Dear O'Abby: My Writing Career is Going Nowhere. Should I Quit?

Dear O'Abby,

I'm a published author with three novels out and over twenty novellas and pieces of short fiction published in anthologies and literary journals.  Yet my last royalty cheque from my publisher was for $16.  My total earnings across all these publications is less than $400.

Now, I never thought I'd earn a living writing fiction, but I've spent way more than that $400 on publicity and marketing, copies of my own books to give to libraries, advertising and just paying the electricity bill so I can keep writing.  At what point should a writer give up this gig as a bad investment?  I'd probably make more baking cupcakes and selling them on the street.

Do you have any advice?  Should I quit and find something else to do with my spare time?  

Yours,

Disheartened.

Dear Disheartened,

I hear you.  I can be discouraging when you spend all those years polishing your words until they shine and then it seems like no one reads them.

At the end of the day, it really has to come down to why you write.  If you're writing to make a living, then the return you're getting isn't working for you.  But that's the case for most writers, even ones that seem wildly successful.  There are very few writers out there who are supporting themselves on their writing income alone.  And certainly not those with families to support.

If you write because you have something to say, stories burning to get out of your head and onto the page, that's different.  Not all writing has to be for publication.  Sometimes it's fun to write something just for yourself without the pressure of thinking about your audience.

I write because it's the way I make sense of the world.   It's how I explore different facets of humanity and the different ways people react to events and emotions.  If that writing turns into something I can publish, then so be it.  But it's not the reason I sit down to write.

Whether or not you quit is up to you.  Yes, there are other ways to spend your spare time.  But would those other things be as rewarding to you?  Would they give you the same sense of achievement?

Maybe try it out.  I love to bake and often feel as much joy when completing a batch of cinnamon buns or cupcakes as I do when I type 'the end' on a manuscript.  Maybe your spare time would be better spent with confectioners sugar and a piping bag.  Maybe that will make you happier (and potentially richer).

But you're not going to know until you try.

Best,

O'Abby

That Moment When You Want to Quit

I remember my moment well. 

It was September of 2013. I’d just given my first pitch to a literary agent at a conference. For weeks before the conference, I feverishly prepared for that pitch, watching YouTube videos, researching, and gleaning wisdom from others who have pitched before. I wrote and rewrote what I would say. I practiced a dozen times in front of my very-bored children. I walked into that room, nervous, but knowing I’d done absolutely everything I could do to make the pitch the best it could be. I’d packed an atomic bomb’s worth of emotional and mental energy into that moment.

But, bombs have a tendency to explode.

I gave my pitch, but I failed to impress the agent.

I told myself it was okay, that I’d find another way. But, after receiving nothing but rejections on my work for years, I began to spiral downward. I struck the ground hard. I went to my room and detonated. I was done. I couldn’t do this anymore.

I’ve lost count of how many writers and other artists I’ve spoken to who have experienced “that moment.” I’ve watched friends withdraw and become depressed, hopeless. I’ve seen it so many times, that I know what exactly what’s happening to them. The industry has worn them down. Their strength has given out under the constant crushing weight. Their dream to do this thing they love, feels dead.

Have you been there? Are you there right now?

That weekend in 2013, I quit for about two hours. When I got beyond the tears and gnashing of teeth, I realized that, in my quest to be published, I’d lost sight of my first love—writing. Would I still love writing even if my books never achieved publication? Absolutely. I took a little break from querying to heal and focus on my writing.

I started sending work out again, but at a slower pace. I realized that I’d been sprinting and this is a marathon industry. I also realized that I couldn’t hold so tightly to my narrow dreams. Perhaps I needed to broaden them and allow them to take shape within the realm of reality. I invested in positive friendships with other writers for much needed encouragement, shoulders to cry on, and the often needed kick in the pants to keep going.

Most writers have experienced moments where they want to quit. These feelings are normal. The question is, what will you do with that moment? Will you allow it to win? Or will you keep going?

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Melinda Friesen, author of the dystopian One Bright Future series, writes novels for teens and short stories. She is an avid collector of rejection letters.