July 2019 Pass or Pages Entry #3

Time for the Pass Or Pages feedback reveals! We're so thankful to our agent panel for taking the time to critique these entries. Shout out to the brave authors whose work will be on the blog this week. You are awesome!

Entry #3: FOUNTAINS, WISHES, AND NEFARIOUS CREATURES

Query:

Sixteen-year-old Del is desperate to save her terminally ill sister, Addie. If her dead father’s stories are true, the answer lies in Eternum, home to an ancient fountain of healing. Unfortunately, one can’t simply waltz into Eternum, they must earn an invitation. 

Del's been collecting unwilling human sacrifices [KP1] but doesn’t find success until a headless body with a phone number tattooed on it appears in her family's desolate Texas field. This is the body Del’s been searching for, the one her father told her about. It's an invitation to Eternum, but Del quickly discovers her father only knew part of the story. The untold secret of Eternum is a monstrous one [KP2].

For the past century, the townsfolk have been sacrificing children to the Neffers, beasts who give the healing fountain its power who only remain satiated by cancerous blood offerings. The town needs Del to fatally spill Addie’s cancer-ridden blood to complete a ritual. Doing so, breaks Del’s promise to save Addie [KP3]. Doing nothing means the townsfolk will be massacred by the Neffers and the monsters will move their bloodlust beyond the boundaries of Eternum. As the line between monster and human blurs, Del must decide how many lost lives the person she loves most is worth [KP4].

FOUNTAINS, WISHES, and NEFARIOUS CREATURES is a 83,000-word Young Adult Horror. Fans of NINE and SLICE OF CHERRY will enjoy this stand-alone novel [CR1].

********** 

Kelly's Notes:
[KP1] So she’s been dragging people into a field and murdering them? Who/what is she sacrificing them to?
[KP2] Not needed.
[KP3] I’m not quite sure how all of this connects to her finally finding the invitation to Eternum. Wouldn’t the rest of the story be trying to figure out how to get there? I assume that’s what she went through all that trouble for, so how is the invitation now connecting to her sister and the sacrifices/beasts? How do the sacrifices and beasts save her sister? I’m a bit confused how all of this relates.
[KP4] Super cool last line. I like the stakes in this, but want clearer details as to how this all relates and flows. I’d also like to know if there’s anything Eternum can actually do to save her sister, because right now, it doesn’t look like it.

Cortney's Notes:

[CR1] Love that we get the personal stakes here, and details about the story that make it stand out. Query needs polishing and some details feel like they need tweaking to make it super streamlined, but overall this is solid.

First 250 words:

The foot tattoo on the headless body read: IF FOUND, CALL (512)555-1212.

Del wiggled an hourglass from the corpse’s bloated fingers, an hourglass that would not honor mortal time if the stories were true. All the sand sat in the bottom of the two clouded bulbs. With a flip of her wrist, Del inverted the hourglass [KP1].

Not a single speck of sand fell.

Five minutes passed. Then ten. The sand clung to the top half of the timepiece as though glue held it in place. Del stared until the dryness of the air sapped the last moisture from her eyes. She worried if she blinked, she’d miss it.

A full hour after turning the hourglass, a single, sparkling piece of white sand released its grip on the others and slid to the bottom glass bulb.
“It’s the same!” Del shouted. Her dad gave her an hourglass like this one on the day her little sister Addie was born. And Addie tried to steal it from her every day since.

Del tucked the hourglass into the back pocket of her jean shorts and pulled out her phone.

Call the cops? Not on her life. Or his.

Talking her way out of one dead body seemed plausible, but the police would canvas the field. The putrid scent of its occupants would undoubtedly betray her.

A turkey vulture glided around the decapitated body. “Get the hell outta here! He’s mine!” [KP2] [CR1]

**********

Kelly's Notes: 
[KP1] I’d love to see just a LITTLE BIT MORE world building and character building on this one before she finds the dead body. I want to know that this dead body is important, and why the hourglass is important too. Because we have no back story, we don’t understand the significance.
[KP2] Rather interesting voice here! I’d probably take a second look and would be interested in reading more.

Cortney's Notes: 
[CR1] This feels like it starts too late in the story. We don’t see the MC before she’s set on her journey to save her sister and get to this other world. However, I like the voice and liked the query—interested enough to want to see more and see if the rest of the story is solid.

Results:

Kelly: PAGES!
Cortney: PAGES!

July 2019 Pass or Pages Entry #2

Time for the Pass Or Pages feedback reveals! We're so thankful to our agent panel for taking the time to critique these entries. Shout out to the brave authors whose work will be on the blog this week. You are awesome!

Entry #2: YOKAI HUNTERS

Query:

Yusei Yamada just turned seventeen and he’s started seeing some really odd things. A woman walking down the street with her mouth slit open from ear to ear, and a man dressed like a crow that seems to be following him. His fears that the Birdman is following him are confirmed when the creature attacks him after he comes home from celebrating his birthday with his boyfriend. After that things just keep getting weirder when he finds a Gollum-like little creature licking the walls of his bathroom while he’s in the hospital recovering from the attack. He’s also pretty sure that there’s someone else following him now and it’s not the birdman [KP1].

Kei Takamura is the one watching Yusei. He has some crazy news for his fellow teen [KP2]. When Yusei’s boyfriend Josue is kidnapped by the birds, Kei has no choice but to reveal the truth to Yusei. That he’s [KP3] an onmiyoji, a human with the powers of a yokai. That’s why the monsters are hunting him. They sense the magic in him [KP4] and now they want revenge on Yusei for the member of their bird-like flock that Yusei killed by accident.  He has no other choice but to trust Kei who claims he’s also onmiyoji. The birdmen are about to sacrifice Josue [KP5] to an angry ghost whose scream can kill and Yusei knows that he can’t do this without back-up [KP6][CR1].

