Showing posts with label first lines. Show all posts
Showing posts with label first lines. Show all posts

Friday, October 5, 2012

Hey I just met you and this is crazy...



What first impression is your character giving? 

 I wrote a book back in 2008 for Nanowrimo that was pretty awful. I loved it at the time, of course, but it didn't flow. It meeeaaaaaanderrrred like a snake through a really, really big garden. The beginning didn't match the ending (a common problem for pantsers, I hear). But worst of all, the first impression I'd created for my main character fell completely flat.

 If you write romance, or anything with a romantic element, you know how important that first meet cute is. You plan it out: wouldn't it be fun if they met at a doughnut shop or a dog park or a moon colony grand opening?

 Yet many of us make the mistake of introducing our main character to potential readers in a dull way.

 Back to my Nanowrimo 2008 novel: 

 It started with a man-child science fiction writer waking up and going through his day. He got irritated by things a lot, and the reader got the full dose because I did this all in first person POV. Eventually his book publicist/mother figure walked in and started giving him orders. He reacted. She left. He went on to the next boring thing he had to do.

 I don't know why I thought it was so important to show this boring part of his life, but I did. I was convinced it was the best way to characterize him for the reader. That way they could be super excited when something different happened.

 Um, setting up low expectations for a big surprise later is a bad idea in a novel. Apparently, readers with low expectations just. stop. reading. This isn't rocket science, I know. My MC was bored with his life, so why wouldn't readers be bored by his life, too?

 I soon found out this is a common problem for newbie writers. A friend of mine showed me the beginning of his on-a-whim attempt at a novel start. He, too, had come up with a plot involving a troubled dude. He, too, had begun by describing just how troubled the dude was. It, too, bored my socks off. Eventually, it was going to get into corporate theft, blackmail, and scapegoating -- but the first chapter felt like standing in line at the DMV.

Nowadays I understand the importance of tension and EVENT in the beginning of a novel, but I still struggle with creating the perfect first impression of my main character.

In life, people like to think they have you pegged from "Hello." The statement, "Oh, you're one of those people," may be said rarely, but it's secretly thought about a gazillion times per second. This isn't a terribly bad inclination of humankind. It has its roots in our survival instincts, which are pretty important. Babies study their parents' faces. When we meet someone new, we do the same thing but in a (we think) more sophisticated way.

We listen for

  • jargon or slang
  • pop culture references
  • vocabulary level
  • accent
If a person uses a $10 word like 'ephemeral,' we either think he's stuck up or nerdy or just plain impressive. It all depends on the sum of the pieces.

If he uses it in a stuck elevator after you've been sitting on the floor talking about the difference between happiness and joy, it will strike you differently than if he says it while staring wistfully at his spilled vanilla latte.

We aren't just listening, either. We're breathing, which means we can smell the way-too-minty toothpaste she's using or the cologne that takes us back to a golden summer of a first kiss, or the movie popcorn butter on his still-greasy fingers.

Beyond the obvious visuals we all remember to include like hair style, dress, and weight, there's an every-sense meeting going on between our reader and our main character. If you're leaving something out of that first-impression equation, make sure you're doing it on purpose.

It's okay to let your reader think the protagonist at the pharmacy is a self-righteous line-cutter with anger management problems, and then to explain a few pages later that he was actually buying an inhaler for his asthmatic five-year-old, waiting in the car with his panic-prone wife.

Meeting your protagonist should be entertaining and make us as readers feel like we've already got him or her pegged. Oh, she's one of those people.

So, to sum up:

  • use all five senses
  • put the MC in an interesting situation right off the bat (make sure the character isn't bored)
  • make us guess wrong - never let a stereotype stand


Homework:
Try writing a first scene about your main character from the perspective of a mind-reader watching from a bus stop bench. How do the MC's thoughts reinforce or belie his other identifying features? Are his clothes ratty but his thoughts highly educated? Does he smile while he's in pain? How would a non-mind-reader perceive these contradictions? What physical evidence gives it all away?

Have fun and Happy Weekend!

