But soon after his son, MICHAEL, is born Kat shows up at the mansion [what mansion?] and blackmails Jonathan into continuing their affair. [How does she do this? It's worth saying what she does so the reader will understand why Jonathan goes along with it] Aly becomes pregnant with twins when Michael is three but suffers a late-term miscarriage following a car accident. Jonathan's guilt about the accident [was he driving?] drives yet another wedge between the grieving couple. He physically isolates himself until Aly confronts him in his office one night, begging him to come home. Jonathan does, and several years later Aly becomes pregnant again – this time with a little girl they name GABY. Michael is gentle and unselfish like his mother, but Gaby is a different story. Believing he's passed along the family curse to his daughter, Jonathan pulls away even more. By the time Michael is ten and Gaby is three, Jonathan has become little more than an absentee father. After Jonathan misses Michael's art show to meet with Kat, Aly confronts him, revealing her suspicions about his infidelity and demanding the truth. Jonathan confesses everything, including his love for Aly, and begs for a second chance. Aly wants to forgive Jonathan, but she's confused and upset. So after one final night together, she and the kids set off on a cross-country road trip to see her sister in Colorado. [Good! I'm glad to see Aly take this step] When Jonathan wakes the next morning, Aly and the kids are gone. The only information the family's butler can give him is their planned destination and Aly's promise to call upon arrival. But she never does, and after several days – during which Jonathan misses an assignation with Kat and confesses the affair to his boss – he begins to fear something is wrong. [Any repercussions after he confesses the affair to his boss (presumably Kat's husband)?] While trying to outrun a blizzard to her sister's house, Aly's SUV plummets off the side of the road and into a wooded valley. Aly and the kids find shelter in a small cave about a mile from the accident site. [Did she not have a phone? Were they so far from the road she couldn't flag down someone for help?] After Gaby succumbs to her injuries [wait, she dies? If so, say that. "Succumbs" is a little too polite] and Aly realizes she too is unlikely to survive, she sends a mostly uninjured Michael out to find help with the last of their provisions and a message for Jonathan. Michael can't bring himself to leave his mother alone to die, so he doubles back and witnesses her final moments. The second time he leaves the cave, he walks deeper into the forest instead of back to the road. Jonathan and a search party find Aly and Gaby's bodies several weeks later [how did they know where to look?] , but Michael has disappeared without a trace. A few months after the accident, Jonathan temporarily loses his hold on reality and is admitted to the hospital on a psychiatric hold. Kat picks him up after his release, disguised as his chauffeur, and extorts three million dollars from him as compensation for her pain and suffering. [What pain and suffering? And I'd forgotten that Jonathan is wealthy. He's wealthy enough to be able to give her that much, or does it bankrupt him?] Years pass, during which Jonathan continues to isolate himself from the outside world. The butler and his wife, more family now than employees, are his only company. Every May he and his sister-in-law search the accident site for clues related to Michael's disappearance. Jonathan spares no expense in the search, but the case has gone cold. Those closest to Jonathan encourage him to forgive himself for his past transgressions and move on as Aly would want, but he is unwilling. Eventually, Jonathan's beloved companions [butler and his wife?] both pass away, leaving Jonathan completely alone. After twelve years of no income and mounting expenses, the McCulloch fortune finally runs out. Jonathan sells the mansion to pay his debts and plans to relocate to Denver. The U-Haul is packed and ready to go, but before Jonathan leaves, he spends one last night sifting through a safe full of his most precious memories, reliving the past one item at a time. As morning comes, Jonathan's attention is drawn to a figure standing in the doorway. When he recognizes his long-lost son, he weeps with joy. [How old is Michael now? If he was ten when the accident happened and at least twelve years have passed, would Jonathan recognize his twenty-something son? And where has Michael been this whole time?] He and Michael sit on the front doorstep and talk about the past. As Michael witnesses his father's remorse, his anger begins to fade. When he shares the truth of his mother's final hours, and the gift of forgiveness she gave, Jonathan is finally able to let go of his past and the curse he once believed controlled his life. [And do what? If this character truly changes throughout the book, I'd want to know what actions he takes at the end that reflect those changes]

Summary

I've included a lot of comments here, but they're exclusively about character motivation and plot questions. This is a VERY strong synopsis. You've followed all the rules, and the synopsis has a through-line from beginning to middle to end. I wasn't confused at any point. In revising, just think about addressing some of these questions, but structurally, I wouldn't change a thing.

Fantastic job, and best of luck with the book!

Synopsis Critique #10 - Adult Suspense

And now, it's time for this week's synopsis critique! The author of ELEGY FOR THE LIVING, a 75,000-word Adult Suspense novel, submitted this synopsis. My in-line comments are [blue and in brackets], and I'll include a summary at the end. Feel free to comment below!

If you'd like a primer on how to write a synopsis, see my posts here and here. And if you want your synopsis critiqued on this website, fill out the form here, or email your 1-2 page synopsis to me at operationawesome6@gmail.com, and I'll post one critique per week (NOTE: I'll email my critique to the author as soon as I'm done, so the author won't have to wait to see his/her synopsis on the site). Thanks for participating!