Yokai Hunters is an 85 page, 9,000-word horror/adventure graphic novel set in modern-day Oregon.  It features creatures from Japanese folklore and features an interracial LGBTQ couple. This is the first in a series of graphic novels featuring Japanese monsters and hopefully some creatures from Central American folklore as well. I hope to try and introduce readers to the hundreds of fascinating Japanese monsters out there. Everything from shrieking ghosts to vampire trees and spider women. The story is Grimm meets Supernatural with a Japanese twist [KP7][CR2].

********** 

Kelly's Notes:
[KP1] This is a lot of people following him and threatening him. Can we condense this to a few shorter sentences so that we get the point that he’s in trouble, but we don’t have to go into so much specific explanation?
[KP2] “Crazy” probably isn’t the best word to use here. Is it news that will turn his life upside down? Kill him? End him? Why is this news considered so “crazy” that it has to get to a fellow teen through stalking?
[KP3] That Kei is a onmiyoji or that Yusei is?
[KP4] Who is “him?”
[KP5] Who is Josue?
[KP6] The POV’s in this paragraph keep switch back and forth, so it’s very confusing to read. I’m not sure who is what and what is whom at this point. Try to stick to one POV per paragraph.
[KP7] These are interesting comps and should be placed up front! 

Cortney's Notes:
[CR1] A lot of world-specific terms I don’t understand. It’s not making me interested, but confused, since I don’t have any context for what these words mean and what impact they really have on the MC.
[CR2] Here for the comparisons!!! Love SUPERNATURAL and Grimm fairytales, especially with a different culture’s twist. Great, short way to pique interest.

First 250 words:

PART 1
PAGE 1
Panel 1:
YUSEI YAMATO, a 17-year-old Japanese boy walks down the street. He’s wearing a long sleeve red and white plaid shirt over a white undershirt and black trousers. He carries a heavy backpack and has his face buried in his phone, smiling as he walks. The neighborhood he walks through is well maintained with small, well-kept houses.

Panel 2:
Yusei runs into a JAPANESE WOMAN who is standing in the middle of the sidewalk and looks up from his phone.

YUSEI: Sorry, I didn’t…

Panel 3:
The woman turns to look at him and Yusei recoils.
YUSEI: Holy s&$%!

Panel 4:
The woman’s face is split open at the corner of her mouth from ear to ear. She smiles creepily at him. She wears a black kimono and blood still drips from the terrible wounds.
WOMAN: Onmiyoji.

Panel 5:
A car behind them backfires and Yusei whips around to look.

Panel 6:
When Yusei looks back, the woman is gone.


PAGE 2
Panel 1:
Yusei continues down the street, looking back at his phone. A CREATURE wearing a red robe who appears to be wearing a mask that looks like a crow with black feathers and beady eyes watches Yusei from behind a nearby tree [KP1].


PAGE 3: Portland, Oregon
Panel 1:
In a plain white hallway lined with dim, plain wall sconces, a JAPANESE WOMAN in a pink floral kimono holds a stack of golden plates in her arms. Her face is streaked with tears [CR1].

**********

Kelly's Notes: 
[KP1] I don’t represent graphic novels, so I don’t feel competent enough to give feedback on the manuscript itself. I will also have to unfortunately pass because of this.

Cortney's Notes: 

[CR1] I’m not super well versed in graphic novels, but to me this feels like it starts WAY too soon in the story. We don’t see Yusei before the inciting incident and that makes it very difficult to care about him seeing monsters.

 

Results:

Kelly: PASS
Cortney: PASS [Between feeling like the story starts in the wrong place and feeling iffy about the query: Pass]

July 2019 Pass or Pages Entry #1

Time for the Pass Or Pages feedback reveals! We're so thankful to our agent panel for taking the time to critique these entries. Shout out to the brave authors whose work will be on the blog this week. You are awesome!

Entry #1: THE SACRED FLAME

Query:

I am pleased to submit a sample of my manuscript "The Sacred Flame" [CR1] for your consideration. The complete manuscript is 50,916 words [KP1][CR2] and would fit well in the Horror or Paranormal-Fantasy genres beneath the umbrella of YA fiction.

The story follows the character of Lisbeth Thomas as she fights to deal with the literal demons stalking her in the night [KP2].  She is the descedent of an ancient race of guardians and the only one whose power can keep the devil contained in his Holy vault [KP3].  The path to victory over an evil that began before creation is bloodied and dark, but as Lisbeth begins to realize the full range of her gifts [KP4] she ensures the blood spilled is not just her own [KP5][CR3].

Originally written as a paranormal-romance [KP6], The Sacred Flame has veered away from the light into the realm of demonic agendas and Holy justice [KP7].  I hope this preview warrants a further look at my manuscript and I look forward to hearing back from you soon.

********** 

Kelly's Notes:
[KP1] Low word count for this genre and age range. I would feel better in the 65-80k word range or higher, depending on the world building needed to bring the fantasy elements to life.
[KP2] What kind of literal demons? How are they stalking her?
[KP3] Does she know she’s a descendant, or is this a surprise to her? Is she a chosen one?
[KP4] What kind of gifts? Please explain.
[KP5] What are the stakes? What will happen if she fails? What is her goal? What is her drive? What does she want, and what will happen if she doesn’t get it?
[KP6] Delete this phrase
[KP7] How so? I’m not sure I understand what you mean…
 
Cortney's Notes:
[CR1] Book title should be in all caps, no quotation marks. Published books (for comp titles) should be all caps in italics.
[CR2] Still technically within the right word count range, but running a little low—this sets off a flag for me, wondering if something might be missing in the MS to keep the word count low?
[CR3] This is all very generic. There’s not really anything here for me to latch onto, nothing that grabs me and makes me think “ohhhh this is different, this is special, I want to see more”. It doesn’t have much voice, either—mostly it feels like a longer logline than an actual query. It needs more punch, more showing what makes this story unique, and more personal conflict and tension for the MC. 