Sunday, July 15, 2012

July Mystery Agent Winners and Reveal

Unveiling our July Mystery Agent: 

Michelle Humphrey of Martha Kaplan Literary Agency

Before returning to the Martha Kaplan Agency, where she was previously an agent 2009-2010, Michelle Humphrey was an agent with International Creative Management and Sterling Lord Literistic. She has served as an assistant for Renee Zuckerbrot Agency and Anderson Literary and worked as an English teacher, proofreader, and freelance book reviewer.

For this month's contest, Michelle requested a first line contest instead of a one-line pitch, and she explains what grabbed her in each winner. Without further adieu, the winners!

Michelle's Picks and Comments

Runner Up #3: Ari Susu-Mago / UNFAMILIAR SPELLINGS. First line: "It was way too early to be awake and this idea was stupid." 
First, I should say, I'm drawn to first lines that both establish an interesting character and set a plot in motion, and this opener definitely does both. I already like this protagonist because she's not a morning person (something I rather subjectively connect with) and I'm enamored with the humorous notion that she's embarking on something she feels is a bad idea; my interest is piqued to discover what this bad idea might be, and I'd like to read on.

Runner Up #2: Janice Sperry / SHE CAME FROM THE HILL. First line: "Nothing thrived at the far end of the park." 
Interestingly, this line doesn't quite follow my formula of establishing character and plot, but rather evokes what is, to me, a very intriguing setting. I have a sense of what this section of the park looks like -- dead trees, junkyard stuff on the ground,  lots of shadows -- it successfully conjures a mood and an archetypal place that has an immediacy and makes me want to read on.

Runner Up #1: Nikki Urang / BROKEN. First line: "Red and blue lights dance off the roof of my mother's car." 
I love the duality of the line: we are about to encounter the police and the tension that follows, as well as meet the character who caused the trouble in the first place. I also suspect the narrator is a counterpoint to the mom, and likely a reasonable sort of young person with a wry sense of humor. (I'm particularly enamored with the way the police are evoked -- a concise, light-hearted description of their lights dancing. ) Well done.

WINNER: LL McKinney / COVETED. First line: Caleb learned long ago being friends with Martin MacMurty required two things, inhuman patience and a tolerance for impromptu fashion shows. 
This is the line that made me (and my intern Aimee) laugh out loud. Martin MacMurty, in one line, successfully comes across as a quirky and humorout character; as a counterpoint, Caleb comes across as tolerant and cynical, almost Martin's "straight man" buddy. And, I suspect that tension between the two will follow shortly. So: we have the establishment of two characters, really effective humor (which is partly effective because the line is so concisely worded), and the promise of conflict. Really nicely done.

Congrats to the winners! Runners-Up should send a query and 10 pages to Michelle at michelle.c.humphrey@gmail.com. Winner, please send your full.

Michelle also answered a few more questions about what she's looking for and is open to other queries as well.

On to the questions!

What kind of books are you most interested in seeing right now?
Middle grade and Young Adult contemporary. Also, I'd love a murder mystery, something intricate, like an Agatha Christie YA or middle grade. I'm also looking for non-fiction picture books -- perhaps a biography about someone from the 20th Century who accomplished something important, but who appears to be a bit overlooked by the history books.

Rejections often say "I couldn't connect with your character." What makes a main character appeal to you?
In the first three pages or so, I look for a character's nuances: specific details that make her/him both likeable and flawed, as well as a sense that this is a character who very clearly desires something, and they're nowhere near getting it.  As a writing teacher, I loved doing an exercise where the class would read the first five pages of a book, and make a list of all the memorable details about the main character - things that were really quirky, unusual, contradicting, and surprising (and thus, human.)  The more "quirky" details I get about a character, the more likely I'll connect. 

Can you tell us about any recent or upcoming client books you're excited about?
I'm very excited about Denise Jaden's NEVER ENOUGH, a young-adult novel about two sisters, one of whom struggles with bulimia. It's a poignant, moving, and very page-turning story; I'm also excited about 37 THINGS I LOVE by Kekla Magoon, which came out last spring, a young-adult novel about a girl who deals with a quickly-changing friendship with her best friend while her family goes through difficult times (her dad is in a coma and she and her mom are at odds over the decision to remove him from life support). Both books have been getting great reviews.