Synopsis

It’s 1945. [Where? A lot of things were going on in 1945, so adding the location will help situate the reader quickly] Celia Turner is content working as a nurse and living with her mother, Pamela. [How old is Celia?] She dislikes the seedy town and the small-minded people who have labeled her a ‘spinster.’
Celia and her mother share a secret - Pamela is really Celia’s grandmother. [I'd add ', her Nana' here if you want to refer to her as Nana throughout the rest of the synopsis] Because Celia was born out-of-wedlock, Pamela moved the two of them to Manchester hoping to start a new life free from gossip and rejection. Pamela is Celia’s Nana. [You can delete this sentence, because you told us Pamela is Celia's grandmother in the first sentence] Celia has a secret of her own. She grieves for the father she will never have. [What happened to her mother?] [Also, Celia's grief for her unknown father never recurs in the synopsis. Either delete that sentence or describe how it impacts her actions and/or decision-making throughout the rest of the novel]
When she reluctantly (at first) becomes involved with David - a physician completing his residency – her world is flipped upside-down. [What specifically happens to cause her world to flip? Because she's fallen in love with him? Because he's not who he says he is? Add a little detail here] After a hasty wedding, they plan to move to his home-town of Elegy, a place no one has ever heard of. But when Nana falls [Pick either Pamela or Nana to refer to her consistently throughout the synopsis], breaking an ankle, he reluctantly agrees to take her with them - temporarily.
The mountain-locked village seems perfect – at first. After David discovers she’s [Celia's] pregnant, [I'd change this so the focus remains on Celia: 'After Celia tells David she's pregnant...'] he grows distant and uncommunicative - as do the people of Elegy. The residents are harboring a strange secret and Celia and Nana set out to learn what it is.
As Celia’s pregnancy advances, her marriage deteriorates regardless of [despite] her efforts to salvage it. And when she unearths the deadly secret, she is torn with indecision. The residents believe that the surrounding mountains form a magnetic vortex where the souls of the deceased remain until reincarnated at birth. [Is there any evidence that this is actually occurring? In other words, is it accurate to label this novel as magical realism, or are the townspeople's beliefs about the vortex false, and Celia's goal is to discredit them and/or protect herself (rather than utilizing magic in some way)?] To maintain the fragile ecological balance, with each birth, the eldest person must die. [Do the mountains somehow cause the deaths or do the townspeople actively kill the elderly?] Celia’s dream of raising her child in a clean, safe community with a loving father has become a nightmare. Initially heart-broken, her sadness turns to anger. [What does she do to manifest that anger?]
The residents, fearing Nana will reveal the secret to the rest of the world, make it clear that she cannot leave. [Why are the residents concerned about Nana, as opposed to Celia? And if Celia left and gave birth elsewhere, wouldn't that protect Nana?] Nana’s name is entered on the list of those next to die – the second from the top.
Winter is coming. There is only one other pregnant woman in town so Nana and Celia devise a plan for Nana to escape in the spring. But when Celia discovers she is carrying twins, the date must be moved up. [Again, why doesn't Celia just leave? Is she still loyal to her husband, who has tricked her into coming to this town and doesn't seem to speak to her anymore? If she is still loyal, why?] A sudden blizzard approaches and the only road out will be blocked for months. Celia and Nana have no choice. They must leave tonight. After dark.
On the way down the mountain, the car slides into a snowbank. Nana is injured. Labor begins but Celia manages to walk back into town where she discovers that the woman she thought was her friend intends to let her die and take the babies. And the woman she thought was her enemy, comes to her rescue. [Who are these women? Consider introducing them earlier in the synopsis, because then the role-reversal described here will have more of an impact] [How specifically does her enemy come to her rescue?]
Spring. The ground thaws and Celia stands at the grave of the only mother she’s ever known [So Nana dies? We definitely need more detail about how and when that happened] holding twins that bear no resemblance to either her or David. [So... there is a magical element here? Or did someone switch the babies? If Celia knows what's going on by the end, so should the reader]

Summary

This is a short, tight, well-written synopsis for what seems to be a truly creepy, suspenseful plot! Most of my critiques involve needing more in terms of character motivations, ensuring consistency throughout the main plot-line, and adding more detail to certain plot points to fill in the blanks for the reader.

Also, I'm not sure based on the synopsis whether the plot contains a fantasy or magical aspect, or whether it's purely psychological suspense/horror. If the former, you should emphasize that in the synopsis and make sure you note it in the query so agents will know what kind of book you've written (a suspense novel with a magical realism or fantastical element would be marketed differently from a realistic suspense novel).

If you want to stick with a one-page synopsis, then you can combine the first two paragraphs (as they're all set-up) and delete some of the content there. That'll leave you with some room to address some of my questions (about Celia's friends, about why Celia doesn't try to leave Elegy earlier, and especially, what happens at the end), should you choose to do so.

It sounds like an exciting book! Best of luck to you.

Synopsis Critique #9 - Adult Fantasy

And now, it's time for this week's synopsis critique! The author of THE BOY IN THE HAWTHORN, a 150,000-word Adult Fantasy, submitted this synopsis. My in-line comments are [blue and in brackets], and I'll include a summary at the end. Feel free to comment below!

If you'd like a primer on how to write a synopsis, see my posts here and here. And if you want your synopsis critiqued on this website, fill out the form here, or email your 1-2 page synopsis to me at operationawesome6@gmail.com, and I'll post one critique per week (NOTE: I'll email my critique to the author as soon as I'm done, so the author won't have to wait to see his/her synopsis on the site). Thanks for participating!