First 250 words:

Lisbeth stopped, as she always did, to examine the ferocious glare of the monster.  It's mouth was pulled back in a grimacing snarl, blank eyes regarding her with both curiosity and disdain in equal measure.  Lisbeth shivered.  She adjusted her bag on her shoulder before continuing up the steps to the oversized oak doors of Morgan Senior High School.

The old red building was suited to stone monsters: it's brick wall, with black iron spears threatening the sky itself, loomed around the perimeter, while the black bars along some of the windows told a story of the school's past Lisbeth shuddered to recall.  Even the way creepers had grown over the bricks, reaching longingly for the old clock tower – which was only used for storing old desks or busted lockers – gave the building the sense that it had been plucked out of a time of darkness.  Morgan Senior High had been a residential school for a while, after they had dismantled the sanatorium; both its previous guises had been places where nightmares were made real.  Now it was only a high school somewhere in the middle of North Vancouver.

The gargoyle's twin struck a mirrored pose on the column across the walkway, but somehow, it's menace was diminished by the stony nature of it's eyes.  Lisbeth had never been able to properly explain the differences between the two beasts, except that the one on the right never followed her with it's penetrating gaze [KP1][CR1].

**********
Kelly's Notes:
[KP1] This is an interesting beginning, but it’s all expository details, and there’s not much to know ABOUT Lisbeth here besides the fact that she attends Morgan Senior High. I’d like to dig immediately more into Lisbeth and what she wants so that your reader has something to connect to. Then sprinkle in the details and build the world around her.

Cortney's Notes:
[CR1] For me, I didn’t get anything that attached me to the MC in these first couple paragraphs. We see a couple monsters, get a shot of the school—but I’m not grounded in the MC. I personally prefer to be firmly planted in the MC’s POV before digging into any conflict or worldbuilding. 

Results:

Kelly: PASS: Query needs to be built upon, and the pages/voice needs to be less distant for my taste. 
Cortney: PASS

#QueryFriday

It's that time again, everybody! Enter here for a chance to win a query critique by yours truly! Here's how to participate:

1. Comment on this post and at least one other post from this week by *SUNDAY 7/21 at 12 pm*.

2. Leave your email address in the comment or have it available on your Blogger profile. (Or else I can't find you!)

The winner will be announced in the comment section of this post on Sunday.

See this post for additional rules. Good luck!

Dear O'Abby - Synopsis Woes

Dear O'Abby,

I'm querying and to begin with, I avoided agents that asked for synopses as part of the query package, but I've reached the point where some of the people I'd really like to rep my book are synopsis-wanters, so I need to actually write one.  I've done some research, and there is a lot of contradictory information out there about how to write a synopsis.  Some say you need to put the character names in CAPS when you first mention them, others say don't.  Some say a synopsis should be three pages long, others five or even one.  Can you help me figure out how to do this?

Yours,

Long-winded.

Dear Long-winded,

I feel your pain.  Synopses are not easy.  But unfortunately, they are often required, so it's important that you write a good one.  Agents and publishers use them to ensure your story has a good shape and a coherent story with beats in the right places and character arcs that make sense.

So your synopsis needs to show them that.

Different agents want synopses of different lengths, so it's a good idea to have a variety of different ones at hand.  This is actually easier to do than you might think.

Start off by going through your book chapter by chapter.  Write a brief summary of what happens in each chapter - and I mean brief.  Focus solely on the important events.  This is the beginning of your synopsis.

If you're like me, you'll probably end up with around five pages of chapter summaries which you will then use to write a basic outline of your story, from beginning to end.  Yes, end.  You do need to give away your ending in a synopsis.  How else will the agent or publisher know the book has a satisfying ending?

Once you've done this, you will probably have a fairly long synopsis which may work for some agents who ask for longer ones.  For those who only want a two or one page synopsis, you will need to edit down this longer synopsis by cutting out any extraneous words, possibly some of your lesser sub-plots and any minor characters who might not play a role in the main thread of your story.

As for capitalizing character names, this is a preference thing.  Some agents will ask for it, and in that was you should do it - always follow directions, but others won't and probably won't care if you do or don't.  I like to do it, at least while I'm drafting a synopsis, because it makes me aware of how many characters I'm naming.  You don't want to have too many.  If it's a character who shows up once or twice in the story, and isn't key to it, don't name her.  Just explain who she is in relation to the MC (e.g. estranged aunt, waitress, bank teller).

Synopses are always in third person and present tense.  You don't need to worry about showing and not telling here either.  It's just telling the story in its most basic sense.  If you can capture some of the voice in there, that's good, but it isn't essential.  Just make sure the grammar is clean and there are no typos or obvious errors.  And make sure your story makes sense.

It's always a good idea to get someone else to read your synopsis before you send it out.  Someone who hasn't read your book.  They will be able to tell you if there are places they are confused, or they feel a character's behavior is inconsistent.  It might be a flaw in your synopsis, but it may also be something you need to look at in the book itself.

