Understanding "Show Don't Tell"

Show don't tell is a mantra among writers. While the phrase is often said, it is seldom understood.

Telling feeds the reader information, while showing allows the reader to gain information through experiencing it themselves. Instead of telling the reader a character is sad, we show the sadness through the characters wrinkled brow and glassy eyes.  Instead of telling the read it's raining, we show the water droplets hitting the character's glasses and dripping onto her cheeks.

The reader wants to feel what the character is feeling. When we "tell," the reader may know what the character feels, but they don't feel it with her. We want to invite readers into the story, not as observers, but as participants. Telling creates narrative distance, while showing places the reader in the protagonist's shoes.

One easy way to tell if you're telling rather than showing is if you name a feeling.

Examples of telling:

The cast walked onto the stage and bowed as Angela clapped with excitement.

Clarence dug his shovel into the earth, exhaustion weighing him down.

In both cases, the feeling is named--excitement and exhaustion. We shouldn't have to tell the reader Angela is excited if she jumps out of her seat and claps and whistles. We know by the context that Angela is excited. In the same way, we can know Clarence is exhausted by the way he wipes the sweat off the back of his neck and how his muscles shake every time he plunges the shovel into the dirt. With that information, we know Clarence is exhausted because we experience the fatigue with him.

Go through your manuscript and find places where you've named the feeling and work toward eliminating those tells by showing the reader what your character is feeling.

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Melinda Marshall Friesen writes YA and adult speculative fiction. When she's not writing, she's marketing books for Rebelight Publishing.

Four Reasons Why Your MS May Have Been Rejected That Have Nothing to do with Your Writing.

Who hasn’t been discouraged by rejection letters at some point?

Today, I’ve removed my author hat and donned my publisher hat to give you four reasons why your MS may have been rejected that have nothing to do with how well you write. First the disclaimer. My views may be different than other publishers. I can only speak to the processes of Rebelight Publishing.

Upon receiving a rejection from a publisher or agent, authors often blame themselves, rationalizing that the problem must be their writing skills. While that could be, often it isn’t the case.

When I dive the slush pile, I first go after manuscripts that fit our publishing needs. As a company, we look at our book list and identify the holes. A few months ago, we determined a need for middle grade manuscripts under 30,000 words. I went to the pile, read those submissions, and dealt with those queries first. We requested fulls, read, and signed a couple authors. If you submitted a YA manuscript to us at that point, you’d be hearing crickets in your inbox. We had a need, and it was my job to fill it. That means those MG manuscripts had to take priority.

We are a small publishing house, and we don’t want to compete with ourselves, which is why we’ve

chosen to publish multiple genres. During each cycle, we try to publish a variety of books—some MG, some YA, some historical, some speculative, some contemporary. If you send us a YA high fantasy, and we’ve just signed a YA high fantasy, you’ll likely receive a rejection for the sole reason that we’ve already filled that spot. This has nothing to do with the quality of writing, the story, or your value as the author.

Another reason you might receive a rejection is that writing style isn’t what we’re looking for. We have a certain type of book we publish at Rebelight. That does not mean other styles are wrong or lesser. This is simply our preferences, and what we’ve found does well in the marketplace. While your style may not suit us, it may suit another publisher just fine. This is why you should query widely. You never know when what you’ve written is just what a certain publisher or agent is looking for.

Ooh, I said that word—marketplace. While writing is an art, publishing is a business. We want to sell book—lots of books. We have to make a judgement call about each book we publish. We make a huge investment of time, money and resources into each book. We have to determine if this is a book we can fully get behind and market. If we feel we can’t, no matter how great the writing, the manuscript is going to get a rejection.

However, sometimes it is the writing. If you are receiving a lot of rejections, enlist additional beta readers to see if there’s something you’ve missed. It never hurts to have an extra set of eyes on a manuscript. I’m just hoping that as you read this you realized there are a lot of different scenarios in play. The best thing to do is not take it personally.

It’s human to get discouraged, but don’t give up!

Solving Story Flow Issues

My first novel had flow issues. Other novels I was reading at the time seemed to flow so easily from one idea to the next–like a slinky walking down the stairs, but mine was more like a dollar store slinky–it would make it to the second step and just roll the rest of the way down. I wanted that smooth flow for my book, but couldn’t put my finger on the problem or decipher what made those other books work.