Synopsis

In his first days as a freshman at Auburn University, Ryan Aleman is eager to begin his education to become a veterinarian. [Just a quibble, but stating he's a freshman (which implies he's in undergrad), yet also beginning his education to become a vet (which implies he's in vet school) might confuse the reader as to how old he is] As he refuses to be separated from his dog, Ryan lives in a house in the country, renting from a retired professor. The house is very old and the owner claims the hawthorn tree on the side has magical powers. [Does Ryan believe this or does he question it? Is there precedent in this world for a tree with magical powers?] Every night, strange dreams about the hawthorn trouble Ryan’s sleep. As Ryan learns the campus and starts attending classes, he meets Michael, an often drunk older student who courts Ryan to join his budding fraternity, DEP. [I would spell out the Greek letters the first time you introduce the frat: Delta Epsilon Pi?] Ryan soon finds himself hosting all of the newly-forming, multicultural fraternity’s events. [Because he has a house off-campus, right? I'd specify. Also, you already described the frat as 'budding,' so you don't need to also describe it here as 'newly-forming] Though unsure he even wants to join himself, Ryan is glad to meet the other students the parties draw in. Twice, Ryan returns home to find Dr. Featherstone loitering oddly around the house with no explanation. [Who is Dr. Featherstone? The owner of the house? Since you don't reference him much below, if that's who he is, I'd leave out his name here and just say 'the house's owner.'] One evening, when Ryan steps outside a party, he finds a naked boy sobbing underneath the hawthorn tree. The boy is more than simply drunk, as Ryan soon finds a crystal cave where his bedroom should be. [Whose bedroom - Ryan's or the boy's? Add a little detail here to connect these dots] The boy uses smoke magic to learn modern English and reveals that he is the wizard Merlyn. [How does Ryan initially react to this reveal?] Once Ryan is sure that Merlyn is real, Merlyn moves in with him while they try to retrace how Merlyn arrived in Auburn, Alabama—trapped inside a hawthorn tree—and what released him during the party after a thousand years imprisoned. [Is Merlyn in danger? Trying to get home? There should be some incentive spelled out for why Ryan is helping him] Ryan and Merlyn both attend classes at the university and Ryan joins several service projects for DEP, learning that they are only a colony until they reach the required membership, dues, and service hours. [Is this info about DEP relevant here?] He and Merlyn find themselves attracted to two girls, Rebekah and Mary-Kat, who attend parties at their home. Though Ryan is not sure Merlyn is being truthful with him, they are growing closer as friends and Ryan introduces Verne, his father, who quickly takes to Merlyn. [Verne is your seventh named character. You don't need his name in here. Just refer to him as Ryan's father.] Ryan wonders if passing classes and becoming a veterinarian is still relevant in a world of magic. [So far, it seems like Ryan and Merlyn are enjoying college life, but not working too hard on figuring out Merlyn's situation. If this isn't the case, add some detail about what they're doing to achieve their goal] For instance, Merlyn shows him that someone has woven a magical net over the earth which keeps magical forces away. He breaks one line, so men can do magic, but leaves the rest intact. [I'm a little confused by this. What does it mean that 'men can do magic'? All humans, but no supernatural beings? Only men, and not women? And if men can do magic, what magical forces are being kept away? Add some clarification here]
Clues to the hawthorn’s history come in the form of other dreams had over the years from Ryan, the retired professor, his wife, and his daughter. [I'd rearrange this sentence to '...other dreams Ryan, the retired professor, his wife, and his daughter have had over the years.'] They piece clues together by tracing important stories of hawthorns from throughout history and around the world. While in the tree, Merlyn was worshiped by druids, sailed across the sea as a mast, caught a German U-Boat, and saved a young boy from drowning. [I still need to know what Merlyn's ultimate goal is. Also, do they know yet how Merlyn came to be in the tree?] Ryan juggles his adventures with Merlyn, his often-missed classwork, and his new friendships. Merlyn turns metals into gold in backyard alchemy lab, giving them money to pay rent. [That's an ideal roommate, right there] Ryan grows frustrated with his new group of friends, as he feels Michael and the fraternity are forcing him to do things he doesn’t want to do. [Like what?] At a Halloween party, Merlyn does a powerful spell to save Rebekah from a date-rape drug, drawing everyone there into a magical state where they dance and burn their clothes. [These seem like two different events, unless the magical state was to distract everyone and get Rebekah away from the drug] The next day, Merlyn reveals that he murdered the boy who tried to rape Rebekah. Ryan has to weigh his own feelings for Rebekah against Merlyn’s actions, as the police begin investigating the boy’s disappearance. [What are Ryan's feelings for Rebekah? And if they're romantic feelings, then his feelings would be somewhat aligned with Merlyn's actions, even if he didn't agree with the murder] Merlyn’s mentor, Blaise, [no name needed here] appears to tell them that Merlyn was released [from the tree?] because Nimue committed suicide. [Who's Nimue?] Ryan learns about research his teacher is doing into native languages. [Is this relevant?] When a bar they are in accidentally catches on fire, Verne convinces Merlyn to use his magic to save people. Photographs are taken of him leaping from the flames and Merlyn because famous around the city. Ryan worries over Merlyn’s new found fame, but Verne encourages Merlyn to use his magic openly. Ryan learns that all of the money from the DEP bank account was stolen, and unless they could [can] find it, the colony could never afford to [will never be able to afford to] become a full fraternity. Verne continues to act strangely, interrupting an evening with Ryan’s mother to demand that Merlyn return to Auburn to defend his reputation. [Where did Merlyn go?] Later, they find that Rebekah has committed suicide. Ryan comforts Mary-Kat and Merlyn disappears. [This feels a little abrupt. Ryan had feelings for Rebekah, right? Tell us a little about his emotional state, whether he blames Merlyn for murdering her would-be rapist, and sending Rebekah over the edge, etc.] Ryan is now dodging inquiries about two deaths. When Merlyn reappears, they discover that Verne has been controlled by Merlyn’s demon father—Turiel—all semester, and the demon brought Rebekah’s body back [he brought her body back where? to whom?] to taunt Merlyn into traveling [to] Hell to retrieve her soul. Though he is able to temporarily free Verne from the demon, Merlyn’s magic leads him too far and he steps down into Hell. Alone now, and searching [yearning?] for the non-magic part of his life, Ryan grows closer to Mary-Kat and throws a fundraiser to replace the stolen DEP funds. He discovers that it was Turiel, in Verne’s body, who killed Rebekah, all to trick Merlyn. The demon returns to Ryan’s home to meet Merlyn, [I thought Merlyn was in Hell?] who is trying to reopen the portal home. With the help of his teacher’s native language research, and a spell Merlyn taught him, Ryan helps Merlyn confront the demon. A soul Merlyn brought back from Hell occupies Rebekah’s body and joins their fight, helping them to finally destroy Turiel once and for all. Verne is killed in the process. Rebekah’s appearance changes to Nimue’s, as it was her soul Merlyn brought up from Hell. [I definitely need to know more about who Nimue is if he/she plays a major part in this plot] Merlyn is too weak to defend himself as she transforms him into a falcon and he flies away. After tracking him down, [how do they do this?] Ryan, his teacher, and Mary-Kat turn Merlyn back into a man.