I hope that helps.  There is a lot of contradictory information out there, but as long as you get your story down on the page in a way that makes it clear you know how to write a story, you'll be okay.

X O'Abby

L.D. Crichton's Debut Author Spotlight #NewBook #20Questions at Operation Awesome

All Our Broken Pieces by L.D. Crichton

1- What is your favorite mermaid quote?

‘I must be a mermaid. I have no fear of depth, and a great fear of shallow living.’ - Anias Nin

2- Would you please, in 160 characters or less, give a #WriteTip ?

If you get stuck on a particular portion of your manuscript and find writer’s block is about to strike, write the last scene in your book, or a scene that’s coming that you’re looking forward to writing instead.

3- What ignited your passion for writing?

My dad was a writer. From very early on both of my parents read to me— my dad faithfully every single night. He used to travel for work and he made a tape recording (aging myself here)of him reading my favourite stories so when he was away, I could still get my fix.

Stories and storytelling have been an integral part of my life since I can remember, but what ignited my passion so much more seriously, is the death of my mom. It suddenly hit me so hard that time is never promised to us. I always wanted to write (more importantly—finish) a novel, but it wasn’t until she passed away that I actually accomplished it.

4- Why did you make the switch from New Adult to Young Adult?

It was actually the other way around. From my first book, I wrote young adult, however a few years back it seemed anyone and everyone was writing New Adult so I took a shot at it and wrote THE ENCHANTMENT OF EMMA FLETCHER, but Young Adult has always been my true passion, so it was nice to return to it for ALL OUR BROKEN PIECES.

5- What's your Twitter handle, and do you have two or three writer friends on there to shout-out to for #WriterWednesday ?

I’m so original! It’s @LDCrichton. As for writer friends who I adore? There are so many but I will go with @MonicaBSanz, @karajmcdowell, and @ruthanne_snow

6- Would you share a picture with us of your book somewhere fun

Here’s my book in Ubud, Bali.


7- How did you come up with the names Lennon Davis and Kyler Benton?

Years and years ago I read a book (shamefully I can’t even remember the title) and the male protagonist was named Kyler. He. Was. Awesome. I remember thinking then that when the right story idea came along, I was going to use the name Kyler because I loved it so much. I went through a few novels and names: Tristan, Mateo, Jackson, Xavier, Sebastian before the right story came along for Kyler.

As for Lennon, I like naming girls after musicians. I have no idea why. THE ENCHANTMENT OF EMMA FLETCHER has a Marley in it. When I was thinking about what name to give Lennon, Josh, her dad, showed up in my mind and started calling her Bug, at which point I knew she had to be named after a Beatle. And John Lennon is definitely the most recognized Beatle!

8- What most motivates you to read a new book?

Same thing that motivates all of us who read, I suppose. To go somewhere else and lose myself even if it’s for just a few hours in time. Every new book holds the promise of a new adventure.

9- What is your favorite book by someone else, what's the author's Twitter handle, and what do you love most about that book? #FridayReads book recommendation time!

Okay so I’m going with fav so far of 2019.
Author name: @karajmcdowell
Title: JUST FOR CLICKS
Love because: It was fast paced, witty, sweet and very well written.


10- Who is currently your biggest fan? What does that person love most (or "ship") about your debut novel?

I’m not sure who the biggest would be. I’ve had a few bloggers connect with me who love the book very much. @BookaholicEllie was the first blogger to show the book a ton of love! She found it relatable and loved Kyler’s lyrics and the banter between Lennon and her guy! You get see her review (with amazing pictures) here:
https://ellieinbookheaven.com/2019/04/24/ya-book-review-all-our-broken-pieces/

11- What emotions do you hope your book will evoke for the reader, and is there a particular scene you hope will resonate with readers?

ALL OF THE FEELS. I really do hope my book has the ability to make readers laugh, cry, love, be sad, be angry but most of all I hope it makes them feel hopeful or inspired. My favourite scene in the whole book is when Kyler reveals his face for the first time which is also when Lennon tells him that she has OCD and about what happened to her mom…

12- Do you have a favorite #bookstagram image or account/ profile?

Firstly, all bookstagrammers are amazing. I am just in awe at the images they create, but regarding a favorite, I’d have to choose @fromlibrarywithlove who did the most amazing pic by bringing to life, my cover!

13- How do you hope your book will help readers in their life?

I hope my book helps those who struggle with self acceptance. My wish would be that reading ALL OUR BROKEN PIECES may give someone a different perspective or appreciation for the things that make them unique.

14- What is the most memorable trait or visual oddity of one of your characters?

Well— half of Kyler’s face is burnt. That’s a pretty big deal.

The diverse book movement recognizes all diverse experiences, including (but not limited to) LGBTQIA, Native, people of color, gender diversity, people with disabilities, and ethnic, cultural, and religious minorities.

15- In what ways are the main characters in your book diverse? diversebooks.org #WeNeedDiverseBooks

Lennon has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Anxiety. She’s constantly battling to prioritize her mental health like so many people do, and although Kyler would not be classified as a diverse character, he is physically scarred so he definitely brings an experience that is unique to him which I think compliments Lennon’s OCD very well.

16- Who is your favorite book review blogger?

My fav bloggers are the book bratz! Jessica, Amber and Emily. https://thebookbratz.blogspot.com/
They are simply amazing and their support of 2019 debuts has been incredible.

17- What was the deciding factor in your publication route?

There was no deciding factor. I suppose I chose to try traditional publishing first because I was raising kids, working full time, going to school and writing a book, it seemed like adding the additional work involved to self publish would be more time than I could add to the already lengthy juggling act I was going through at the time.