A couple years ago, I took Advanced Fiction Writing with Steve Alcorn--which I highly recommend--and in one of the lessons he presented the Scene and Sequel technique. I doubted him. In fact, I told him how wrong he was and set out to prove it. But, I soon realized, much to my irritation, he was right. Scene and Sequel not only remedied my story flow issues, but has been the technique that has most transformed my manuscripts.

If I were naming this technique I would have called it "Action and Reaction." It’s a way of keeping

tension and action at a high level, while giving your character a chance to react to what’s going on. In every book there are hundreds of scene and sequel pairs and may be multiple pairs within each chapter.

An individual scene or sequel can be long or short depending on your genre and target audience. It can even be applied in dialogue.

Here’s how it works:

Scene:

• Goal– What the character hopes to accomplish, big or small. 
• Conflict– A point of tension in reaching the goal or conflict with the goal itself. 
• Disaster– A setback, big or small, that increases tension. Can even be a reverse disaster, a too good to be true moment. 

After the disaster we give our character a chance to react, which brings us to the Sequel.

Sequel:

• Emotion– Reveal how the character feels (remember to show not tell) 
• Thought- What’s your character thinking at that moment? 
• Decision– How will they handle the conflict? Remember that making no decision is still a decision 
• Action– What course of action will they take as a result? 

This action will lead into the next scene.

Here’s a simple example:

Laura snatched her keys off the kitchen counter and ran for the front door. (Goal) A brisk arctic wind smacked her in the face when she stepped outside. She trudged through knee deep snow to her car, her nose already stinging from the cold. (Conflict) Out of the wind and tucked inside her car, she slid the key into the ignition and gave it a crank. Click. She turned the key again, pumped the gas. Nothing but clicks of automotive death and dim dashboard lights. (Disaster)

Laura pounded her fists on her steering wheel. (Emotion) Not today! She’d been waiting months for this interview. (Thought) She dropped her forehead against the steering wheel. She couldn’t give up, couldn’t let this beat her. (Decision) She grabbed her purse and ran for bus stop. (Action)

Take a piece of your own writing and give it a try. With repeated use, it becomes second nature--the logical way to organize a novel. Check out Crossing the Threshold for a deeper discussion of Scene and Sequel.

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Melinda Friesen writes novels for teens and short stories. You can find her first published novel, Enslavement, here. Unfortunately, she is all too familiar with automotive clicks of death.

Revise and Resubmit

After sending out queries, we all wait for responses. Sometimes they don't come. Sometimes we

receive rejection letters. Sometime we get a hopeful, "Send me more," and then we wait again. We hope for a phone call and not a polite "no thank you" email. A yes, and we're flying. A no, and we're plummeting.

But what about that other response--the R&R. If you're new to the term, in the publishing world it does not mean rest and relaxation. In fact, it might mean just the opposite. The R&R we're talking about stands for revise and resubmit.

For today's post, I'm taking off my writer hat and replacing it with my publisher hat. I'm going to tell you why I ask for an R&R, what I hope you'll do, what I hope you won't do and about the negatives of R&R requests. 

Why I ask for an R&R: 

This is pretty simple. I really liked something about your manuscript. I saw something there that caught my interest, and not just a little. If I only liked it a little, I wouldn't bother with the R&R. I get this excited inner niggling when I come across something I really like--an intriguing premise, a strong character voice, a unique plot or setting. When I find this, I get excited. This excitement combined with well written sample chapters leads me to request a full manuscript. When the manuscript has problems, but I see great potential, I'll request an R&R.

What I hope you'll do:

I hope you'll take the advice I gave when I requested the R&R and dig into your manuscript, that you'll edit with new eyes. This is a second chance, so take full advantage of it. I hope you'll make global changes and then get new beta readers to supply feedback in light of what I've asked.