Summary

This is a nicely-written synopsis and it sounds like a really interesting book! Here are my main critiques:

- What does Ryan want? Or, in other words, what's the main plot of the book, as it pertains to Ryan? I'm assuming he's trying to help Merlyn discover why he's on Earth in modern times, but is he also trying to help Merlyn get back to his time, or are they trying to fight a bigger foe, or something else? Once you make clear what Ryan wants and what's standing in his way, you can move on to...

- Be sure to trace the main plot arc throughout the synopsis. If the main plot is Ryan's attempt to help Merlyn get back to his world, then we need to know how they plan to do this, what actions they take to implement the plan, and what obstacles stand in their way. If you include information about subplots in the synopsis (here, I think the subplots are the budding romances with the girls and Ryan's attempt to remain a normal college kid through all the magical happenings around him), make sure to relate it to the main plot. But the most important thing for a synopsis to achieve is letting the reader see the beginning, middle, and end of the main plot.

So, again, start by answering these questions:

1) What does Ryan want (this can be more than one thing)?
2) What does he do to achieve these goals?
3) What stands in his way?
4) How does he overcome (or succumb to) those obstacles?
5) What's the ultimate outcome?
6) How does that outcome affect/change him as a person?

- You have a lot of named characters here and it gets a little confusing. I'd limit the names to Ryan, Merlyn, Rebekah, Nimue (once you describe who he/she is), and possibly Verne. See if you can reference everyone else generically (Rebekah's best friend, Merlyn's mentor, etc.)

Great job, and best of luck with this manuscript!

Synopsis Critique #7 - Adult Fiction

And now, it's time for this week's synopsis critique! The author of FIRST CORPSE: THE APPETIZER, an 89,000-word Adult Fiction, submitted this synopsis. My in-line comments are [blue and in brackets], and I'll include a summary at the end. Feel free to comment below!

If you'd like a primer on how to write a synopsis, see my posts here and here. And if you want your synopsis critiqued on this website, fill out the form here, or email your 1-2 page synopsis to me at operationawesome6@gmail.com, and I'll post one critique per week (NOTE: I'll email my critique to the author as soon as I'm done, so the author won't have to wait to see his/her synopsis on the site). Thanks for participating!

Synopsis

As host of the Foodie Channel’s hottest show, Food Made Whole, Lane Stevens’ next episode takes her to San Francisco, where she finds a shiny silver tray of grilled rumaki on her hotel room floor, along with a very bloody, very blue, very dead man. [This is a great opening, though I've never heard of 'rumaki.' Can you add a short description, maybe in parentheses?] In a voice reminiscent of warm caramel, Federal Agent Ryan Cooke exposes the dead man as Lane’s estranged uncle [would Lane not have recognized her uncle, even if they were estranged? Or was he so decomposed by then they had to get a forensic exam to determine his identity? If not, then how was the federal agent able to identify him?], who had protected a microscopic memory card with evidence of a deadly conspiracy aimed at the American public. [Interesting... but how does the agent know all this? Was the uncle working for the government? Can you add more details about what the conspiracy entailed, or does the agent not know (or reveal the details to Lane) at this point in the book?] Ryan doesn’t divulge that all evidence gathered by his forensics lead points to Lane. She is believed to have stolen the card. [I would combine the two preceding sentences] In fact, many parties [what parties? You can be more detailed here] think she has it, and any one of them could be the entity known only as The Employer [what kind of entity is The Employer? Give the reader just a little more to go on here. Is The Employer a mafia-type organization? Group of computer hackers? Etc.?], who sends a clear message—either Lane hands over the card, or someone else she cares about will be the next corpse. Without the card and with limited options, she has no choice but to trust Ryan, so together they stir up a plan to draw The Employer out. [What's going on with her job at this point? Has she taken a leave of absence? Is she still hosting with all this going on?] After a daring deep ocean escape from the bureau, [what bureau?] they shack up in an old safe house, dine on stale mini-mart food, and work through clues leading them to her grandmother’s diamond necklace, which they soon learn had housed the tiny card all along. But their efforts to find either the necklace or The Employer are scrambled amidst an attack by a mounted patrolman, a personal massager incident, several red herrings [can you describe at least one of the red herrings? If there's no space, then I'd leave that out. The other three incidents you describe are detailed and add a lot of color to the plot, and 'red herrings' is generic], and a shoot out in Lane’s childhood home. When they finally hold the leverage [what does this mean? Explain using details from the story] to end the ordeal, all nefarious parties pursuing the card converge on the safe house. In the commotion, Ryan is shot and Lane watches, helpless, as he dies. With all eyes on her, she drops the necklace into the blazing fire of a wood stove, [when did they get the necklace? And how? That seems like an important plot point] where the diamonds melt away, and, in theory, so does the card. The nightmare may be over, but her life isn’t the same. She isn’t the same. Lane seeks the solitude of a remote Caribbean island, hoping to reclaim some small piece of herself. But Ryan’s partner, Marco, intercepts her. [I'm not sure 'intercepts' is the right verb to use here. Do you mean he finds her, or confronts her, or something else?] Lane admits to having pocketed the gem with the memory card before she destroyed the necklace, and Marco persuades her to help him examine the data. It contains proof the nation’s health crisis [what health crisis? Be specific] did not simply evolve. It was planned, designed, marketed, and well executed for corporate profit, and was conveniently overlooked by the FDA. It is the ultimate public betrayal, and in foul hands would make a powerful bargaining chip against the U.S. government. [This is an interesting reveal] As Lane and Marco walk the shoreline discussing the fate of the card, the forensics lead accosts them. [Have we met the forensics lead before? He's the one who thinks Lane stole the card, right? You don't have a ton of names in the synopsis, so since he's important to the climax, I'd name him here] He boasts of his partnership with The Employer [does Lane ever find out more about what The Employer is and what they do?] to obtain the incriminating data, then he shoots Marco in the hip and orders Lane to hand over the memory card. Scared witless but stubborn when confronted by demands, Lane hurls the card into the waves. Marco extends a weak arm, tripping the forensics lead, and the gun tumbles to the sand. The man wields a knife over Marco’s chest, but Lane scoops up the gun, closes her eyes, and fires. Back in the states, Lane receives word that Marco will make a full recovery, and that the forensics lead she shot in the ass confessed to killing her uncle with a skewer from the grilled Rumaki. [Nitpick, but above, you don't capitalize rumaki and here you do. Just be consistent] The Employer is still at large, but with the card swept away by the surf, the threat appears to be eliminated. Lane embraces her work with a new sense of purpose, determined to make a difference in turning the nation’s health crisis around. [This makes it sound like she's using her work as a cooking show host to solve the health crisis. This may be true, but if not, break these two points apart] And as recording for the episode wraps up, she dedicates the show to a hero killed in the line of duty, Special Agent Ryan Cooke. Afterwards, a man waits in the shadows. “Hello, Lane,” the man says. A quiver tiptoes up Lane’s spine. Was that…caramel? [This isn't a traditional synopsis ending, but I love it. You start and end with caramel, it ties into the cooking theme, and it lets the reader know the story has a complete arc, but there's a door left open for a sequel (Ryan not really being dead, I assume).]