18- Why do you think readers should write book reviews?

Because every time you read a book and don’t review it, an author looses a sliver of their soul :)

In all seriousness though, reviewing books is important for so many reasons. If you love a book, the best way you can thank an author is to review it. It drives visibility and sales which trickles down to then allowing the author another shot at their next book. If you hate a book and find it incredibly problematic, it’s well within your right to say so and maybe would help like minded people avoid reading something they wouldn’t enjoy.

That seems obvious though. Less obvious would be that it doesn’t matter what ‘level’ of your writing career you are on. Starting out, debut, 20 books under your belt, it’s the same for all: almost every single writer I know will go through phases where we question why we do this, etc. Negative thoughts can try to sneak in and tell you that everything you’ve ever written belongs in the trash. When you are feeling THAT down, look at your phone and have a review from someone who says your book changed their life—in a millisecond— your attitude is adjusted and your hope somehow renewed.

19- (Do you have )What is) one question or discussion topic which you would like the readers of this interview to answer or remark on in the comments?

Mental health. Period. The stigma that comes sometimes when we talk about it freely and openly needs to end. Use your voice! Silence only perpetuates the stigma.

20- Anything else you would care to share about your book and yourself?

How about one of my favorite scenes? I love this question! Some backstory: Silas, Kyler’s band mate says, “She’s just a girl, bro” in reference to Lennon. Kyler repeats this in his narrative, when he is afraid he’s catching feelings. This scene is immediately after he shows Lennon his face, and she in turn reveals her OCD and what happened to her mother. I’ve always loved Kyler here.

SHE’S JUST A GIRL, BRO.
I came up here to do a school project, and now we’re in the midst of an emotional hurricane filled with all the issues Lennon from Maine with Serious Issues Who Sews has. The storm of feelings I’m immersed in is maximum-force, category-five brand of bullshit.
Bullshit because we’re sharing.
Not my strongest point.
I showed her my scars.
She showed me hers.
And now we’re connected on some weird level that part of me wanted to avoid while another part of me wanted so see bloom. She’s shaking in my arms like crazy, sobbing, falling apart at the seams, and I’m just trying to keep all the broken pieces of her together. She smells like rain. I love when it rains.

Author Bio:

L.D. Crichton is the author of THE ENCHANTMENT OF EMMA FLETCHER, which received a starred review from School Library Journal. She’s a coffee devotee and lip gloss enthusiast whose infatuation with music is truly astonishing. If she’s not reading, writing, or checking her horoscope for signs from the Universe, you can find her by the water in search of mermaids because they're real. ALL OUR BROKEN PIECES is her first young adult novel. Represented by John Silbersack @ The Bent Agency.

Social links:

Twitter: https://twitter.com/LDCrichton
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ldcrichton/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ldcrichton
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/15267627.L_D_Crichton

All Our Broken Pieces by L.D. Crichton

Let's talk more about horror books!

Our Pass Or Pages query contest for July just ended.  The genre this time was YA Horror.

Below are some YA and Adult horror books.

Coraline by Neil Gaiman
The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman
Dread Nation by Justina Ireland
Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs
The Fear Street series by RL Stine

Beloved by Toni Morrison
The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson
The Shining by Stephen King
World War Z by Max Brooks
Slade House by David Mitchell

I write MG.  I read MG and cozy mystery.  I am NOT a fan of horror.  Nightmares aren't my thing.  But from the above list, I've read World War Z and Slade House.  I enjoyed World War Z and didn't think it was scary.

Zombie from Night of the Living Dead

Slade House, on the other hand, was REALLY creepy.  I'm not sorry I read it, because the way the author created a pervasive creepy and foreboding tone was awesome and very instructive, but I'm NOT interested in reading it again.  Yikes!

Abandoned and creepy house #1

Abandoned and creepy house #2

Abandoned and creepy house #3

Have you read any of these books?  Did you think they were scary or creepy?  Or is there one not listed here that you want to talk about?  Which abandoned and creepy house photo do you think is the most creepy?  Please leave a comment!

Dear O'Abby - Querying when I've already had an agent

Dear O'Abby,

Three years ago the agent I'd been working with left agenting and passed me and my books over to one of her colleagues.  Said colleague wasn't really interested in the genre I primarily write, so the decision was mutually made for us to part ways.  Since then, I've been working with a small press and have published four novels with them.

Now I've finished a new book, and I want a shot at bigger sales and better distribution than I've been getting with the small press.  So it's time to start looking for a new agent.  Is there any advice you can give me about querying when you've already had an agent?  And already have books out there?

Sincerely,

Old Hand

Dear Old Hand,

The best thing to do in this situation is to be completely honest.  Obviously in a query letter you don't have a lot of space to go into detail, but there is room for you to mention your small press books and the fact you have been agented previously.  Just a single line like "having parted amicably from my previous agent, I'm seeking new representation for Shiny New Book," would be enough.  You can explain the situation in more detail if the agent is interested and you have a call to talk about the book and her vision for it.

You're actually in a better position than most querying writers in that you already have experience with an agent and have probably figured out what you liked and didn't like about the experience.  You will have learned what you expect and want in an agent and can now narrow your list of potential agents accordingly.

Do your research with that in mind.  Was your previous agent slower to respond to emails than you liked?  Did she offer helpful editorial feedback or did you feel like she was trying to make your book something different to what you intended it to be?  Was she upfront about where she was subbing your work and the responses to it?  Did she send you that feedback or was she reticent to do so, even when you said you wanted to see it, warts and all?  Did you feel like she truly loved your work? Are you planning to keep writing books like the one you're querying or do you have ideas for books in other categories or genres?