What I hope you won't do:

Simple--rush. If I ask for an R&R, it does not mean there are only minor tweaks to be made. If the

changes I wanted were minor, easy changes, I would've just proposed offering a contract and making those changes during the editing process. An R&R means the manuscript needs significant changes that exceed what Rebelight Publishing will undertake in the editing process. If you send the manuscript back to me within a week, I'm going to be pretty suspect of the quality of the revisions. As always, take your time and make your manuscript the very best it can be.

What are the negatives of R&R requests:

• I move on. A week after I send you an R&R, I may find something that I like equally, but doesn't as much revision. We may sign that author and by the time you send me your revised manuscript, I may no longer be interested. All the more reason, to rush, right? No, because I may still be interested, and if you don't bring your manuscript to where it needs to be, you've just blown your second chance. I won't give a second R&R. I'll just assume you're unable to do what's been requested.
• I may still decline the manuscript. Perhaps you did what was requested, but it went in a different direction than I'd hoped. This doesn't mean it was bad, just different and not something I felt fit with our publishing goals. However, with the manuscript newly revised, it may catch the attention of another agent or editor.
• You may not want to make the changes I requested. I'm a strong advocate for authors telling the story they felt compelled to write. Whether or not you attempt the R&R is totally up to you. Take some time to think about it. If you don't feel comfortable taking your story in the direction I suggested, then don't do it. Keep searching for an editor or agent who gets your vision for the manuscript.

I encourage you to take full advantage of the R&R. Work hard to show the person who offered you the second chance that you're just the type of professional they'd like to work alongside. 

Have you ever had an R&R request? Tell me about it in the comments. 

Inspiration Along The Road

(Pacific Coast Highway - Big Sur, CA)

The past several months have been a very inspirational time for me. While most of my writing ideas usually come in the shower, or while driving, recently most of my inspiration has come while I've been traveling.


The idea for my current manuscript, a Young Adult Historical Romance, came while visiting the Field Museum in Chicago this summer. It was impossible not to be bombarded by ideas while walking through this incredible place full of mystery, history, and relics of untold value.

 

(Field Museum, Chicago, IL)

After I finished this manuscript, I knew I needed to separate myself from it for a while. There was months of research involved, and it was an emotionally draining story to write, so I put it to the side to marinate for a while.


November was slowly approaching and I had a lot of friends doing NaNoWriMo. While I thought about taking a break, I knew I wanted to write something new. I had no idea what my next story would be until inspiration struck again during a planned trip to California.


Sure enough while driving along the Pacific Coast Highway in Big Sur (see picture above) I was struck with my next idea. This time the story would be contemporary and in a category I had never written in - New Adult. I'm not sure if this manuscript will ever see the light of day, but it has been tons of fun to write, and it has gotten me out of my YA comfort zone.


So what about you? Where do you draw inspiration from? Family? Friends? Travel? 


I'd love to hear about it in the comments!

The Power of Music in Writing

 

I have a confession...I hate writing love/romance/kissing scenes. Well, let me rephrase, it's not that I hate them, it's just that I'm not really any good at them. 

Believe me, I wish it wasn't this way. I read Rachel Harris, Simone Elkeles and Katie McGarry all with total awe, and wonder why can't I do that? Why can't I just create heat in the blink of an eye without struggling with where the guy should place his hand? Or where the girl should move her lips?

This is all a big problem for me because right now I'm editing my YA Historical...wait for it...Romance.

Yes, I am a glutton for punishment. When I wrote this book, I skipped over much of the romance by just putting in "write something smexy here." And when I finished the book (except for those scenes) I worried that I wouldn't be able to pull the romance part off.

But then I was driving in the car one day and Ed Sheeran's "Kiss Me" came on the radio. In an instant, I was in the scene with my characters. The lyrics to the song had me actually visualizing how my characters' first kiss would be. I stopped what I was doing, turned around, and drove home. I raced in the door, downloaded the song, and played it full blast, over and over, while I wrote a love scene I never knew I had in me.

Music is a crazy thing. It gets us pumped up or makes us melancholy. A single note can force us to remember heartbreak or pure unadulterated love. Above all things, it makes us FEEL.

As a writer, I've found many things give me inspiration, but nothing is as powerful as music.

What about you? Does music make you a better writer? Is there a song that has inspired a scene in your manuscript or even helped you come up with a new idea? I'd love to hear about it in the comments.