Summary

Overall, this is strong. You've got the full main plot arc here, and the reader gets a good sense of the tone of the book (mystery/thriller, but with a hint of lightheartedness shown by the food references and some of the details (for example, that Lane's uncle was killed by a skewer from the grilled rumaki)). I love the last few paragraphs, even though they aren't a typical way to end a synopsis - breaking the rules, in this case, really works.

My main critique is that the descriptions skew vague/generic in many places. Since there's a neat vibe going on with the underlying humor, why not use specific descriptions where you're currently using generic ones? It would add a lot more voice to the synopsis and give the reader a full indication of what kind of book this is. For example, where you say 'When they finally hold the leverage to end the ordeal' say something like 'As Lane holds the necklace over the fireplace, ready to toss it in and end the ordeal' (which may or may not be what happens in the story, but you get the point).

Also, don't lose sight of Lane's job, which makes her an interesting main character. Does she work the whole time she's focused on this mystery, or has she taken a leave of absence? Either way, does that add pressure to the situation? If that's part of the plot, add in a few details to include that color here.

Great job, and best of luck with this manuscript!

Synopsis Critique #6 - Adult Fantasy

And now, it's time for this week's synopsis critique! The author of DARK AND LIGHT, an 85,000-word Adult Fantasy, submitted this synopsis. My in-line comments are [blue and in brackets], and I'll include a summary at the end. Feel free to comment below!

If you'd like a primer on how to write a synopsis, see my posts here and here. And if you want your synopsis critiqued on this website, fill out the form here, or email your 1-2 page synopsis to me at operationawesome6@gmail.com, and I'll post one critique per week (NOTE: I'll email my critique to the author as soon as I'm done, so the author won't have to wait to see his/her synopsis on the site). Thanks for participating!

Synopsis

Draca is the largest island in the Thalassian Archipelago, an ancient kingdom where people live in fear of Possession - being taken in the silver carriage to the Castle of Eternity and an unknown fate. [This is a nice way to establish the setting. Because there are a lot of names coming, I'd suggest deleting the reference to the Thalassian Archipelago and abbreviating that sentence to something like, "Draca is an ancient island kingdom where people..." Then you can combine that sentence with the next paragraph so you introduce the main character (I'm assuming Jubi is the main character) right away.] Nineteen-year-old Jubi’s life is upended when she arrives home from the market to discover that her father has been taken in the silver carriage. Years ago her brother had been Possessed. Grief drove her mother to kill herself. Since then Jubi has had no family but her father. Determined to rescue him, she journeys to the faraway city-state of Sammalore to seek help from Miiya, the greatest living witch. [Great paragraph. Gives us the inciting incident, the main character's goal, and what she's doing to work toward that goal.] Witches, mages and priests have coexisted in Sammalore for centuries. Asteri, the charismatic head of a new priestly order, the Custodians of Purity, wants to end this Balance and turn Sammalore into a hieratic city [I don't know what 'hieratic city' means, and I'm not sure you need that terminology here. Can you just say 'turn Sammalore into a city dedicated to the Twin God (though the Twin God isn't mentioned again, so you might be able to omit this name too)..." Or, if hieratic city means religious, maybe say 'turn Sammalore into a religious city ruled by his priest" or something like that?], dedicated to the Twin God and ruled by his priests. At first Sammalore’s elites don’t take him seriously. By the time they do, he has become the most popular leader in the city, a man who can summon a mob with a few words. Asteri forces the hereditary prince of the city to hold a plebiscite [what is this?] to decide Sammalore’s fate. Witches and mages fight back, but they cannot match Asteri’s cunning or his fiery commitment. At the plebiscite, a majority of Sammalorians vote for Asteri and his plan to outlaw magic. Witches and mages are given a choice - abjure their powers [what does it mean to abjure their powers? A lot of the terms in this paragraph seem to be specific to fantasy worlds. That's fine, but consider explaining or simplifying them to make sure any reader will understand] or go into exile. Miiya has been a witch of Sammalore for one and a half centuries. For her abjuration is impossible and exile inconceivable, not least because a witch’s power is rooted in the soil of her homeland. When a sister-witch is murdered, Miiya, overcome by anger, almost incinerates a mob. That incident makes her realize that she might push her beloved city into an internecine war [what does this mean?]. Horrified, she decides to end her life, but is interrupted by the arrival of Jubi, accompanied by Cillo, a priest who is opposed to Asteri. [I'd suggest leaving Cillo out of the synopsis. You've got a lot of character and place names already, and Cillo doesn't do much in the rest of the synopsis other than get killed. If you expand this to a longer synopsis, then you can definitely add him/her back in.] On her way to Sammalore, Jubi has been abducted by slavers and forced to endure months of brutalization in a slave colony. [I'm a little confused. In the preceding paragraph, you say Jubi has arrived in Sammalore, but here, she's been kidnapped en route. How/where does she meet Miiya?] Miiya’s initial resentment [why is she resentful?] turns into pity when she inadvertently catches a glimpse of Jubi’s memories. Moved by pity she agrees to help Jubi. Miiya, Jubi and Cillo journey to Draca. [How is Jubi released from slavery? Why do they go back to Draca?] During the weeks on the road, their necessary alliance develops into deep bonds of affection. [It's starting to feel like Miiya is actually the main character, and not Jubi. Are they both viewpoint characters? If not, and Jubi is the main character, make sure you're tracking her viewpoint throughout the synopsis. If they're both viewpoint characters, then you probably need to introduce both of them upfront, describing their stakes and what they do to achieve their goals. Maybe the first paragraph about Jubi and the second about Miiya?] Once in Draca, Miiya manages to visit the castle and uncover its secrets. Many decades ago, an illness deprived King Iretsa of Draca [just say 'the King of Draca' here without naming him] of the ability to beget a living child. He wants to stay alive until he has an heir. His solution is to kill the Possessed ritualistically and drain their spirits. The spiritless-bodies are used to create an army of non-human killers. [How does that keep him alive?] Jubi’s father is not dead. He has become a courtier. He is also the prime mover behind an impending alliance between Iretsa [the King of Draca] and Asteri. Jubi doesn’t want to accept the truth about her father. She thinks she can persuade him to leave the castle. Disobeying Miiya’s injunction she tries to enter the castle and is taken prisoner. Cillo who accompanies her is killed. [If you're deleting Cillo, take out this sentence] Miiya has no choice but to use her waning powers to enter the castle. She finds Jubi trying in vain to persuade her father to leave. But he is addicted to the idea of immortality and has arranged for Jubi to become Iretsa’s [the King of Draca's] latest wife. Miiya manages to rescue Jubi, with the help of Karila, a long time human servant of the king who has grown disillusioned with her role and horrified by the crimes she had been a part of. [I would end this senence after '...manages to rescue Jubi.' Karila doesn't recur in the synopsis, so it adds another character name that isn't necessary to the main plot description] Miiya’s only daughter, Saro, had been born without the gift of witchery. As a result, the relationship between the mother and the daughter had been fraught with disappointment and resentment. In the end, Saro, feeling betrayed by her mother had run away and died. [I would delete all three of these sentences. Since this is our first mention of Saro, you can revise the following sentence to say 'For Miiya, Jubi has replaced her dead daughter, who ran away when her mother's disappointment at her being born without the gift of witchery became too much for her to bear' or something like that.] For Miiya, Jubi has replaced the dead Saro. Jubi managed to survive the horrors she experienced by clinging to the hope of saving her father. Miiya knows that if that hope is taken away, Jubi won’t survive. Against her better judgment [is this referring to Jubi or Miiya?], she makes one last visit to the Castle, but is forced to admit that Jubi’s father is irredeemable. Miiya marshals every bit of her remaining powers and summons a tidal wave, destroying the Castle and all its inhabitants. Jubi discovers a dying Miiya and begs her forgiveness. Once Miiya is dead, Jubi realizes that it is by living that she can pay the debts she owes Miiya and Cillo. [Is this where the story ends? What does Jubi specifically do (or plan to do) to pay those debts?]