Query with these things in mind, and when you have the call, ask the questions that will help you decide if this is the right agent for you based on what you already know about your preferences.

You also have a track record with publishing so understand about deadlines, and edits and dealing with editors whose ideas might not gel 100% with your own.  Not to mention you've done this before, so will be no stranger to rejection.  Knowing that you are resilient enough to pick yourself up after rejections or bad reviews or poor sales is something an agent will appreciate.  And seeing that you still have the drive to keep writing and knocking on publishing's door after all that is also a plus for you.

So from my perspective, you're in a very strong position right now.  Go forth and query. And good luck.

X O'Abby

July 2019 Pass or Pages Entry Form

We are now accepting entries for Pass Or Pages! Before you enter, be sure to check out the rules. This month's round of Pass Or Pages is for YA Horror. Any entry not falling under that umbrella will be deleted. The entry window closes on Friday, July 12 at 6 p.m. Eastern.

The form will not allow you to show italics or other formatting, but if your entry is chosen you'll have time to let us know of any formatting you need fixed.

Remember, with great power comes great responsibility!

Dear O'Abby - I want to kill my alter-ego

Dear O'Abby,

I write under two names - one for romance and one for YA.  My romance books sell way better, and the name I publish YA under is consistently misspelled and leads people to another author whose name is spelled that way.  So I want to kill off that author name and focus all my energy on the other one.  

Do you have any advice on how to do this? I have an active social media presence under both names and would really like to keep my followers if possible.

X Renamed

Dear Renamed,

It really depends on what you want.  It's entirely possible for you to just stop doing anything with the YA author name.  Leave your website there for people who are interested in your YA books, but don't post on social media accounts with that name and let the whole thing go dormant.  Then you have the option of bringing this pen name back to life if you ever have the urge to write another YA.

Alternatively, if your YA books fit the author brand you've created for your romance books (e.g. your YA books are also romantic) you could re-publish them under your other name and include them in a separate section on your romance author website and delete the other site entirely.  If re-publishing isn't possible, you can still include them and just note those books were published under the name X.

In terms of social media, it may not be possible to keep all your followers if you have separate accounts for each author name and they have their own, distinct group of followers.

It is possible to merge Facebook pages, so if you think the audiences on both pages won't mind, you could merge your two pages into one.  Might be worth letting your followers know beforehand though, so the decision is in their hands.

You can't merge Twitter or Instagram accounts, so if you're active there, you will need to decide which account to stay active on, and which to leave dormant.  If your YA name has more followers, maybe change the name on this account and start posting content that you would previously have posted on the other account and see if that negatively affects your follower numbers.

It's going to be a bit of work, and it requires you to be consistent, but it is possible for you to leave that old pen name to retire.  You don't need to kill them off in any violent way, just leave them to fade into obscurity while your other author brand takes the spotlight.

Sam Hawk's Debut Author Spotlight #NewBook #20Questions at Operation Awesome

New Boy at the Academy by Sam Hawk

I'm excited to introduce you to today's debut author. He's a friend of former OA member Jaime Olin and an Army veteran. Please welcome Sam Hawk!

1- Thank you for your service. As an Army Vet, how will you spend Independence day?

I don’t have any specific plans for Independence Day. I don’t have anything super patriotic to do. I’m going to hang out with my friend Justin and maybe drink a good beer or three. But frankly, it’s way too hot in Dallas to stand outside and watch fireworks. Now that I think about it, Justin is really cute so maybe I’ll pull out my medals and try to impress him.

2- Would you please, in 160 characters or less, give a #WriteTip ?

Find a writing group. They will boost you and keep you going. Mine believed in this work even when I didn’t. I would never have finished New Boy without them.

3- What ignited your passion for writing?

In 1978, my high school English teacher, Phyllis Davis, told me that I was a good writer. It was the first time I’d ever heard that or considered that it might be true. I wish I could say that I went home and started writing embarrassing teenage poetry, but instead I spent the next several decades too paralyzed with self-doubt to put pen to paper. Who was I to think I could be a writer? I was just another liberal arts major who thought he had a book in him. One day, probably ten years ago, I was having a heart-to-heart with my friend Jill who has a knack for getting the truth out of people. I found myself telling her that I had a secret desire to be a writer and she said I should just take a writing class. I thought I could do that. When I got home that day, there was a flyer in the mail from a non-profit writer’s co-op offering beginning writing classes. I thought “Got it, God. Could you be a little more obvious?” It was almost spooky. I signed up for the class and that’s where I found my writing group, Jaime and Patti. I was off.
My first writing assignment was a paragraph in the voice of the opposite gender. I instantly hit on the idea of an inner monologue of a young woman going through the swimsuit competition at the Miss Texas pageant. You see, in addition to being a butch Army vet, I’m also a super-gay pageant queen. I expanded this into a short story called Pageant Girl which was a finalist in the Saints and Sinner’s short story competition in New Orleans in 2015 and they invited me to come to the festival and do a reading. That was a huge thrill and I finally had to admit to myself that I was a writer and I’m actually pretty good.

4- Why did you decide to set your book during the Reagan Era?

New Boy at the Academy began as an essay about my own high school experiences as a deeply closeted gay boy at a private Christian academy in a town of 3,000 people in South Carolina. Seriously. But I quickly realized that, if I created a fictional alter ego, he could have a much more interesting time in high school than I did. He could have a freaking boyfriend, for one thing. Thus, Timmy was born. It’s appropriately set in the Reagan era, though because it was such a repressive time for LGBT people, and really for anyone who was different from the norm. It was a time of conformity and retrenchment. It was also a time when the AIDS crisis raged and, for the most part, the straight world didn’t care. This is the world that fifteen year old, shy sissy boy Timmy is trying to navigate.