Other than client books, what other recent books have you enjoyed?
I'm in a book club, so other books would include what we have been choosing to read as a group: QUIET, by Susan Cain, POSSESSION by A.S. Byatt, and DEVIL IN THE WHITE CITY by Eric Larson. We read a lot of adult fiction and non-fiction, but I'm hopeful our next pick will be a YA. :)

Thank you to Michelle and all the participants, and congrats to the winners. Come back August 1 for our next Mystery Agent contest -- get your pitches and first lines ready. You never know when you have a chance to pitch!

Sunday, July 1, 2012

July Mystery Agent Contest

CONTEST IS CLOSED! 

 

If you missed this month's contest, another is coming August 1! Like us on Facebook, follow the blog, or follow us individually so you won't miss the announcement.

Don't forget to come back for the Mystery Agent and winner reveal!


It's time for our July Mystery Agent contest with a twist -- FIRST LINES!

Here's a quick reminder of what our awesome Mystery Agent is looking for:

Middle grade and YA novels, especially contemporary, historical, fantasy, and reinvented fairy tale.

The rules:

1) Entries must be left in the comments section of today's post (please
don't email us your entries!) -- don't pay attention to the comment
numbers. We'll close the contest when we've reached our limit.

2) You must have a completed manuscript that's ready to send upon request.

3) You can only enter once today (only one project). If you participated
or won previous MA contests, you can enter this one as well.

4) Please include TITLE and GENRE along with your first line.

5) Include your FIRST SENTENCE. The exact word count is up to you, but please remember to make it sing!

6) The contest will close when we receive 50 entries.

7) The winner will receive a FULL manuscript request! The Mystery Agent will request 10 pages and query from THREE RUNNERS UP.

8) If the rules aren't followed, your entry will be disqualified. Please read the guidelines and follow them.

Good luck to all who enter!

Thursday, June 28, 2012

It's coming! July Mystery Agent

Sunday, July 1, is our June Mystery Agent Contest, and this one is a bit different -- a first line contest!

Our Mystery Agent for July is looking for middle grade and YA novels, especially contemporary, historical, fantasy, and reinvented fairy tale.


Reminders:

  • Entries should be for completed manuscripts only.
  • You can enter one entry for one novel -- if you make a mistake, just delete your entry and repost.
  • Yes, you are eligible to enter even if you've won MA contests in the past.
  • The first 50 qualifying entries will be accepted -- don't pay attention to the comment numbers. We will close the contest when we've reached our limit.
  • If the rules are not followed, your pitch will be disqualified. Please carefully read the guidelines and follow them
  • Entries should include:
Author
Title
Genre
First Sentence

Anyone can enter as long as your novel falls under the genres our MA is looking for. If this particular MA doesn't rep your genre, no worries -- we hold these contests often and try to find agents with diverse tastes so there will be a contest in the future for your particular genre.

The contest will go live Sunday, July 1 at 10 am ET / 9 CT / 8 MT / 7 PT

Come back July 1 to enter! And good luck!

(And for those who wait, the winners of the June Mystery Agent contest will be posted soon.)

Update: The July Mystery Agent contest is closed. Please don't enter the July Mystery Agent contest via this post. Our M.A contests can be entered via a post that goes live the day of the contest (1st of each month). Thank you.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

We'll Start At The Very Beginning

"It is the truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife."
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen.

Did I get your attention? Then I'll begin.

They say the opening is the most important. It's the one that grabs the reader. The one that makes us want to spend 300+ pages with the hero/heroine. It's also the one that can have us staring at the blank page tearing our hair out.

But how do you get that opening just right? How do you go from an so-so opening to a great one? You know the one I'm talking about, right? The one that makes agents excited enough to read on. That makes them see the potential in you/your MS baby and request your full and then offer representation. The opening that - once published - makes readers buy your book and set up those fan pages dedicated to great quotes.

Sorry, I got a bit carried away there. Back to reality.

His Dark Materials author Phillip Pullman was asked how he wrote great books. His reply was that it's easy; all you have to do is write a brilliant first page. And then a brilliant second page. And then a brilliant third page... And well, you get the idea.