Summary

This synopsis is nicely written and the reader gets a good feel for the kind of fantasy world you've created. Here are my overall comments:

1) I've suggested places you can eliminate character/place names. Especially in fantasy, where many of the names are unfamiliar to readers, too many names too quickly becomes confusing. Further, you use some terms I suspect are specific to fantasy writing. Assume your reader isn't familiar with those terms (agents may rep fantasy along with many other genres) and use more familiar terms or explain the terms.

2) At the beginning of the synopsis, I thought Jubi was the main character, then it seemed like Miiya was the main character, and then I wasn't sure. If you only have one main (viewpoint) character, revise the synopsis with that in mind - every paragraph should have the main character acting, reacting, thinking, planning, or doing something, even if there are other things going on with other characters (subplots, etc.). If both women are viewpoint characters, then introduce the reader to the first viewpoint character (along with her inciting incident, goal, and plan) in the first paragraph, do the same for the second viewpoint character in the second paragraph, then interweave their stories as much as possible throughout the rest of the synopsis, tying both of them to the main plot. That way, without overtly stating the novel is written from two viewpoints, the reader will get that sense anyway.

Thanks for submitting and best of luck with this manuscript!

Synopsis Critique #3 - Adult Fantasy

And now, it's time for this week's synopsis critique! The author of THE TOWER WITH NO WALLS, a 111,000-word Adult Fantasy, submitted this synopsis. My in-line comments are [blue and in brackets], and I'll include a summary at the end. Feel free to comment below!

If you'd like a primer on how to write a synopsis, see my posts here and here. And if you want your synopsis critiqued on this website, fill out the form here, or email your 1-2 page synopsis to me at operationawesome6@gmail.com, and I'll post one critique per week (NOTE: I'll email my critique to the author as soon as I'm done, so the author won't have to wait to see his/her synopsis on the site). Thanks for participating!