5- What's your Twitter handle, and do you have two or three writer friends on there to shout-out to for #WriterWednesday ?

I'm @writersamhawk and friends are
Patti Downing at @pattiDwrites and Jamie Olin @jkolin27

6- Would you share a picture with us of with your Chartreux cat?



7- What's the biggest defeatable obstacle, in your opinion, that keeps certain people from accepting the LGBTQIA+ community?

Defeatable obstacle. Any variance from gender norms is very threatening to some people. This is why certain politicians have been pushing those stupid transgender bathroom bills. It’s not because trans people pose any threat to anyone, rather it’s because they’re a tiny, misunderstood minority and it’s easy to stir up fear of them. I also think that these politicians needed to move on from focusing on persecution of gays and lesbians and target trans people because everybody knows a gay or lesbian person these days. In Timmy’s day, hardly any straight people knew that they knew any gays or lesbians. Today, everybody has a neighbor or co-worker, or brother or sister who is gay. Like Harvey Milk said “Every gay person must come out. As difficult as it is, you must tell your immediate family. You must tell your relatives. You must tell your friends if indeed they are your friends. You must tell the people you work with. You must tell the people in the stores you shop in. Once they realize that we are indeed their children, that we are indeed everywhere, every myth, every lie, every innuendo will be destroyed once and all. And once you do, you will feel so much better.” Trans visibility is a natural extension of the fight that began at Stonewall.

8- What most motivates you to read a new book?

I’m so gay that I will buy a book solely for brilliant cover art.

9- What is your favorite book by someone else, what's the author's Twitter handle, and what do you love most about that book? #FridayReads book recommendation time!

Author name: Mark Childress @markchildress
Title: Crazy in Alabama
Love because: It’s smart, funny, Southern, and about something. He’s also a really great guy who once messaged me to wish me luck with my book.


10- Who is currently your biggest fan? What does that person love most (or "ship") about your debut novel?

This one is easy. Patti Downing, my writing group partner. She encouraged me so much during the creation of New Boy at the Academy and is sort of my unpaid, unofficial publicist. She also happens to be a kickass writer who writes the most twisted, incredible, sick-in-a-good-way stuff. A smart agent is going to scoop her up any minute.

11- What emotions do you hope your book will evoke for the reader, and is there a particular scene you hope will resonate with readers?

To quote the great Dolly Parton, “Laughter through the tears is my favorite emotion.”

12- Do you have a favorite #bookstagram image or account/ profile?

I love to follow Christopher Rice. Christopher.Rice.Writer. He really understands the importance of social media for a writer. I want to be him when I grow up.

13- How do you hope your book will help readers in their life?

I love the thought of a teen boy or girl in East Jesus, South Carolina or Oklahoma reading New Boy under the covers with a flashlight, and realizing that it will be all right one day. Things have improved dramatically for queer kids since Timmy’s day, but there are many places where the oppression is real.

14- What is the most memorable trait or visual oddity of one of your characters?

Timmy’s shy naiveté. Read the book to see how he emerges.

15- In what ways are the main characters in your book diverse? diversebooks.org #WeNeedDiverseBooks

Timmy is pretty much a six on the Kinsey scale. Doug is confidently gay. Carleen may not be as much of a Kinsey one as she thinks she is. Mr. Maurice is super gay.
I score a 6, according to the Buzz Feed quiz. Sounds about right.

16- Who is your favorite book review blogger?

My favorite is not a blog but a podcast. I’m breaking the rules. Sue me. It’s called Writers in Progress. It’s from England and you should listen. Learn more at @gemjackson2. Oh yeah, he interviewed me. We love him.

17- What was the deciding factor in your publication route?

Nine Star Press said yes. @ninestarpress

18- Why do you think readers should write book reviews?

Book reviews help readers decide to buy a book and they help writers sell books. But don’t be mean. Every book is an author’s heart and soul. Keep that in mind.

19- What is one question or discussion topic which you would like the readers of this interview to answer or remark on in the comments?

How funny New Boy at the Academy is. When I first started writing, I thought I’d write weighty, important Southern literature, dripping with Spanish moss, heaving bosoms and repressed homosexuals. In other words, Faulkner reborn. Instead, I wrote a funny short story about the Miss Texas pageant and I still love it. I live to make people laugh, especially in dark places.

20- Anything else you would care to share about your book and yourself?

Sam Hawk’s fiction is inspired by his experiences at a private Christian Academy in rural South Carolina in the ’70s. He survived his Southern adolescence with his sanity relatively intact and went on to earn degrees from the College of Charleston and the University of South Carolina Law School. He also served in the U.S. Army as a JAG officer for twelve years. He resigned his commission when it became clear he was expected to persecute homosexuals as part of his job. Sam then moved to Dallas, Texas where he met the man of his dreams and found his LGBT family. Sam and his husband Wes were together for 19 years and married for 12. They lived with a Corgi and a Chartreux cat in the requisite charming old house in a historic district where gay couples are legally compelled to live.

Wes lost his fight with Huntington’s Disease in May 2019.

New Boy at the Academy by Sam Hawk

July 2019 Pass or Pages Agent Panel

Meet the agents who are going to critique your Young Adult Horror entries!