My first line trick? Get the darn first draft out of the way. Once the whole thing is done, I can then go back to focus on the first line during edits. It may be that killer opening line is a sentence or paragraph further down. Time and re-reading (and amazing CP's) can help pull it to the surface.

 I wish I had a magic formula to share. If they're are any hard and fast rules then I'm still looking, but there are a few other things that can help:

Choose a few books off your shelf. Read the first lines. See what grabbed you as a reader.

You can also check out these links:

http://writing-novels.suite101.com/article.cfm/more_great_first_lines

Stina Lindenblatt has a few posts on awesome first lines here.

So over to you. Do you have a favourite opening of a novel? How do you work on yours to make it great?

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Middle Grade Fantasy: First Lines

I've been loving Amparo's series on first lines in books. So I thought I'd chime in with my favorite area: Middle Grade Books. Middle Grade Fantasy, to be precise. Just so ya all know that our blog is not just a YA blog. We love all types of books. I don't have any insight because they are all so varied. So let me know what you think and which openings appealed to you most.


Opening Lines:

"Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood." Rick Rioddan, The Lightning Theif.

"Kendra stared out the side window of the SUV, watching foliage blur past." Brandon Mull, Fablehaven.

"Night lay upon the forest." Erin Hunter, Midnight (Warriors: The New Prophecy, Book 1).


"If someone had asked Jared Grace what jobs his brother and sister would have when they grew up, he would have had no trouble replying." Diterlizzi and Black, The Spiderwick Chronicles, Book 1.

"The sign in the front of St. Barnaby's Home for the Hopeless, Abandoned, Forgotten, and Lost read CRUSINNG THE SPIRIT OF CHILDHOOD SINCE 1898." Matt Myklusch, The Accidental Hero.

"As of today, there are only seven children who have ever read this book and lived to tell about it." Jennifer A. Nielsen, Elliot and the Goblin War.

"A thief is a lot like a wizard."  Sarah Prineas, The Magic Thief.

"You ready for this?"  Bryan Chick, The Secret Zoo.

"Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much." J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.

"The girl was shaken awake." John Stephens, The Emerald Atlas.


"It was early morning on Saturday, the sixteenth of December, the first day of the Christmas holidays." Linda Buckley-Archer, The Time Travelers.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

First Line Love

I recently finished reading Rick Riordan’s The Lost Hero. Aside from really enjoying the book, I was struck by how many awesome first lines he had. The first line of the book was amazing:

                            Even before he got electrocuted, Jason was having a rotten day.

My inner editor immediately stopped to admire that incredible bit of writing. As first lines go, that is made of total win (at least imo).

But it didn’t stop there. Several times throughout the book, I’d turn the page to start a new chapter and got blown away by that chapter’s first line. Here are a few of my favorites.


1. Leo wished the dragon hadn’t landed on the toilets.
2. As soon as Jason saw the house, he knew he was a dead man.
3. Leo’s tour was going great until he learned about the dragon.
4. After a morning of storm spirits, goat men, and flying boyfriends, Piper should’ve been losing her mind.
5. Jason would have died five times on the way to the front door if not for Leo.
6. When Leo saw how well Piper and Hedge were being treated, he was thoroughly offended.
7. The plan went wrong almost immediately.
8. Leo hadn’t felt this jumpy since he’d offered tofu burgers to the werewolves.

Every one of those first lines hooked me immediately, made me salivate for what was coming. It made me think about the first lines in my own WIPs. I probably spend more time on the first line of my book than all the rest of the lines in the book put together (and I still haven’t come anywhere near the awesome examples on this page). But I don’t think I’ve ever spared a thought for the opening lines in the rest of my chapters.

But it’s definitely something I'm going keep in mind from now on :)

What are your favorite first lines? Do you like the first line of your book? What is it? Post them in the comments if you’d like to share :D

Mine is “Minuette reached for the book, using every ounce of self-control she possessed to keep from snatching the thing from Mr. Thompson.”

Hmmm, I think I’ll keep working on it LOL

Don’t forget to head back here tomorrow for a contest of epic and awesome proportions!!!!! Mystery Agent Contest #2 wooohooo! ;-)

Oh, and Happy Halloween!!!