Synopsis

K-ONE lives in the steel Tower of Resteth. She is a “baldra,” a young woman who has survived a fatal illness. [Thank you for explaining what that term means right up front!] The ten baldra of the Tower act as servants to their upper class masters, allowing their blood to be harvested for cure research in exchange for the NEN, a mind-fogging medicine which keeps them alive. ['Nen' doesn't have to be in all-caps here, since it's not a character. If it's a proper noun, you can just introduce it as 'the Nen' or, as I suggest below, leave out the name and describe it as the potion, medication, etc.] [This is a nice, clear first paragraph. We're given K-1's 'normal life' and you do quite a bit of world-building with not very many words.] During an errand, K-1 crosses paths with the ruthless Tower leader RIDER, who is genial to her despite her loss of temper. [Why did she lose her temper? If she's a servant and he's ruthless, and she depends on him to stay alive, wouldn't she try to hold her temper? We may need a few character details about K-1 earlier to feel comfortable with this.] Now having doubts about his character, K-1 feels impotent, terrified that she is missing something. [This seems like an odd reaction to finding out Rider is actually a nice guy. Does he also seem to know things about her? Is he trying to get her to do something for him? Why does she feel like she's missing something?] In voicing this fear, she provokes an unexpected voice in her head to speak. [Is this the first time she's heard voices in her head? If so, say that. If not, give the reader a hint that this is something that happens to K-1 a lot] The voice is XABRIC, a prisoner of the Tower. He senses magic inside her, and suggests that she use it to escape with him. K-1 refuses to trust a captive. [But she's kind of a captive herself, isn't she?] The next day, K-1 again sees Rider, but he hits her in front of other Tower leaders in a vicious display. Tormented by this reversal, K-1 is then tasked with cleaning Dungeon cells near Xabric. [Has she met Xabric before she heard his voice in her head the day before? If not, how does she know it's him?] She can hear it as he is tortured through other people’s bodies. [What does 'tortured through other people's bodies' mean?] After, he explains in mind-speak that when he looks in someone’s eyes, he can control and speak to them. As he has never seen her, their connection should thus be impossible, although he cannot control her as is. Xabric then declares the Nen a lie. K-1 is unnerved, but though she pities him, she is still resolute not to help him. [Why?] Later, K-1 comes across another baldra who has been beaten nearly to death. K-1 barely saves her life with what she believes is Nen, but turns out not to be. [What is it? How does K-1 discover it's not Nen?] Suspicious of the Nen and angry at her masters’ senseless violence, K-1 purposely goes the fatal amount of time without Nen. When she doesn’t die, she offers to help Xabric escape, if he will help her get all ten baldra out of the Tower with him. He says their best chance to escape is during the upcoming holiday, Omniren. [There are a lot of names/terms specific to your world in this synopsis, which can quickly get confusing for a reader. For those that are less important to the plot flow, I suggest omitting the proper nouns and describing them. 'Omniren' can just be 'the upcoming holiday.'] With less Nen in her system, K-1 spies on the Tower for Xabric. However, a baldra caretaker named REIMA is growing suspicious of her. [This sentence feels like a non-sequitur since we don't circle back to Reima again for two more paragraphs. You can add this sentence to the last paragraph, as something like, 'However, a baldra caretaker, who has been growing suspicious of her, catches her and Rider..." That'll save some space, improve narrative flow in this paragraph, and you won't have to add another named character] When K-1 learns that her best friend, K-TWELVE, [no need to name K-12 here. Just say 'her best friend.'] is being regularly abused by a Tower leader, she is stirred on a deep level, [I think you can omit 'stirred on a deep level' since it's non-specific, and go right to the action she takes] and makes a risky visit to Xabric only to witness Rider torturing him. Yet the following day, Rider steals her away to a romantic hidden spring, where Rider both proves he knows she is up to no good, yet also confides in her, showing that he’ll keep her secrets. She finds herself wanting to like him, and is overwhelmed by conflicting emotions. [I want a little more about Rider when he's first introduced. Is he handsome? Charming? Why is K-1 falling for him (despite his surprising geniality) when she knows he's torturing her friend? A little more character detail early on will make this shift in K-1's feelings seem genuine.] K-1 then learns that Xabric will be a sacrifice at Omniren. [again, here you can just say 'the upcoming holiday.'] Angry because he lied to her, K-1 abandons him. [What did Xabric lie about? Or was it Rider who lied? Specify.] That evening, however, K-12 [again, this can just be 'K-1's best friend'] accidentally creates fire, and K-1 recognizes it as the vague, evil power in her masters’ folklore. [How does she recognize it as such? Why does it make her so angry?] Her hatred of her masters and their lies overcomes her, and she rejoins Xabric, only to lose herself in the fog of Nen for days, [does she drug herself or is she drugged? If she's drugged, by whom?] emerging from her drugged state a day before Omniren. In the race to escape, K-1 discovers that Rider’s hitting her was a veiled attempt to help her. [How does this work? I'm sure it's not meant this way, but it reads a little like making an excuse for an abuser] Determined to understand his motivations, she ignores the danger and meets with him, and he kisses her. Having recently learned the baldra are homosexual, she now becomes distressed over her identity among them. [This is an odd detail. Wouldn't she have realized this earlier? If this sentence isn't vital to the plot (maybe K-1 is earlier questioning her identity because she's not attracted to women, or something similar) I'd omit it.] Reima catches her and Rider, and imprisons K-1, who escapes and frees K-12 from her abuser, learning in the moment that baldra are capable of healing. [There's a lot going on in this sentence. Suggest you break it up into 2-3 sentences] They are pursued deep into the Tower, where they find a machine filled with their blood and realize they have been harvested all their lives as a power source. [They knew they were being harvested, right, but they thought it was for scientific research? I'd bring this full circle if the fact that their blood is being harvesting as a power source instead is what's shocking to K-1]
When they reach Xabric, K-1 discovers he is a giant. [How did she not know this before?] He is too injured to move, and K-1 nearly gives in to despair, but her love of K-12 convinces her to fight an impossible battle rather than submit. [But she already rescued K-12, didn't she?] In the ultimate act of trust, she looks in Xabric’s eyes and allows him to fully control her. This act heals him with her power. Twelve then releases enough fire magic to melt Xabric’s chains, but Reima recaptures K-1 and is about to kill her when Rider saves her life. They part with K-1 believing he [Rider] is a friend, not an enemy. But before the baldra flee the Tower with Xabric, Twelve dies from overexertion. K-1 feels intense sorrow, self-blame, and loss of direction, but she still looks to the future as they escape. [Specify what 'looks to the future' means here. A life with Rider? Starting a new life with the baldra? It's the last sentence, so end with some enticing details.]

Summary

Overall, this is a good synopsis: it's well-written with a nice narrative flow. My main critiques are:

(1) Especially for a fantasy novel, where you've created new names for people, places, and objects, try to keep the proper names to a minimum in the synopsis. Otherwise, it gets very confusing for the reader, who likely hasn't read the whole manuscript yet and had a chance to learn all the names. For example, 'The Nen' can be the medicine, or the tonic, or something like that. 'Omniren' can be 'the holiday.' The only characters who seem to merit proper names in this synopsis are K-1, Rider, and Xabric (though if you can eliminate the proper names for the Nen and Omniren, then you can add the proper names for K-12 and Reima).