Kelly Peterson

Rees Literary Agency

Kelly Peterson is a West Chester University graduate with a B.S.Ed in English and Literature. She worked as a Junior Literary Agent for two years before moving to Rees Literary Agency, continuing to champion her authors and the manuscripts she loves. Kelly seeks manuscripts in various genres within Middle Grade, Young Adult, and Adult age ranges. In Middle Grade, she loves fantasy, sci-fi, and contemporary that touches on tough issues for young readers. Her Young Adult preferences vary from contemporary to high fantasy, sci-fi (not the space kind) to paranormal (all the ghost stories, please!), and historical all the way back to rom-coms. Kelly is proud to continue to represent Adult manuscripts in romance, fantasy, and sci-fi. She is very interested in representing authors with marginalized own voices stories, witty and unique characters, pirates, witches, and dark fantasies.

Cortney Radocaj

Corvisiero Literary Agency

As a member and advocate of both the LGBT and neurodiverse communities, Cortney adores seeing works that celebrate and normalize these experiences, particularly in YA. For Cortney, compelling characters are what grab her the most; she loves books with strong, dynamic, complex characters that have complicated and nuanced relationships with other—especially romances! She loves romantic threads that weave in seamlessly with the plot and characters’ motivations, particularly in SFF. In regard to POVs, the closer, the better; she wants to live inside characters' heads when she reads, and loves as little distance as possible. She enjoys when authors break stereotypes and tropes, and she loves when plots and characters surprise her, leaving her breathless on the edge of her seat. 

Category/Genre: Young Adult Horror

Details for July 2019 Pass or Pages:

Entry starts: Monday, July 8 at 6 a.m. Eastern
Ends: Friday, July 12 at 6 p.m. Eastern
Category/Genre: Young Adult Horror
How To Enter: Fill out the entry form on the contest post when it goes live
What Is Required: Your query (NO BIO or personalization for agents), your first 250 words, a complete and polished MS

You can also read more about the rules here.

The winning entries with agent commentary will be posted on Operation Awesome the week of July 22, one entry each day. If you aren't comfortable with having your entry (which will be anonymous) shared on the blog, please don't enter Pass or Pages!

If you have any questions, please ask in the comments or tweet @OpAwesome6. Also, feel free to chat about the contest with fellow participants on the hashtag #PassOrPages.

Which was better, book or movie?

My first regular post was a success, thanks to YOU for commenting!  It was fun to see that a few of you have actual opinions about books.  Let's build on our previous success and read more of your opinions.

Last week we talked about book formats and which ones might be better.  This week let's talk about books and movies.  I hear you groaning.

We're WRITERS!  Obviously we like books better than movies, amiright?  But some of you out there in internetland might be script writers and have an inferior a different opinion.  Or you might write both.

Sometimes, the book really is better than the movie.  And sometimes, the movie really is better than the book.

We all remember Harry Potter and Hunger Games.  You can talk about those if you want, but what about some of the more recent movies that were based on books?

Here are a few movie releases from 2018 and 2019.  Have you read these books AND seen these movies?  You don't have to limit your comments to these books/movies though.

Crazy Rich Asians [Kevin Kwan]
The Girl in the Spider's Web [David Lagercrantz]
The Hate U Give [Angie Thomas]
Ready Player One [Ernest Cline]
Pet Sematary [Stephen King]
The Sun is Also a Star [Nicola Yoon]
A Wrinkle in Time [Madeleine L'Engle]

I mostly read books.  I rarely see a movie.  If you thought the movie was better than the book, convince me to watch the movie!  Or, confirm my usual opinion that the book was better than the movie and congratulate me for saving my money.

Which did you like better, the book or the movie?  Why?  Tell us in the comments!

Dear O'Abby... Scratch that. Dear Readers.

Dear Readers,

O'Abby here.  This week I need your advice because I'm the one with a writing problem I can't solve. So really hope some of you out there might have some thoughts on what I should do.

I can't finish my book.

This is not something that's ever happened to me before.  Usually I know the ending, or something that resembles an ending right at the start of writing a book.  Even if the first scene I write is somewhere toward the middle of the story.  I even usually write the ending early on in the drafting process so I have somewhere to aim for.

I should add I'm not a plotter or outliner.  Writing the ending is about as much plotting as I do, usually.  But for some reason, I left this unfinished manuscript sitting on my hard drive without an ending.  And now I've filled in all the rest of the missing bits, but still can't figure out how to end it.

To be honest, even if I had written an ending back then, it probably wouldn't fit with the story I've written now.  But on the other hand, maybe if the ending had been there, I wouldn't have written the middle parts the way they've ended up.

The problem I have, is that I've taken everything away from my MC.  Everything he has worked toward throughout the book, everything he believed he needed.  And I don't feel like I can end the book with him at such a low place.  There needs to be some spark of hope for him.  I don't need a happy ending, just something that offers some chance that he might actually manage to find happiness or fulfillment in the future.

There are two women who have been a part of his life over the course of the book and I feel like they need to be part of the ending.  But I can't figure out how to write them in without it feeling forced.  The first woman disappears from the story after about chapter 5 or 6 and is only mentioned again once or twice, but I feel like she's the one who could show my MC a way forward.  But I'm not sure how to re-introduce her in a way that feels natural or organic.

The other woman is more consistently a part of the story, but I don't think my MC would go to her at this point in the story.  Not without someone or something else urging him to.  Things between them have become weird for a number of reasons.

So I'm asking for advice.  What do you do if you can't finish a story?  Are there techniques you use?  Do you put it away and leave it for a few weeks?  Let someone else read it and offer suggestions?

I'm asking for your advice.  Apart from not being able to end it, I love this story and my stupidly messed up characters.  And I want to give them the ending they deserve.  Even if it isn't the ending my MC thinks he wants...

X O'Abby