After drafting my most recent novel, I think I've come up
with a foolproof approach to writing fiction, sure to go down in the annals of
history as the gold standard model of the creative process. To produce a book
in easy, manageable steps, just follow along!
- Read a shelf or two of nonfiction on pertinent subjects
- Make things up
- Start with vague vast plans of interlocking plots and intrigue
- Daily wordcount goals ensure consistent productivity
- Trash 20,000 words of directionless buildup
- Start book again, vague vast plans unchanged
- Trash 20,000 words of awesome actionpacked material that leaves you emotionally cold for undefined reason
- Outline obsessively
- Hate your obsessive outline
- Create three separate equally obsessive outlines. Feel unable to choose between any of them.
- After con banquet, collapse in chair and read a new friend's short story collection. Feel awed and intimidated. Ice breaks open and continents shift inside you. Write.
- Daily wordcount goals are an unnecessary strain
- Outline again
- Introduce three new subplots completely unconnected to outline
- Delete subplots on which outline originally depended
- Daily wordcount goals ensure consistent productivity
- Just keep flying
- Realize characters' emotional entanglements have drifted dramatically from original intent
- Build characters in favorite story-focused RPG system
- Ignore said character builds. Write anyway.
- Stop every day in the middle of a scene so you know where to pick up tomorrow
- Keep writing
- More writing
- Screw 'end in middle of scene.' Always reach the end of a scene, so you know the next logical dramatic beat.
- More writing
- Adverbs!
- Wait, no, no adverbs. What were you thinking, adverbs?
- Blog the process
- Realize that you're boring your readers when you blog the process
- Write with electronica because of the driving beat
- Write with metal because of the incessant energy
- Music just breaks up your flow, man
- More writing
- Oh my god it's so close keep going keep goingkeepgoing…
- Stop.
- Deep breath.
- Write 'the end.' You now have a 160,000 word manuscript. Your target is somewhere around 120,000 words.
- One day euphoria
- Two days black depression
- Two days video games
- Roll up sleeves.
- Edit.
8 comments:
I LOVE THIS!!!! Laughing and laughing. Thank you! Sometimes we writers take ourselves WAY too seriously. At least, I do.
Too true! And btw, I just finished 3 Parts Dead and promptly recommended it to a bunch of people.
You're so right!! This completely new approach sounds absolutely foolproof! LOL
This sounds about right ;)
Lol. I need at least three days if video games!
Oh, me too! I was trying to write a more straightforward 'process' piece, and the more I worked on it the more I had to admit my process changes all the time and rarely makes any sense. Glad it resonated. :)
Wonderful! Thank you so much.
Hah! Well, hopefully you need less of the black crushing depression than I do, so the schedule isn't interrupted.
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