2) I included a number of how/why questions throughout. It doesn't take too many words to explain how or why things are happening. For example, in the last paragraph, you state that K-1 realizes Xabric is a giant, and that was confusing to me since it seemed like they'd met in the third paragraph. So changing that sentence to "Because K-1 had been near Xabric, but never actually seen him, when they reach Xabric's cell, she's surprised to discover he's a giant." That's a bit awkward, but it explains the situation and the reader doesn't have to pause to wonder about it. I tried to point out each place in the synopsis where I had similar questions.

Great job, and best of luck with this manuscript!

Wednesday Debut Interview: Grudging by Michelle Hauck

Our debut interview today is Michelle Hauck, talking about her debut adult fantasy novel, GRUDGING.

Thanks for agreeing to be interviewed at Operation Awesome and congratulations on your adult debut! Tell us a little bit about GRUDGING!
Let me try to avoid the blurb and put it in my own words. A city-state in the desert is under siege from an overwhelming army. Other city-states have already burned. Their only recourse is to seek assistance from their traditional enemy—the witches. It’s a tale of four characters: A young man, Ramiro, who hero worships his brother. The city Alcalde trying to keep his people alive. A girl, Claire, who wants to know more about her magic and life outside her swamp. A priest who lands in the middle of the enemy. Can they come together to beat back the flames and save a people?


Worldbuilding is often a huge part of what sets fantasy novels apart. Can you tell us some aspects of GRUDGING's world that makes it unique?
The world of GRUDGING is based on medieval Spain with Moorish aspects, which means a form of religion based on Catholicism, with a twist of course. It’s set in a desert and a swamp to make sure the terrain varies. And it includes three completely different cultures to keep the plot complex. You have witches who sing to bewilder the mind. An enemy religion of blood sacrifice to appease a dark god. And a weapon that can kill with just a touch.


You mention witches that can sing to bewilder the mind; that sounds similar to the ancient myths of sirens. What sort of research did you do and how much of your sirenas are based on the Greek sirens?
I did research on other things, such as armor, but did nothing on sirens. I wanted my sirens to be different. For one they live in a swamp and not the sea. They use their magic to repel men, not lure them. The Women of the Song just want to be left alone. They will use their magic to defend themselves if needed and have a variety of tricks up their sleeves.


Let's talk about your writing process. How long did it take you to draft this novel? How long from that first draft until publication?
Hmm. Let me think. I started GRUDGING in November of 2014 as a NaNoMoWri project (write a book in a month). I don’t usually try to write 50,000 words in a month because I know that’s not possible for me, but I needed the motivation to get started. I did manage ten thousand words. Then it took me eleven months to finish the draft and have my critique partners read and send feedback. My agent sent more feedback and some larger revisions. It went on submission in February 2015 and sold at the end of May. So it’s published just a year after I started it!

Can you tell us about how you got your book deal with Harper Voyager and what makes them a good fit for your book?
My agent sent GRUDGING out on submission to about eight editors. Harper Voyager was one of those who requested quickly, then we waited about two months before they offered for their Impulse line. I love that Harper Voyager is devoted to science fiction and fantasy, and they were specifically looking for more epic fantasy at the time. Fantasy is all I write and read, so I feel like I really fit in.


What about the title? Was GRUDGING the original title you had in mind? How did it come about?
GRUDGING is my original title when I started the manuscript during NaNoMoWri in 2014. I pictured two ancient enemies having to work together to throw off a larger and newer adversary. Claire and Ramiro wouldn’t work together happily. So much of the story is the progression of that relationship.

Operation Awesome posted on your cover reveal last month (LINK). How did your reveal day go?
We just had a big reveal on October 15th. Rockstar Book Tours hosted it and it included a giveaway of three e-books. I was amazed at how many people signed up to put GRUDGING’s cover on their blog! It was so exciting!


Tell us about your book launch! What, where, when, and how do you plan on celebrating?
Rockstar Book Tours is doing a virtual release tour for me also. They will arrange interviews, guest posts and reviews online. The print book comes out about six weeks after the e-book and I’ll do live events then. Other than that, I plan on going out to dinner, having a big dessert, and just having a lovely day on November 17th. Let’s see if I can resist checking Amazon sales numbers. Not sure if I can help but peek at them.


GRUDGING is book on in the "Birth of Saints" series. Can you give us any hints about what's to come? How much of the series is written at this point?
The second book is tentatively titled FAITHFUL. I’m about fifty percent done with the first draft. I can say that things will not be getting better for Ramiro and family, though he and Claire will get closer. There will also be a new point of view scenes from a familiar character, Teresa. And that reminds me, if you enjoy the GRUDGING and want to see what happens to Teresa in that book, I have a deleted chapter I’ll be giving away to anyone signed up for my newsletter.


Is there any other advice you'd like to pass on to others pursuing publication? Anything you would have done differently?
Research about agents and publishing first. Know how to write a query letter and what word count is desired for what genre. Many people don’t have any luck until their second, third, or fourth manuscripts, so persistence is key. And always get other writers to read and critique for you.

If I could do things differently, I would have followed that advice with my first manuscript. I knew nothing about writing, agents, or publishing. Learn and grow all the time.


And, just for fun:

If Ramiro could join forces which the hero of another fantasy story to help him on his quest, which partner would he choose and why?
Ramiro would have a case of hero worship on Aragorn from Lord of the Rings. They are both sword and horses type of guys. They could sit around with an ale and discuss honor and duty and what it means to them.


Thank you so much for your participation in this Wednesday Debut Interview!
You can follow Michelle here:

Twitter: @Michelle4Laughs

Blog: Michelle4Laughs: It’s in the Details

Facebook: Michelle Hauck, Author

Goodreads: Grudging

Goodreads: Kindar’s Cure

Tumblr: Michelle4Laughs

Buy links for GRUDGING: |Amazon|Barnes and Noble|